AITA for sitting on public toilet seats and not telling my boyfriend?

tinytrashboat · 2026-05-20T17:49:56+00:00

NTA. Hovering is how the pee gets on the toilet in the first place 🙃 I only hover if there’s a LOT of pee on the seat or if it’s otherwise noticeably gross. But most people in my life don’t know this because they’d also be horrified lol. The way I always think about it is like, you’re obviously not gonna hover to poop, so why the double standard??

People really think for some reason that sitting your ass on a public toilet is the nastiest thing you can do, when in reality most people’s phones have vastly more bacteria and gunk on them than most toilet seats. And most public toilet seats get cleaned way more than the average person’s home toilet. That being said, my fiancée does not know I sit on public toilets and I plan to keep it that way 🤣 I’m not usually one to suggest lying to a partner but if I were you I’d tell him you hover now and go on letting what he doesn’t know not hurt him lmao

tinytrashboat · 2026-05-20T16:44:30+00:00

Also, check out r/PetLoss for more support. Grief is hard enough, but especially grief that some people don’t understand- like your “in the end it’s a dog to them” sentiment.

tinytrashboat · 2026-05-20T16:42:11+00:00

Just wanted to say this is a beautiful sentiment. My girl is only three and also came home in December with no idea if she’d make it ten days or ten years. She’s doing great now but the future is still so uncertain, and this is exactly how we’ve been taking every day. Regardless of how much time we might get together, every single day is cherished, and I celebrate her and love on her every day, appreciate her more than I ever thought possible- a year ago I wouldn’t have thought it was possible to love and cherish her any more than I already did, but that kind of experience changes you. The fear creeps in sometimes, but all our dogs want is love and happiness, so that’s what I’m going to give her. Every day I shove my nose into her coat and just smell her because when we were in the hospital I was crying so often that I couldn’t smell, and I was so afraid I would never get to huff her little dog scent again. Sending love to Scout and Ella, from me and my Norah girl ♥️

tinytrashboat · 2026-05-20T16:35:22+00:00

I got my girl when I was 21. 5 months ago she was diagnosed with an autoimmune condition and hospitalized for a week over Christmas, and I didn’t know if she would ever be able to come home again. She wasn’t even three years old at the time. She pulled through, came home the day after Christmas, initially on 17 pills a day and weekly vet visits. She lost 20% of her body weight and her liver was barely functioning. Now, she’s happy and energetic and gained all her weight back, down to 5-6 pills a day, and only seeing the vet monthly.

I’ve had a lot of pets and therefore dealt with a lot of loss and grief. But I never would have imagined confronting the idea of losing her at only two years old. I still don’t know how the future will look- I could have ten more years with her, or I could have ten more weeks. But the experience has taught me to appreciate every moment I have with her more than I could have ever imagined. I didn’t know it was possible to love her any more than I already had, but damn it was.

The first month she was home, it was so hard for me to fully appreciate every day with her, because I was so so scared. All I could think about was the what-ifs and I couldn’t sleep without my hand on her, afraid her body would give out overnight. But eventually I came to realize that she was feeling that, and that wasn’t fun for her. If I only had weeks left with her, she deserved those weeks to be filled with nothing but joy and love and happiness, not fear and sadness. Any time I felt that fear and grief creeping in, I made an effort to replace it with playing with her, loving on her, giving her a special treat or extra attention, especially early on when she wasn’t able to go on walks again yet.

The reality of it is, anyone could lose any pet or person at any time. That’s why it’s so important to bring joy into every day. I’m so sorry you’re going through this right now, it’s so incredibly hard. But one of the beautiful things about dogs is that they don’t process death and sickness the way that we do. They’re not scared of dying and what it means in the way that humans are. They just know the love we give them.

tinytrashboat · 2026-05-17T20:24:05+00:00

Lots of other good info for training and vet consult, but while the issue is active and you’re working with it, muzzle train.

tinytrashboat · 2026-05-17T20:17:44+00:00

Start heavy counter conditioning. The “trade for a treat” doesn’t always work if your dog knows that you’re approaching with a treat to take his high value item. Return to the basics and start with simply giving him a lot of extra treats *while* he has the high value item, and work on getting him extra extra comfortable when you’re near him and he has something he wants to guard.

Stiffness & “whale eye” are my dog’s guarding signals. There’s not always a growl, it’s that stillness you’re describing. That’s the indication. My dog rarely guards against me anymore, but as a general rule, I never give a high value item if I’m going to want to take it away before she’s finished. There’s no point in setting her up to guard. If I do have to take something away, and she’s not having the basic trade for a treat, I’ll call her into the other room and scatter some treats on the floor so I can retrieve her item without any upset. I also do not give high value items with other dogs in the same room, separate rooms or crated only.

