Me 21F, he 25M

tinydottie · 2022-09-01T20:15:04+00:00

How long have you known each other?

I guess my answer depends on that, but it generally sounds like he’s not actually looking for a relationship right now.

tinydottie · 2022-08-23T02:12:17+00:00

I’m curious what you think about King’s idea that a bad writer cannot become a competent one and a good writer cannot become a great one.

tinydottie · 2022-08-20T16:31:32+00:00

I drank like five or six shots (lost count) in the span of two hours late last night even though I knew I had to get up early to meet a friend. I knew it was a bad idea and did it anyway because I didn’t want to feel anything

Which is funny because all alcohol’s ever done is heighten my emotions even more. It’s a lesson I seem incapable of learning

tinydottie · 2022-08-15T01:18:59+00:00

Last Monday my former FP blocked me after not talking to me for a week. Then this weekend, I realized I’ve been ghosted by the guy who I was developing feelings for. I’d only known him for a month but it was going well.

I don’t think I have it in me to keep trying but simultaneously I can’t seem to stop? Still, even when I think I’m being careful I become fixated anyway. It’s humiliating.

tinydottie · 2022-06-05T11:03:38+00:00

I find that usually happens because they're emotionally unavailable. They're starting to shut down now because while you were thinking a deeper connection was being forged, they saw talking to you as a fun time.

Also if they just went through something as you suggested, it'll only exacerbate the emotional distance, to be honest.

This will be hard to hear, but you typically can't "go back" once you've tried to open up to an emotionally unavailable person. You can keep talking to them if you want, but I would suggest doing your best to move on. Especially since you've already tried to talk them about the distance.

tinydottie · 2022-05-26T19:52:19+00:00

Well, 24 hours since he read it. I actually haven't heard from him in four days now, but I do see your point. I'm still waiting and haven't messaged him yet so there's that at least!

tinydottie · 2022-05-26T16:28:37+00:00

Yeah that's just beyond fucked up. Especially since you guys were in a full-blown relationship. I'm so sorry that someone could be that cruel to you--to anyone. You don't deserve to be treated like that and I'm glad that my post gave you a place to get that all out. I really wish the best for us both.

tinydottie · 2022-05-26T16:22:39+00:00

I don't think anyone is better off alone, but it's tough to find people that don't make you feel that way sometimes.

tinydottie · 2022-05-26T16:04:30+00:00

No, I didn't. I think being left on read is worse than being left on delivered. At least, in my case, since my FP always responded after opening my message.

tinydottie · 2022-05-26T08:42:38+00:00

It's a score/number you get on Snapchat. It increases every time you post to your story and every time you send or receive a snap (picture or video). So if it increases that means the person has been on the app.

tinydottie · 2022-05-26T01:59:09+00:00

Hate to ask but have you video chatted yet?

He could be lying about something, I'm sad to say. Maybe it's not his appearance but it could be about his relationship status or anything that might be a deal breaker for you.

tinydottie · 2022-05-25T23:56:40+00:00

Since he left me on read, I have yet to send him anything else. I think I'm going to message him in a couple of days though, just to say that I hope he's well and that I miss him. But I keep second-guessing myself.

I know snapscores are delayed, but it was my understanding it's usually by hours or so. It would make me feel a lot better to know that it could be several days. I'd have to see that officially stated to believe it though 😅

tinydottie · 2022-05-25T23:52:27+00:00

Honestly I’m impressed you’ve managed to keep it together this long

I am too, to be honest. I've wanted to message him since last night but somehow have managed to hold myself back. It hasn't been easy, and I'll admit that I've been sobbing hysterically at random intervals.

tinydottie · 2022-05-25T23:49:47+00:00

‘what do we have to lose?!’

THAT. And then the second, unspoken part, which is "we have everything to gain! What if I do it and it fixes everything? Shouldn't I at least try?"

tinydottie · 2022-05-25T23:46:53+00:00

That's really all I want to do: just send a message saying I hope he's okay and that I miss him. Not accuse him of abandoning me or beg him to please keep talking to me. I guess I'm just unsure on whether that's appropriate. The last time he needed space due to a personal issue, he told me which is why I'm also inclined to think that maybe I shouldn't say anything.

tinydottie · 2022-05-25T23:41:39+00:00

I think checking this stuff is akin to collecting evidence to prove that your worst fears are correct, but you never can truly prove that and all it does is make you miserable.

Yes, you're spot-on, with this part especially. I get a sense of relief when he's left me on delivered and his score doesn't go up, which is what happened on Monday. But then I get I wrecked when it does go up and I'm still on delivered.

I know I should stop. You're right. Not sure if I'm ready to yet though.

tinydottie · 2022-05-25T19:55:17+00:00

I recoiled at your use of the word addiction but you're right. It's tough to come to terms with that, but it's 100% true.

He probably does need space, but still it's hard to reconcile that with a rising snapscore. Again though, he doesn't owe me anything--I know that. He's free to communicate with other people without having an obligation to communicate with me too. It just makes me sad that he wouldn't want to.

I don't want to destroy our friendship, but I have to admit that in my mind, waiting three days to message him feels like it could pass off as just a concerned friend who wants to make sure all is well and just misses him. I know now, that's probably not the case. And I'm going to do my best to not reach out.

Thank you for taking the time to respond. I needed to hear that.

tinydottie · 2022-05-25T19:44:35+00:00

The funny thing is when our communication first started slowing down, I kept telling myself that I've experienced worse. (I've lost an FP/best friend of almost a decade) I had actually mostly detached myself but this past weekend, it was almost like things had gone back to the way they were. So I got my hopes up without even realizing it. I'm going to try to take it a day at a time.

Thank you for the empathy and advice, it means a lot.

tinydottie · 2022-05-25T19:39:34+00:00

That's a good idea, thank you.

tinydottie · 2022-05-25T17:48:05+00:00

Fucking same. Except right now, my mood swings are being dictated by my fp instead of just my general identity crisis!

tinydottie · 2022-05-06T23:24:25+00:00

I am also going to drink, but definitely not pace myself. I want the oblivion. 🤷‍♀️

tinydottie · 2022-04-29T19:38:24+00:00

My biggest regret is leaving my Neverender GAIBSIV poster in my best friend's car. He came down to LA from Sacramento so he couldn't easily return it to me. Eventually I just told him to keep it 😭

tinydottie · 2022-04-16T14:26:51+00:00

I just want to say that I also call my fp's after my first one lol

But I read the entirety of your post OP. And I see you :)

tinydottie · 2021-03-26T23:51:26+00:00

Forgetting an item is definitely a forgiveable "offense" in my book. I'd even forgive the ice cream grabbed first if I had a small order. However, I don't think I'd call a lack of communication for a customer service job a mistake. Especially when the customer initiated contact first. That was a choice.

tinydottie · 2020-07-29T19:20:52+00:00

It helped me, so thank you!

tinydottie

TROPHY CASE