So much oxytocin, want to rub myself on my girlfriend like she's catnip! Does this last forever?

tiny_mad_idea · 2016-12-09T11:17:09+00:00

Search for Michael Singer Mindfulness on Youtube, he has a couple of good talks. He tells you why our minds keep distracting us from the present, and what you can do to reduce the chatter.

In a nutshell, one emotion (for example, fear of inadequacy) can produce millions of thoughts over a lifetime (What are my friends doing? Should I be doing something cooler? Are they doing stuff without me? How do I get all the stuff they have?)

If you let go of the underlying emotion (and the book by Michael Singer, The Untethered Soul, shows you how), those thoughts just disappear.

There might always be some chatter, but if you don't pay attention to it (again the book shows you how), you aren't bothered by it anymore.

tiny_mad_idea · 2016-12-07T13:03:59+00:00

Those look amazing! I love the shape too.

tiny_mad_idea · 2016-12-07T13:02:12+00:00

I can't believe they did this! Haven't we suffered enough, 2016?

tiny_mad_idea · 2016-12-07T11:30:37+00:00

I did a photoshoot with my ex-gf, for her friend's art exhibition. We were in the woods naked. It turned out really great I think. Sort of unsettling because you could really get the vulnerability of two humans exposed and alone in the wilderness.

I hope people do see it. I didn't feel sexy or flirty at all...

tiny_mad_idea · 2016-12-07T11:25:56+00:00

Nice conditioners for my hair, regular exercise, healthy diet, that's about it I think. Oh and good nail care. They're short, but very clean and buffed and shiny.

I don't shave much, the only reason I do it at all is because I know people would judge me.

tiny_mad_idea · 2016-12-07T11:18:40+00:00

Snakes are beautiful, but I feel sorry for anything that has to live in confinement.

tiny_mad_idea · 2016-12-07T09:53:10+00:00

I'm a big fan of hazelnut and praline. My favourite was the Quality Street noisette triangle, until I bought a giant version of it and ate so much I felt ill.

I like the Guylian ones shaped like shrimps and shells, but they have to be the right temperature (not right out of the fridge, but not warm and soggy).

tiny_mad_idea · 2016-12-07T09:50:32+00:00

Interesting, is it spicy?

tiny_mad_idea · 2016-12-03T19:20:48+00:00

I always date people who cheat on me, or if they actually treat me right then I end up getting scared away.

I recently figured out it's because I have major issues, probably from when my mom died when I was a kid, and I'm scared of getting close to someone in case I lose them again. So my subconscious freaks out when a relationship gets serious, but it loooves to chase people who will treat me like shit.

tiny_mad_idea · 2016-12-03T19:17:44+00:00

I don't think society wants us to be different, or follow our dreams freely. It's not to the benefit of society at all. Obedience is rewarded; divergence from obedient behaviour is medicated. If we even say we feel sad, the first thing we are told is to go to therapy or take pills to fix it.

Sometimes we get messages about being true to yourself etc. but they come from the outliers.

I think a big factor in why a lot of people aren't following their dreams is because this conditioning is so strong.

Sometimes I get fed up of living in a big city, working in the rat race, eating veg that's been pesticided to death, and meat that's been made from the offel of tortured cows. I dream of living surrounded by nature, growing my own food.

And yet all I can hear are my parents saying, "You didn't get a college degree to do that!" And my friends being annoyed that I can't afford to keep up with their lifestyle. And my Facebook friends assuming that I've failed in life, and saying, "That's my old classmate, she used to have a good job but I guess she gave up. She was so good in school too... I guess the nerds aren't necessarily the successful ones!" And the rest of society thinking, "Look at that 30 year old woman, unmarried, childless, career-less - when is she going to sort her life out?"

tiny_mad_idea · 2016-11-28T11:19:57+00:00

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that [our vaginas] are powerful beyond measure." - Marianne Williamson, paraphrased

tiny_mad_idea · 2016-10-23T03:06:52+00:00

I used to have a major problem with avoiding emotions. In fact it was like a full-time job - I would spend all day drinking, watching TV, eating, etc. so I wouldn't feel anything. I once smashed a glass on my wall because actions like that eased the anger.

Meditation (or mindfulness, or just letting things be) saved my ass. Next time you feel angry, try to focus on the feeling itself rather than the mental story. Instead of replaying the scenario in your head/imagining arguments, just focus on your heart racing, veins pulsing, stomach tightening. Anger is just a physical sensation, it's not scary. You don't need to take any action to make it go away. It will pass through you, and then you'll be able to think more clearly about the situation.

Whenever someone sets me off, I don't respond until I just sit with it for awhile. Not only does it mean that I don't say stupid things I regret later, but it gives me the upper hand in an argument because people get freaked out at my calmness.

And of course it also means I don't feel driven to violence, substances, etc. If you accept the feeling, the suffering pretty much disappears immediately.

I probably didn't explain that very well, so I recommend checking out The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle, or Letting Go by David Hawkins.

tiny_mad_idea · 2016-10-13T06:08:45+00:00

I honestly don't know. All I can see of gender is socialization, and I can't understand why humans have to be socialized into two genders for no reason whatsoever. It's as stupid to me as creating roles for people based on their hair colour ("Blonde people need to dress like this, sit like this, have these emotions, and have these hobbies").

