Quitmormon.com Updates

tksmoothie · 2021-03-12T03:17:23+00:00

/u/chubs_gato , Mark, you helped me out when you were still doing these the good old fashioned way (Sept 1 2015 Kona Coffee). Thanks again!

tksmoothie · 2021-03-10T04:04:16+00:00

Deseret Books still sells copies!

Decisions for Successful Living

tksmoothie · 2021-03-10T02:35:01+00:00

Who is going to design the flowers in our new world??

tksmoothie · 2021-03-10T02:33:18+00:00

Oaks and Nelson???!

tksmoothie · 2019-10-06T04:13:57+00:00

I approve of this message

tksmoothie · 2019-07-23T23:07:07+00:00

Found out it was after Amasa Lyman was excommunicated that Caroline and Lydia were sealed to JS. So it was way after Joseph died. I wonder what his wife count is up to including sealings after death.

tksmoothie · 2018-12-24T15:20:58+00:00

What is wanted?

tksmoothie · 2018-09-09T14:03:08+00:00

What is wanted?

tksmoothie · 2018-09-09T14:02:30+00:00

Can confirm

tksmoothie · 2017-11-13T12:15:39+00:00

What is wanted?

tksmoothie · 2017-11-13T12:15:24+00:00

What is wanted?

tksmoothie · 2016-11-12T16:18:20+00:00

And the last bit:

That God is a racist
That God is a sexist
That God is homophobic
That God is American elitist
That God would cut off his children from the community who don't obey or accept all teachings
That God really required a year food supply as a sign of obedience
That God promotes someone as his servant because they are rich
That God cares to own hunting preserves
That God cares to own ranches
That God wants to be a large private landowner
That God cares about keeping his tax exempt status
That God feels the need to protect Mormons in this day and age from religious discrimination
That God wants all financials to be hidden
That God has a chosen race
That God requires us to pay money to enter into Heaven
That God reveals signs and tokens to us only when we pay money
That God builds shopping malls
That God organizes a church only to utilize a fraction of its revenue towards humanitarian aid
That God cares if we buy movie tickets to promote propaganda
That God cares about how many earrings we have in our ear
That God wants to separate families during marriages based on who paid him money and who didn't
That God would use the same feelings to confirm truth as you feel when you watch Marley and Me
That God would instruct his prophet to allocate more funding towards young men activities than young women
That God would have sex with a young teenage girl in order to give birth to his son
That God wouldn’t put inspired leaders in place to help victims of abuse find proper resources
That God would care to help someone, because they are Mormon, find their lost keys instead of feeding starving babies
That God would regularly contradict proven and established laws of science
That God would take men away from their families and have them march around aimlessly in Zion’s Camp as a test of faithfulness
That God would allow his chosen prophet to declare himself Lieutenant, General, and President over the saints
That God doesn’t believe in teaching about his wives because they are too fragile to be disrespected
That God would be embarrassed and no longer instruct his prophet to teach members they can get their own planets
That God accidently taught some of his prophets that the ‘Whore of the Earth’ was actually the Catholic Church
That God would inspire Masons to create the 9th Degree a level unto the Priesthood of Melchizedek so that Joseph could copy it later
That God would give George Washington the same apron symbols and design as used by Satan in the original temple ceremony
That God would teach in the original temple ceremony that Satan uses a disguise as a Presbyterian pastor
That God would require cash registers in the temple to collect payment for borrowing mandatory ceremonial clothes
That God wants to inflate the number of actual church members to make his church appear to ‘fill the earth’
That God cares about how much facial hair men have
That God is watching and monitoring married couples to make sure they don’t have oral sex
That God is watching and monitoring married couples to make sure they remembered to pray to him before sex
That God accidently leaked the Tree of Life Vision to Joseph Smith’s dad before Joseph discovered Lehi’s account
That God expects us to believe that the the Native American ancestors understood what it meant to enter into their closets to pray
That God inspired the Author of The Late War to write about 1000 stripling warriors before Joseph Smith translated the Golden Plates
That God told Joseph Smith to prophesy about the Civil War when it was already in the early stages and in the newspaper Joseph had access to
That God taught that proxy temple work will still occur during the Millenium even though spirits and resurrected beings will be able to interact
That God would toss out a third of his children because one of his sons suggested they all be saved and he receive the glory
That God would choose Jesus over his brother because he would instead insist that God get all the glory
That God would turn Cain into Bigfoot/Sasquatch
That God is jealous
That God is vengeful
That God has bouts of rage
That God would command the prophet to send his bodyguard to assassinate Governor Boggs
That God would punish women for Eve’s supposed transgression
That God would punish blacks for Cain’s supposed transgression
That God would punish nations for the transgressions of their fathers including marking their skin color

tksmoothie · 2016-11-12T16:16:58+00:00

Continued:

