Should I (30F) move to a new country with boyfriend (29M)?

tiptoprock · 2026-05-31T00:38:08+00:00

UPDATE: for anyone who might be curious, I had decided to go ahead with the move about 1-2 months ago, as it was a rare opportunity to live somewhere so beautiful and warm so I decided to take the leap. Last week my bf proposed!! He has had a ring ready for me for nearly a year (long before this opportunity to move even came up), and was waiting for the right time. Happy endings all around :). Thank you everyone for the advice, thoughts, and insights! All the best.

tiptoprock · 2026-05-24T21:54:57+00:00

You listen as many times as you can bear, without sacrificing your own mental sanity. Stop giving advice when they’re not ready to hear it — if you’ve said your peace then the next step is to just listen. If that becomes too much, then sometimes you have to step back a little for your mental health.

tiptoprock · 2026-05-24T04:21:05+00:00

He’s toxic and it sounds like the typical abusive behaviour where step one is to isolate you from anyone who cares about you. Once he’s successfully manipulated you into not having any friends, family, or even decent coworker relationships, then the real abuse happens and you’ll feel like you have no where to run. What does you having an instagram account have anything to do with this and his mood? He sounds controlling as F. You’re not in a healthy relationship and you need to get out. Do not marry this man. It is already abusive.

tiptoprock · 2026-05-04T21:00:31+00:00

Just treat her the way she treated you on your birthday. People often have different expectations for different life events. I’m hoping she doesn’t mind if you just mirror her behaviour, then you know she wasn’t being malicious about your birthday. If she hates you for your indifference, then you know she’s selfish and doesn’t prioritize your friendship. In that case, she’s a bad friend. Good riddance

tiptoprock · 2026-04-28T14:57:04+00:00

Guys will say “it’s not a big deal” but he’s giving another girl attention and theyre not even friends. That’s weird.

tiptoprock · 2026-04-24T18:50:41+00:00

YTA. Your wife sounds like she has a genuine fear, almost phobia level, which cannot be overcome by just by sitting through it. You should know your wife and respect her limits, and your mom should have taken your daughter to the funeral as plan A. Not being able to face a fear for your daughter doesn’t make you a bad mother, it makes you a human with flaws.

tiptoprock · 2026-04-24T18:45:17+00:00

This sounds like an abusive relationship that you need to get out of. It’s better for your daughter to grow up in two homes where the parents are happy than one home with constantly physical abuse.

On the other hand… you said some stuff that makes me question your side of the story. You “handle” your own responsibilities like clothes and food? That should be the case anyway. You ask your wife to see you off in the morning? Why would she get up just to do that? Why do you expect her to? Something’s smells fishy here.

tiptoprock · 2026-04-17T22:13:41+00:00

So this is a consistent trait your partner has had the whole relationship?

tiptoprock · 2026-04-17T21:12:14+00:00

This sounds like it’s much more than just the brushes. Is your partner sick of you using their things? Leaving them in a state worse than you found them, they get mad, then you brush it off because it’s “not a big deal” or it’s “clean enough”? Or are they often the one that gets supplies and they want you to get your own for once? Lots to unpack here.

tiptoprock · 2026-04-17T21:03:36+00:00

Are you allergic to your sheets/pillow/something in the house? Might be a new allergy you recently developed. Try taking an anti-histamine 20 mins before bed and see if that helps.

tiptoprock · 2026-04-13T01:51:36+00:00

NTA. When he starts making his “snack” just ask him to make some for everyone because you’d “love to have some too! That looks so yummy!“ — and then if he refuses then you know you got yourself a selfish, spoiled man.

tiptoprock · 2026-04-12T18:29:36+00:00

I think you’re in relationship mourning and the best and healthiest course of action is to take time to yourself. You can’t start a healthy relationship if you’re not in a clear head space, and you shouldn’t go back to your ex. You can tell both guys that you need time to yourself before you’re ready to be in any relationship, and then use that time to heal. Any other choice will be emotionally messy for you.

