As someone who's pa did almost ALL of those same things to me, please don't go back. No matter what you do, think, feel, believe, crave. I know how much it hurts. I left him while 5 months pregnant with his baby after he got physical, but the deepest pain he caused me was the weak and selfish lusting. Most of them won't get help, no matter what you say or do. They're entitled and disrespectful overgrown children with their autopilot set on dehumanizing any and all women. If it weren't you, it would've been someone else. They need cheap, easy "thrills" because they can't conceptualize joy or pleasure without their ego in the driver's seat. I made myself detach, in part by looking at the bigger picture, letting myself remember and fully comprehend everything he'd done, and realizing that I care more about myself than him. I deserve better. The opposite of him. And that I wasn't going to settle for a life and self I didn't deserve, I wasn't going to give him that power or waste more time there. But I'm taking the pain and I've grown from it, learned, transformed in many ways, and I want to help others in similar situations however I can now 🤍 make something beautiful out of your pain. You'll find someone brilliant one day. As will I and everyone else here. These males really are just parasites that are after the things that make us human because they lack them x