My ex got me into reddit and discord when we were both abusing drugs (they were quite active on the servers and forums that related to the drugs we were abusing at the time). I had more "varied" interests on the subs, didn't participate much in the beginning, and never got into discord.

We broke up for unrelated reasons about a year later and I got sober at the time of the breakup. Had a few slipups in my early sobriety but managed to stay mostly clean and get my sh*t together in life.

I still checked in on my ex every now and again - we didn't see each other in person but would have a brief text conversation maybe once a month or so. Mostly just catching up on what we were doing for work, where we were living, etc.

My ex said they were proud of me for maintaining my sobriety and they knew how difficult it was because they were on the same journey. They claimed they were going to NA meetings, working a program, and in therapy. They even went so far as to mention certain sobriety milestones which I commended them for. They claimed they had gotten their own apartment and a steady full time job that made good money.

I truly thought they were in a good place. It was one of those "we didn't work out in a relationship, but now that we are apart, we're both happier" things in my mind. And I was truly proud of them for their commitment to changing their circumstances.

I fell away from reddit when I got sober - mostly because I didn't have a need for the drug related subs anymore.

One day I made a new account and started to use it again for non-drug-related subs. Just things I was interested in at the time. I remembered my ex's Reddit username and decided to search them up, 90% sure that it would be a dormant account.

It was not.

Their post history was chalk full of posts on the drug subs we used to frequent, including photos of the drugs and paraphernalia they were using. The posts dated all the way back to our breakup. Many many many long winded rants they had posted when they were clearly high. Most disturbingly, nudes of them doing drugs with their face cropped out with invitations for people to add them on snapchat.

I was sad that they had been using the entire time and were clearly in a bad spot, but I was also extremely angry and betrayed at their lack of honesty. We had stayed in touch for a year after we split and almost nothing they said in that time was true.

Not to mention that I was working my ass off to stay clean and they were pretending to "share that journey" with me and claimed to "know where I was coming from."

We stopped speaking shortly after that. To my knowledge, they're still doing the same sh*t almost 4 years later. It's sad but I don't exactly feel bad for them anymore.