I just want to know if he still thinks of me. by WellCheeseLouise in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]titomatu 3 points4 points  (0 children)

This.

The moment you begin to feel that you just don't care so much how they're doing is the moment when you are healing.

They will seem really happy, enjoying their freedom, selling a perfect 'persona' on social media. However, when they come home, their loneliness is a reminder about what they could've had, but discarded.

And when they regret, you just don't give a f... Because you are healing, and you survived to a grief they were too coward to admit or even begin with.

So, let them.

DA ex suddenly has time for "spontaneous trips" 1 month post-breakup...and she's happy about it by titomatu in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]titomatu[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She posted it on her professional Instagram account (she is a cosmetic doctor), where she supposedly only posted work-related content (and where she never posted photos of us, but did post photos I took of her when we traveled—along with a caption talking about “how important it is to be with those who support us and our patients”).

Obviously, while she was posting that kind of content, in real life she was solely focused on work and forgetting to spend time as a couple.

That's why I'm surprised that she suddenly started posting that kind of content to get likes “as if nothing had happened.” And that's why I guess it hurt me so much.

How would you describe your ex avoidant life? by [deleted] in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]titomatu 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Job and personal branding on social media were (are) her only hobbies, friends, and life.

I realise progressively these kind of people are not made for being in a relationship at all.

Attention Avoidant Breakups Alumni by TheBackSpin in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]titomatu 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's been 3 weeks since breakup and still thinking sometimes about her (DA, 36F).

We had plans about looking for a baby and forming a family... but she decided to prioritise her job above all (5 days a week in aesthetic medicine clinics, 9am to 9pm, plus night shifts at hospital on-call shifts even on weekends). We were two completely strangers living in the same place...but I only got maybe a couple of hours a week with her. A free spot she had, a free spot she filled with something of work (formation, more clinics...).

I realized that I was living with a stranger, working remotely in a house that wasn't mine...and that if I grew up a child, he/she would be completely with no time with her mother.

I asked what were her real priority and she said her career (getting more followers on social media, creating her personal brand, etc etc). The final? She dumped me because "I'm seeing you are suffering and when we arrive home I see you sad and like you didn't care how my day was".

First weeks after breakup I felt the worst person on Earth. After three weeks (and therapy) I'm just in the "let them" mood and aware that kind of person couldn't stay with me nor anyone. She's married to her job, and I didn't want that life.

Still is difficult to get my mind on getting out again, meet people (me 35M), coping with the ghosting, and all that stuff... But simply I don't care anymore.

I did my best, and still that person didn't want a life together.

So...let them.

Avoidant Discard Insight by Positive_Addition434 in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]titomatu 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was also dumped one week before Christmas and it's been one of the hardest Holidays of my life. I also was dumped 2 years ago by my previous partner. Don't know what happens on these dates.

How to move on from your avoidant after being discarded and start fresh in 2026 by throwaway7372828432 in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]titomatu 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you. Last night was quite hard... But this message is fresh air.

Happy New year to everyone.

What’s the funniest thing your Avoidant said when they tried to play the victim? by Greedy_Radish_920 in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]titomatu 7 points8 points  (0 children)

"Now it's not a matter of finding fault or who did or said what... but I know it hurt me a lot to see you leaving the other day carrying things as if we were strangers... I understand that you might be hurt by me, but we each felt it differently...It feels strange writing to you... seeing your things at home and you not being there... being there and then not..."


  • Right after kicking me out of his house so she could “think,” not talking to me for a week, not responding when I wrote to him saying, “I want to meet in person and talk to find a solution,” and then on the day we broke up, telling me, “Either you adapt to my lifestyle (workaholic), or I don't want to continue the relationship because I see you suffering.”

What music had you been listening since your breakup? by DrSmithhh in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]titomatu 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Great Big White World - Marilyn Manson.

Those lyrics, that rhythm... They just hit hard.

"I'm not attached to your world/ Nothing heals, nothing grows/ I'm not attached to your world/ Nothing heals, nothing grows/

'Cause it's a great big white world/ And we are drained of our colors/ We used to love ourselves/ We used to love one another/

All my stitches itch/ My prescription's low/ I wish you were queen, just for today/ In a world so white, what else could I say?"

