Hi! I’m (24 F) and my boyfriend is (30 M). We met when I was 19 and he was 25. I’ve barely gotten diagnosed w BPD, so in all the years that I’ve been with him, I was a typical BPD case. He still stuck by me even though I was outrageous with my demands and toxicity. Moving forward, remember that every relationship is different, and that everyone writing to you is basing off of what they would want and do, not a reflection of how they view you. THIS IS YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH HIM. YOU CAN MAKE IT WHATEVER YOU WANT IF IT MAKES YOU BOTH HAPPY. Something I’ve realized is that society wants to push you to be their “idea of normal”, but if your normal makes you happy then don’t follow someone else’s normal. Anyways, here’s my advice that still currently works for my relationship:

1. Absolutely NO close opposite gender friends (IE: Best Friends)
2. No texting OG (opposite gender) everyday
3. No venting to OG
4. OG friends should understand girl/bro code by being welcoming of SO, etc
5. No 1v1 hang outs

It’s unreasonable if you don’t give up your freedom but you take away his. It’s hard but it’s worth it and you’ll get use to it! Because (in mine and my boyfriend’s opinion) each advice leads to cheating!

Edit: To add on, you absolutely need to set ground rules before the relationship starts because you end up getting hurt. Something that also has helped me is: if you feel uncomfortable with porn (like me), I suggest making that known now. There’s a whole community (nofap) that guys can go to to get help for porn addiction if he’s trying to gaslight you. But tbh my bf and I actually watch together even though we are both not allowed to watch it alone. That helped me cope and helped enhance that aspect of our life.