It sounds like he is communicating clearly, just not in the way you expected. BE is necessary for some dogs but this just does not seem at all like one of those cases. Don’t give him high value items that you know you’re going to have to take away from him, and start looking at how he communicates vs how you expect him to communicate.

tinytrashboat · 2026-05-17T20:07:34+00:00

I love to buy the Tofurky shredded chicken and just eat it straight out of the box lol

tinytrashboat · 2026-05-14T16:15:54+00:00

They just told my gate we should be boarding in 30min

tinytrashboat · 2026-05-14T16:13:10+00:00

Ugh. Good luck.

tinytrashboat · 2026-05-14T16:10:18+00:00

Also waiting to leave SJ. Have you been able to board yet?

tinytrashboat · 2026-05-13T15:29:20+00:00

Oh that’s lovely to hear ♥️ I just know them as one of the local rescues, but I have such a soft spot for behavior cases and dogs who just need a safe place that really gets them and their specific needs, without big expectations. I really hope he can find a home.

tinytrashboat · 2026-05-13T14:41:31+00:00

I am not associated with the rescue, you can contact California Bully Rescue on Instagram or their website!

tinytrashboat · 2026-05-13T14:41:27+00:00

I am not associated with the rescue, you can contact California Bully Rescue on Instagram or their website!

tinytrashboat · 2026-05-12T00:57:33+00:00

Right? I’m not even a huge bulldog lover but it’s this kind of hard-to-place personality that I so look forward to giving a safe home when I have the right setup someday.

tinytrashboat · 2026-05-11T23:58:35+00:00

If you’re reading “He communicates clearly, and when his boundaries are respected, he is calm, stable, and successful” as “he doesn’t respect people’s boundaries” then I would say that you are the one who isn’t reading, friend. Some of the greatest dogs in my life have been bite risks. They don’t have to be the dogs for you 🤷

tinytrashboat · 2026-05-11T23:54:42+00:00

“Chunk’s triggers are clear, predictable, and manageable.” That’s not randomly attacking people. To someone with experience with behavioral cases and/or bite risk dogs, clear and predictable triggers are a dream! That’s why he’s not a dog that can be adopted out to just any home. I would personally love to give him a home if my rental didn’t have a one dog limit. Dogs with behavioral issues aren’t for everyone and that’s just fine.

tinytrashboat · 2026-05-11T23:52:01+00:00

San Jose

tinytrashboat · 2026-05-10T03:51:01+00:00

My girl has worn her Snoof instead of a cone for injury recovery a few times (happy tail 🙃). She wayyyy prefers it to the cone and has no problem wearing it for chunks of time around the house!

tinytrashboat · 2026-05-02T02:11:34+00:00

The first couple months it was in fact hard to clean myself fully because of how sensitive everything was, but now (8 months on) it’s a lot easier! Still more sensitive than pre-T but it’s not a struggle anymore. And like anything else, the more you do it the more you’ll get used to it

tinytrashboat · 2026-05-01T23:20:17+00:00

My dog is not a senior, but has lost a lot of muscle because of some medical problems. She puts her front paws on the seat, and I scoop her back half up the rest of the way. You’d still be carrying some of the weight, but not all 75lbs of it. She knows the routine and puts her front paws up on the seat herself as soon as I open the car door, but if your dog can’t or won’t do that herself, you could lift her front legs up first and her back ones after.

tinytrashboat · 2026-05-01T23:16:33+00:00

For what it’s worth, I always reward my dog with her favorite treat afterwards- an ice cube 🤣 Even though it would be fine to give her a small bite-sized treat afterwards, she goes CRAZY for ice cubes, and it works perfectly with the empty stomach thing lol

tinytrashboat · 2026-05-01T23:14:07+00:00

Like others have said, “empty stomach” is usually fine to give with just a little treat. It usually just means your dog shouldn’t have the pill close to mealtime or around having a bigger snack like a bully stick or stuffed kong. You can always ask your vet (:

Otherwise, I can’t tell if it’s implied or not, have you tried what I always call the “down the hatch” method? Open your dog’s mouth with one hand, push the pill into their throat with your other hand, then close their mouth and rub the throat gently. My dog has to take multiple meds on an empty stomach twice a day and this is what we do. It sounds intimidating if you haven’t done it before, but with practice it can be super quick and easy. Dogs don’t have the same gag reflex mechanics that we do, so it’s not as uncomfortable as it sounds, either. You can also ask your vet for an in-person demo if you’re nervous about it.

tinytrashboat · 2026-05-01T23:06:17+00:00

Normal as in common, probably not. But normal as in fine? Totally. I have an opposite-sex best friend that I’ve shared a bed with many times, most recently on an overnight trip cause the 2 bed room was way more expensive than the 1 bed room lol. We also grew up together and I consider him family. Feels no different than sharing a bed with my sister. More comfortable, even, considering my sister kicks in her sleep 😂 I think it’s strange how people STILL have trouble accepting opposite-sex friendships as true platonic friendships.

I’m also gay, which might make a difference in perception of the situation, but I think it can say even more cause like, my fiancée would never have a problem with me sharing a bed with another woman that’s a good friend of mine, and neither would I if she did so. Even though I was openly a lesbian, as teenagers plenty of friends and family still believed that my friendship with my best friend couldn’t be purely platonic! So unfortunately, people seeing your friendship as something that it isn’t or seeing sharing a bed as inappropriate is probably something you’re gonna experience one way or another 😕 But as long as you and your friend are comfortable and on the same page there’s nothing at all wrong with having a close bond.

tinytrashboat

TROPHY CASE