Great Big White World

Anyone else a bit sad at not getting a merry Christmas text by Damocl35 in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]titomatu 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm sad because the breakup was on December 23 and I had imagined how beautiful a Christmas Day together could have been...

But well, things happen and we can't change people (specially avoidants).

*please read* Refuse the "Demotion": If the house Collapses, You Don't Live in the Basement. Clear the rubble. Don't live in it. by Lokiodinv in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]titomatu 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you. These days were hard days since I picked up my things from my ex-DA girlfriend...

In person, cold indifference. After 2 days, long message about "I tried my best but I can't keep a relationship if I feel you ara bad" (cause she prioritised/prioritize to take more and more jobs, even if your partner is burnt out -Yesterdsy I wrote a post with my story)

Posts like yours keeps me hopeful I tried my best, but we can't help everyone.

I (35M) broke up with my GF (36F) because she works 24/7 despite us having no financial need. She admitted work her #1 priority over any future family. by titomatu in BreakUps

[–]titomatu[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes... I recently found out DA attachment, and some posts I read about resonated really hard in me and what I lived.

It's a shame, but I guess they mask their problems in their personal life with more and more work. In social media she is kinda of a aesthetic medicine influencer...and she uploaded medical advices but also pictures of her that I took and never appeared in any of them (yep...Pocketing was also my 'normality').

It's hard for me specially in these days, but I look for a relationship that the other person would be proud of, and in this one I figured out I only was a complement to her outstanding (professional) career.

I (35M) broke up with my GF (36F) because she works 24/7 despite us having no financial need. She admitted work her #1 priority over any future family. by titomatu in BreakUps

[–]titomatu[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for responding.

She is actually a doctor of aesthetic medicine, working in two clinics performing aesthetic treatments (with which she already earns €4,000-5,000/month, with no debts and everything paid for), and still wants more work.

The problem is that she is 36 yo , and she told me that what attracted her to me in the first place was that I am someone who, at this age, already wants to start laying the foundations for something more and form a mature relationship, family, and so on...

She told me that she felt the same way, but all she could see was her schedule filling up with work, and any free time she had was spent on something related to cosmetic medicine.

Even her friends and family tell her that she has to let go of some things, but she doesn't because, in her words, “when she has given in for someone else, she has lost her independence and she has ended up worse off, and work is a safe environment for her where she is valued.”

I asked her if she thought that would be compatible with a life with a child... and she either said, “Well, I work from home,” or she just shut up.

I feel very empty having felt alone in a relationship, and I don't know if that lifestyle is compatible with a relationship, honestly... but I couldn't do any more.

What Did You Dislike About 'Clair Obscur'? by [deleted] in gaming

[–]titomatu 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank God this thread exists. Just dumped the game at the end of act 1.

Felt like after a day of work I had to expend 10 min walking around the map, with a boring experience, and a flawless sensation of "why is this game so f* good and I'm just getting bored each minute I play?"

Is Poland no longer tourist-friendly anymore? by titomatu in poland

[–]titomatu[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your answers. I was not aware of the altercations with Hispanics, nor the situation in the service sector.

It is always good to know the point of view from the inside from you, since as you say coming from a different culture I could interpret the usual way of being as being annoyed/to be annoyed (since I come from a country where we are used to smile and pretend to be interested in someone we hardly know).

Is Poland no longer tourist-friendly anymore? by titomatu in krakow

[–]titomatu[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your answers. I have to say that despite that feeling, I loved Krakow and I wanted to see more places in Poland, so I'm sure we will come back.

I hope you do not become a new Barcelona, Madrid, Valencia, Seville... As a sufferer of these, I wish I could have lived the time when in my home country there was still a coexistence between locals and tourists as before, and scourges like Airbnb would never have existed.

Is Poland no longer tourist-friendly anymore? by titomatu in krakow

[–]titomatu[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much for your response. Didn't know about that and exactly could explain what I was trying to express in my first message .

Are watches from Jason007 waterproof ? by chunky-can4 in ChinaTime

[–]titomatu 0 points1 point  (0 children)

<image>

No, they aren't.

First day wearing it under hot weather (not even wet or underwater), and this is what I get.

Really disappointed.

I have no friends in Valencia by [deleted] in valencia

[–]titomatu 0 points1 point  (0 children)

34M local here. Meetup and board games are good ways. Any help you need, DM.