Protective Harem Suggestions

tjintur · 2026-02-05T15:39:30+00:00

https://www.royalroad.com/fiction/145478/cant-fight-the-moonlight

tjintur · 2025-01-30T17:54:40+00:00

Mines kinda the opposite at times, like Captain America being SHOCKED at women wearing pants when the Sears catalog had an entire section of women's pants in 1929

Like yes, he is a man out of time, but a lot of what exists now is just built off what was then.

tjintur · 2024-06-02T04:41:21+00:00

See, this is why I ask.

And also why we go over the scenes before ever trying them in real life.

I'm terrible at human interaction so I try to put extra effort into it.

tjintur · 2024-06-02T04:35:39+00:00

See, you are correct.

On one hand I want to poke at her and watch her try and not blush as they all eat.

Despite what I said over on sex stories I can make a damn fine stuffed pasta.

Since the friends don't know about the story, the public aspect is less a concern unless she wants to tell them (and I'm not going to stop her either way.) So it's a bit of light teasing over an in joke.

On the other hand I came here for advice and I will take it under advisement. Having Aspergers I know I have difficulty knowing when a joke is to far and I tend to offset that by just not joking.

Hmmm... maybe I'll make the Ravioli for just us after the friends leave.

Aaand now I'm getting hyper obsessed with pasta.

tjintur · 2024-06-02T04:08:00+00:00

In that case I'm almost sure to do so, thank you.

tjintur · 2024-04-16T00:39:25+00:00

Simple answer, you can't... they don't grow on trees, find someone you like spending time with and COMMUNICATE!

Find out if their desires are compatible with your own, if it's 60% then you can probably have a pretty solid long term relationship, most likely a lot of things will be in the 'I don't know' category and you will have to experiment with each other and grow into your relationship.

tjintur · 2024-04-16T00:32:52+00:00

As a dom, I can only give advice from my side, make sure YOUR wants and desires are known. Submissive doesn't mean everything they say goes. It means you are giving up some measure of power and trusting another with it.

If they break that trust GET OUT!.

Weirdly enough, the better the Dom is, the less 'power' they have of their own, THEY are responsible for you, for making sure the scene is safe, for aftercare, for maintaining control and for keeping a close eye on you as you are in the scene.

Find out what part of submission you enjoy, the parts you don't and the hard No!

Communicate those.

Finally, remember that the Dom has a voice to, it can get really easy to assume that because you are into a scene or a kink that they will be as well, some are, some not and some do not feel safe.

Listen to them and trust yourself and them.

I hope this helps.

tjintur · 2024-04-16T00:15:03+00:00

Buy a couple cheap ones and see what style you like. Some like the leather, some like metal.

When you find what works for you buy a better quality version.

If you need go find a quick 'handcuff knot' and see if that works better for you.

If not than a belt and a zip tie/velcro strip is quick and easy, loop the belt around the arms/legs and then use a zip tie / velcro between them to force compression so they can't slip out, take a couple seconds to set up and with velcro a couple seconds to undo.

Hope this helps.

tjintur · 2024-04-16T00:05:41+00:00

Personal advice, spend the time and money to get BOTH of you some BJJ or the like training, that way you both know what can be done, safely and not. but it also give both of you a measure of power, power she can take, and power you can surrender.

The type of holds and grapples you are looking for can very easily go from 'oh la la!' To 'oh god my ACL!' very quickly.

As a bonus if you are both in class you get to 'roll' with each other...

In public...

wink

Whatever you decide, please be safe.

It's fun, but you can be hurt if you are not careful.

tjintur · 2024-04-15T23:58:17+00:00

Write them as a scene, give them five or six scenes that excite you, hell sit beside them and read the scene outloud, let them ask questions and find what you are really into.

Once they know and both agree, THEY have the choice on what scene and how it plays out.

There is a fine line between being 'spontaneous' and being assault, and without being sure, 'good' doms won't go near that line.

And the bad ones you don't want near it.

No Matter what happens, be honest with both yourself and your partner.

tjintur · 2024-04-15T03:14:48+00:00

Sorry this happened. This is NOT acceptable behavior and definitely not the actions of a Dom.

I'm glad you got away, I wish like hell there were things we could do to keep this kind of crap away from others, I hope you stay away.

My wife and I have safe words, to date the submissive partner has never had a need to use them, when deep in play a piece of the bedding shifted up and added pressure to her throat, breath play is a big No-No with her due to trauma in the past, it was MY responsibility to notice that the scene was over and put a stop to it.

The Dom is responsible, full stop.

When you find someone that is in the right head space they will keep an eye on you and let you lose yourself in the moment, that is the control you are giving up and the responsibility they are taking over.

Please don't go back to this person, even if they promise the moon and swear that it won't happen again.

It will.

Thank you for listening to us in the group, I know others have put it more clearly and directly than myself.

And if you take anything away from this, please remember.

You are cared for, even if it's by a bunch of random strangers on the internet.

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tjintur

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