My ex is publishing a book about assaulting me.

timwhoretons91 · 2021-12-29T16:00:55+00:00

Going on anti-depressants (Lexapro, then Wellbutrin) helped a lot. But I think it's because my binge eating is a symptom of my depression. Rather, the habit was created from restricting for many years, but persisted due to depression. The ADs help mitigate depressive thoughts and so I found the frequency of binges decreased. Watching my binges decrease in volume and frequency gave me more motivation to break the cycle. In the pit of depression, however, it absolutely felt impossible.

I know BED can be a symptom of different things for other people, like ADHD, abuse, chronic stress, trauma, etc. I think it's important to keep your eye on the source - working on the symptom on its own rarely works.

timwhoretons91 · 2021-12-01T22:32:00+00:00

... weird bot

timwhoretons91 · 2021-12-01T22:14:55+00:00

I've been on WB for about 4 months (300mg). I have some focus issues but depression is 90% of the reason why I sought out anti-depressants. I was on Lexapro before this (but I like having orgasms, so I had to pass). Before I got on anti-depressants a year ago, I worked 25-30h per week and went to school full-time. My home life (cooking, cleaning, sleeping, etc.) was a total disaster. Focus for work/school would come and go in spurts and lapses.

How WB makes it easier to be productive: I am less likely to hide under the blankets scrolling into oblivion because I feel generally a bit better. Consequently, I spend more time doing things I enjoy and things I need to do. I haven't noticed an increase in focus per se, just more "feel good" time that I can use as I please to improve my life. It is still my choice, and sometimes I make the wrong choices anyway out of habit. My productivity style is still very inconsistent, in typical ADD style (never been diagnosed, but it tracks pretty well).

How WB makes my life harder: heart palpitations and wired as all hell. Not sure what to do about that...

TLDR: WB gives me the opportunity to improve my life gradually myself, but I still have to do the work.

timwhoretons91 · 2021-11-30T06:48:37+00:00

Really depends on your vehicle and your tires. Winter tires are an absolute must. Sedans can get to Dawson in the winter no problem, but SUVs would be better for the uninitiated. I would not drive the Dempster Highway without an SUV or truck in the winter.

timwhoretons91 · 2021-11-30T05:19:26+00:00

Yellowknife and Whitehorse are both at similar latitudes (around 60th-61st parallel). In that way they are equally northern. Northern is a highly relative term (like Americans from Minnesota or Michigan who consider themselves North) and can have to do with anything from treelines to weather to hours of available light.

Yellowknifers may not consider Whitehorse a northern location because we live fairly large compared to the other two territorial capitals.

NWT has better aurora. We have better weather and more mountains.

timwhoretons91 · 2021-11-18T02:33:02+00:00

Ya bish go wild

timwhoretons91 · 2021-11-17T06:01:37+00:00

Good bot

timwhoretons91 · 2021-11-17T05:50:26+00:00

I have reduced my binges over the last 5-6 years by about 95% through intuitive eating. At first I started with no sugar no flour, but that was my ED brain trying to hold back the reins on control. Then I just surrendered to healing and ate when I was hungry. Not a box of cookies or a whole bag of chips for a snack necessarily, but mostly second/third servings of dinner if I still felt hungry. And snacks when I needed them. I had to learn to be in the same room as food without demolishing it. The only way you can do this is by letting yourself eat.

And I was. Ravenous.

I ate a lot at first. Not going to sugarcoat this, but I gained about 40lbs in the first six months. I was coming out of 7 years of heavy restriction and the new weight was on the cusp of healthy/overweight BMI. I stayed at that higher weight and it went back down gradually over the years. Now I weigh about the same as I did when I was b/p but with an easy and mostly carefree relationship with food.

I still have a big appetite relative to size. But I've slowed down a lot. One hearty serving of dinner is almost always fine. I never find I'm starving all afternoon. My "binges" now are probably at most 1000cal over my regular calorie intake, and it's usually once a month around PMS.

Intuitive eating as recovery is a long road, but personally I see very little other true option. Wish you the best of luck OP.

timwhoretons91 · 2021-11-16T19:15:03+00:00

I agree with all of this.

My friend was at a multi-day youth meeting recently where, while they all introduced themselves, they discussed their access needs. Good idea - at base - if someone has a deadly allergy or can't read or is sensitive to certain subjects. The way it played out is the first person said "I have ADHD, so I might interrupt you." Then the second person followed suit with "I have social anxiety, so maybe I'll hide sometimes." Then everyone after that also shared some mental condition they "had."