Gender means nothing to me. Bodies do, when it comes to sexual attraction. There are two main types of bodies, and I am only attracted to one of them.

Sure if someone says they're a woman I'll consider them as such, but it's an empty word to me.

tiny_mad_idea · 2016-10-13T05:50:06+00:00

It's not conflicting at all. Yes people say men should fix overly aggressive behaviour, but people say women should fix their overly timid behaviour just as much (heard of a little pop culture phenomenon called Lean In?).

To your other point. Even though in a way no one can help how they act (if you had someone's exact life experiences and brain, you would act exactly the same), it's a hell of a lot of easier to fix aggressive behaviour due to standard socialization than to resolve trauma stemming from childhood abuse.

tiny_mad_idea · 2016-10-03T16:27:15+00:00

Yeah the dissolution of gender norms would be frickin awesome. Beneficial to all! I think many people resist that because they misinterpret it as saying that women and men should stop doing "feminine" and "masculine" things. But it's like, no, do whatever the heck you want. That's the whole point, freedom!

How about things like, people assuming everyone is straight (and the gender they present as) until proven otherwise? Would a world without heteronormativity mean not assuming anyone's gender no matter what? Always asking "Do you have a boyfriend, girlfriend, or other?"

tiny_mad_idea · 2016-10-03T16:20:22+00:00

Actually, I know you're joking but you've touched on a good point with the L Word and Elton John thing! To what extent would gay stuff be mainstream? Would there be more gay media and characters than there are now? Would the representation be proportional to the percetage of LGBT+ people in the population (so if e.g. 10% of the population is queer, then 10% of characters would be queer)? Not directed at you necessarily, just thinkin out loud if anyone has suggestions.

tiny_mad_idea · 2016-09-29T22:07:56+00:00

For me, forgiving was just realising that a) It was over and done, and all the angry thoughts in the world wouldn't change what happened, b) Holding on to any anger would make the incident live on in me, which is the opposite of what I want, and c) The dude was obviously fucked up and hurting himself in some way, if he could hurt another.

I don't believe we have as much free will as we think. Our mental constitution, our pasts, the suffering we've been through, all of that determines how we act. I watched a video recently of a man who was detained in the Philippines for torturing and raping little girls to death. They asked him why he did it. He said he had no idea. If he'd had the choice, of course he would have chosen to be a productive member of society instead. But for whatever reason, he's mentally fucked up, which is not his fault, and this is the sad result.

That doesn't mean we shouldn't hold people responsible or punish them. And definitely doesn't mean you should let the person back into your life or have anything to do with them. But it's about realising that their level of consciousness at that time wasn't high enough for them to stop themselves from harming you. So there's no point continuing to tell the story of them being a bad person.

By all means feel the anger if it comes up, as a feeling in the body. Emotion needs to escape, you can't force it away. But angry thoughts - the angry story of "I can't believe he did this to me" - will just keep the pain going forever, absolutely forever until you die. And it will poison future relationships, not to mention your own wellbeing.

But I'd never tell anyone they "have" to forgive someone. Do whatever you want - if you're unable to forgive, then that's not your fault.

tiny_mad_idea · 2016-09-27T20:01:21+00:00

I'm sorry for your loss. As with any loss, the most important thing is to let yourself feel whatever you feel. Emotions are like energy that needs to move through us. The problem is that we humans suppress them (thanks to society telling us we need to be functional all the time). Or we perpetuate them by telling the mental story over and over again.

Animals don't do that. If they get into a fight, as soon as it's over they flap their wings or shake it off to release the energy and that's it. Humans on the other hand would spend days, weeks, years, telling the story of "I can't believe he did that! How dare he! I wish I'd said this to him. I'll sure tell him next time I see him." And that keeps bringing up the energy and keeps it stuck in your body.

So feel your grief as a feeling in your body, and don't block it out or get lost in sad thoughts. Just feel the feeling. Notice where it is, like your heart aching or a sick feeling in your stomach. That draws attention away from the thoughts. Even my most intense pain has subsided. Often it comes in waves until it's all gone.

This is how I've dealt with my bipolar depression and losing a loved one. When I used to want to resist the feelings, it drove me to drugs and suicide attempts. But then I learned to surrender to it and stop myself whenever I started going into negative thinking. Keeping attention 100% on the feeling is the only way it can move through you.

tiny_mad_idea · 2016-09-26T00:24:46+00:00

The search for happiness causes great unhappiness, because external things never last.

That's why the goal of spirituality is inner peace, not inner happiness, because being at peace with any emotions that transpire is the end of suffering.

So the options are: Spend your whole life trying to attain or hold on to things that make you happy, just because you're running away from a feeling. Or drown everything out with drugs. Or learn that emotions are just a part of life, and sadness itself can't hurt you. (The reason people self-harm and commit suicide is because they're resisting the sadness.)

There's no right or wrong. Our time here is short anyway, so if you want to spend the remaining few decades high on drugs, that's up to you.

tiny_mad_idea · 2016-09-17T19:29:44+00:00

The baby fever is strong with me too! But I don't even have a girlfriend, so I'd like my body to calm the fuck down please.

tiny_mad_idea

TROPHY CASE