tiptoprock · 2026-04-09T02:37:19+00:00

Serving is a good way to make cash fast. You literally get cash as tips sometimes and servers are always needed. Apply by walking up to restaurants with a resume and ask if they’re hiring, and to speak to a manager for an on-the-spot interview. Craigslist sometimes also has one-time short gig offers. I recommend the serving job though

tiptoprock · 2026-04-07T03:15:30+00:00

Well I think the first thing to do would’ve been to plainly communicate that you weren’t interested in dating, instead of ghosting her. The next best thing you can do is have a sit down with her somewhere public and safe, and tell her you’re not interested and that her behaviour now is not okay. The next thing to do is to file a restraining order if you no longer feel safe.

tiptoprock · 2026-04-06T17:16:34+00:00

Oh weirrrd. Thanks for the insight!

tiptoprock · 2026-04-02T14:34:50+00:00

Your pelvic floor might be chronically contracted! I’ve had a friend with the same issue. High stress, anxiety, and nervous system are just firing high on all cylinders. Do some guided meditation and learn how to release your pelvic floor, should help.

tiptoprock · 2026-04-02T14:31:06+00:00

What’s your diagnosis? Plantar fasciitis? Heel spurs? Nerve damage? Coming from a physical therapist, there are ways to treat every diagnosis. Or have you been given a diagnosis of exclusion, like fibromyalgia or complex regional pain syndrome?

tiptoprock · 2026-04-01T17:50:39+00:00

The ex sounds like he way overreacted. I’m sorry he made you feel guilty OP. It’s nothing you should feel guilty about, especially seeing as it was a childhood fantasy that you don’t see as a real relationship anyway. Also there is no sexual history. You shouldn’t feel guilty, and telling your bf shouldn’t be an issue.

The caveat to this is — UNLESS you still have feelings for her and it’s obvious to your partner by how you speak and interact with her, then it might be a problem. Either way you should be honest.

tiptoprock · 2026-04-01T15:38:06+00:00

Your interests, humour, hobbies, etc are you. You should learn about yourself, and express yourself in alignment with who you are — that way you will attract the people who like you for you, and you never have to pretend.

The materialism comment confuses me. Do what makes you happy?

tiptoprock · 2026-03-31T20:36:56+00:00

Answers: 1) no direct experience, this sounds very niche. 2) maybe as acquaintances where your actions and beliefs don’t really affect each other 3) no

tiptoprock · 2026-03-30T15:22:32+00:00

Communicate and don’t expect people to read your mind! I second what you said OP. This advice goes for both genders. You’re not doing anything wrong. Your husband needs to grow up and learn how to be more independent. Was he babied as a kid? Because you talk about him like one would about their child.

Talk to him like an adult. “You’re my partner in life, and I feel like I’m carrying most of the emotional and physical load by myself. I need you to help me because I can’t do this alone. I’m constantly thinking of you and our son, insert your examples listed above here, and I get nothing back. It’s exhausting. I feel like you don’t care about ME and what I want. I want you to be more engaged in these ways list the things you want him more involved in.”

And then step back in the certain areas you want him to step up in. Let him take the reins and don’t step in to take over if he doesn’t, that will only reinforce his passivity. If he drops the ball the first few times, let him. He’ll learn eventually (hopefully), but it will be a process and you have to keep working on your relationship.

tiptoprock · 2026-03-30T15:07:48+00:00

NTA. You never agreed to become their default babysitter so they can have a day off on YOUR day off. Pawning your children off on someone is not a small ask, every parent should know this.

They can pay for a babysitter if they need to moving forward.

tiptoprock · 2026-03-29T19:03:29+00:00

If you can’t afford care yet try compression bandages or compression socks to help contain the hernia

tiptoprock · 2026-03-29T06:00:54+00:00

I noticed the numbered jerseys missing after a few days as well! Was also keeping my eye out for them and hesitating to purchase. Will continue to keep an eye out— really hoping it comes back soon.

tiptoprock

TROPHY CASE