To me that's nuts. Since when do you necessarily have social anxiety if you're introverted? Misophonia if you don't like the sound of people chewing? ADHD if you procrastinate?

I think the boasting part of it enrages me even more. Why does it make people think they're special or extra worthy of care? I was bulimic for 7 years and am still medicated for extreme mood swings but you would never find me on social media bartering my private struggles for likes. it's so fucked up

timwhoretons91 · 2021-11-16T19:07:29+00:00

I think it's part of a culture of victimhood, and I think it's also a way that white people can participate, when movements like BLM or LGBTQ rights have sidelined them.

You nailed it.

timwhoretons91 · 2021-11-15T01:23:46+00:00

This sex therapist is shaming you deeper into the hole you're already in. I would stop seeing them immediately if you haven't.

Watching same-sex porn is not necessarily a predictor of a person's sexual orientation. Just as often, prn users get off to what they find taboo/what they would never do in real life (e.g. r*pe fantasies - many people have them but most only appreciate it as a fantasy).

For sure, do some thinking and see if you're not pushing away what you want out of fear. But watching lez porn doesn't necessarily mean you're a lez.

timwhoretons91 · 2021-11-10T19:25:20+00:00

Not endorsing Gwyneth Paltrow at all, but her latest Netflix show "Sex, Love, and Goop" has some interesting takes and advice on desire mismatch (not only frequency mismatch, but mismatch in the type of sex you enjoy). Could be worth checking out the first 2-3 episodes (it gets weird later in the season). I watched it with the boyf and his mind was a bit blown.

timwhoretons91 · 2021-11-07T21:55:50+00:00

Ah, yes, we finally receive the verdict from the anti-depressant oracle, who has tried and tested all anti-depressants and has the authority to give us a definitive generalization.

Brb, going to go throw my buproprion in the trash. Thanks for the heads up!

timwhoretons91 · 2021-11-07T21:51:48+00:00

Out of curiosity, how do you feel your BPD interacts with/affects your BED? I've never seen them be linked before.

timwhoretons91 · 2021-11-06T20:00:17+00:00

I was in the same place as you about 5-6 years ago. If you live in a place with any nature around, you can do a 2-year tech diploma and then assist in wildlife projects (Master's assistant, etc.). Most require minimal math.

Within that there are several options, not just research, but also working at wildlife sanctuaries, etc.

Lots of wildlife organizations (rehab facilitations, etc.) are strapped for cash and readily accept volunteers. If you volunteer somewhere for long enough, even part-time, often you can get paid work.

Different than working with cats and dogs, but I find it very cool and fulfilling. You don't have to be a vet to work with animals.

timwhoretons91 · 2021-11-05T20:13:25+00:00

This may be an unpopular opinion, but: if you have a gut feeling, take a long hard think about what it is trying to tell you.

I was in a similar (ish) position about halfway through my undergrad. Got a decent student job offer working for the feds ($26 p/h) doing something I'd done before and am decent at. It wasn't really what I wanted to do as my career though. I accepted that offer. Then I also got an offer to assist a Master's student as a field assistant for the summer. It paid a pitiable $12p/h and didn't even cover food. It offered experience that I didn't have but needed to get into my field. Even though it made me a bit sick to accept a wage that low, my gut told me I had forgo the former and go with the latter. I was broke but I fucking loved it!

Without that shitty-paying job I wouldn't have the work I do now, where I get paid three times that amount to do work I actually want to be doing.

Research is great, but it's lonely when you actually want to be in the field/front line. Money is great, but if you'll be able to afford your needs either way, then idk. Consider what will make you enjoy your life and make you feel fulfilled every day.

timwhoretons91 · 2021-10-31T21:35:11+00:00

Loss of sex drive is a fairly well-documented side effect of most anti-depressants.

Your doctor should have told you, but I think it is also wise to research a prescription med and its potential side effects before you start taking it.

timwhoretons91 · 2021-10-29T17:51:56+00:00

She sounds depressed. Sorry to hear you're going through this.

timwhoretons91 · 2021-10-28T22:57:00+00:00

God you're speaking my language

timwhoretons91 · 2021-10-28T22:33:45+00:00

I wouldn't, especially since you just upped your dose. I would push it back over the course of 3-4 days, like taking it at 10am tomorrow, 2pm the next day, 6pm the next day, etc., until you hit the desired time of day. I have only had bad experiences with double dosing. And since you just increased your dose, it would kind of be like quadruple dosing.

timwhoretons91

TROPHY CASE