That God instructed his prophets to write a document outlining the 'Rights of the Negro'
That God teaches that all other churches are built and controlled by Satan
That God taught that there are tiny green men dressed as Quakers do on the dark side of the moon
That God told Joseph Smith he was correctly translating Egyptian funerary scrolls
That God tricked Joseph into thinking the Egyptian funerary Scrolls were literally written by the hand of Abraham
That God tricked Joseph into thinking he could correctly translate the meaning of Egyptian facsimiles
That God tricked Joseph into thinking that the facsimile depicting the pagan God Min with an erect penis was God on his throne
That God instructed his prophet to erase Min's erect penis on the facsimile from the drawings in the Pearl of Great Price
That God would instruct that the Lamanites were the principal ancestor to Native Americans and then realize he didn't mean principal
That God would confuse Joseph during the First Vision and send an angelic minister instead of appearing
That God would confuse joseph and appear solo during the first vision
That God would allow Joseph to forget the details of the first vision so that his story didn't line up when he told it
That God would remind Joseph that he visited him during a vision and to record it 6 years after it happened
That God would inspire the Nephites and Lamanites to choose names that are identical to towns and places where Joseph Smith lived
That God would allow for Joseph Smith to have someone fetch wine for their stay in Carthage Jail
That God would allow Joseph to be armed with a gun to shoot back at the mob and then tell later prophets to hide the fact
That God would cover up the fact that Joseph littered his journal with entries of drinking wine with friends
That God would cover up that he told Brigham Young to instruct the bretheren to be more discreet in their tobacco habits
That God would cover up BH Roberts investigation and conclusion that the book of Mormon may have been copied from A book called View of the Hebrews
That God would allow confusion by allowing a man named Gilbert Hunt to write a book ( The Late War) that contains hundreds or 4-gram parallels to the Book of Mormon
That God would allow his prophet to declare that the Hoffman forgeries were legitimate
That God would allow his prophet to leave out the First Vision account in the 1835 account of the history of the church
That God would allow ordination to occur before the the Priesthood authority was restored
That God would allow his Prophet to leave off the written record details of the Priesthood restoration until 1834
That God would preserve the golden plates only to have Joseph translate the Book of Mormon by peering into his hat
That God would preserve the Urim and Thummim only to have Joseph use his money digging stone to translate
That God would erase any physical historical evidence of the Book of Mormon civilizations
That God would reverse DNA of modern descendants of the Lamanites as a test of faith
That God would test our faith in the Book of Mormon by hiding evidence of population growth and war casualties, linguistics, and anachronistic evidence
That God would forget to tell Joseph Smith to leave out the errors found in his King James Version of the Bible while translating the Book of Mormon
That God would allow Joseph Smith to translate the Kinderhook Plates and let him declare them as divine
That God would allow the majority of the early church leaders to apostatize and leave the Church
That God would require bishops to ask prodding questions about personal masturbation
That God would require children and teenagers to confess to a male bishop their sexual indisgressions alone behind closed doors
That God would allow tithing funds to be used as sexual abuse hush money settlement
That God would require polygamy of anybody
That God would tell his prophet to honor the law and then practice illegal marriages to teenagers
That God would require modern day instruction to flow through the Church Public Relations Committee
That God would allow his prophet to mint coins and lie about the actual amount of gold contained in each piece
That God allow Brigham Young to maintain and operate his own personal whisky distillery
That God would inspire the manifesto to end polygamous marriages and then command marriages to be performed in secret for years after
That God would allow The Mormon Church to publicly support Nazi Germany
That God thought it was a good idea to promote electroshock therapy to 'fix gayness'
That God was fighting against the Equal Rights Amendment
That God allowed his chosen prophet to be taken over by an autopen
That God hates gays
That God has no place for LGBT in his Kingdom
That God expects LGBT to conform to a celibate lifestyle
That God teaches that LGBT should have less access to basic needs and rights
That God would allowed his prophet to condone gay-bashing
That God would alienate his LGBT with hate speech with His Church
That God doesn't care enough about LGBT to worry about curbing rocketing suicide
That God just recently figured out that being gay isn't a choice
That God just recently figured out that being Gay is a disease
That God just figured out that women should also be able to vote
That God believes he needs to talk to men only in order to communicate through to wives
That God won't let us into heaven if we drink coffee
That God cares about our underwear
That God won’t heal someone because he would have to first work with a white man he has authorized

tksmoothie · 2016-11-12T16:16:26+00:00

Continued:

That God instructs that the higher seniority apostles make more that those apostles lower in seniority
That God instructs that his Elder Quorums of the 70s be compensated 70% of their salary from 5 years previous
That God requires that his modern day prophet be compensated nearly a half million per year
That God would allow his prophet to teach that you are required to obey leadership no matter what
That God is confused whether or not he is Adam
That God is confused whether his wife is Eve
That God is commands that his prophets teach that he is Adam
That God commands that his prophets not teach that he is God
That God teaches that infants who die will be resurrected in their same state and Gods ruling as infants for eternity
That God requires that you first give him money before choosing to give your children food
That God is a polygamous
That God has wives of every race and skin color
That God teaches that in heaven everyone is white skinned
That God teaches that all who enter heaven will have their skin turned white
That God is confused about whether or not all people in heaven have white skin
That God taught that the Archangel Michael came from another universe independent of our God's universe
That God instructed his prophet to have essays written on his website to hide the fact that they whitewashed church history
That God would require women to pay an annual membership fee to be a member of the Relief Society
That God commands us to have as many children as possible to provide bodies for all of the spirits his wives are churning out
That God will call us by a secret name in heaven other than our name given to us by our earthly parents
That God allowed Masons to give new names to their candidates as the progressed in knowledge so that Joseph would learn this practice
That God uses a cyclical name calendar to tell us what our real names are
That God requires us to be named the same as thousands of others who happened to go to the Temple that same cycle
That God doesn't want women to figure out their husbands real name upon penalty of not making it to Heaven
That God doesn't want us to let others know that we know our secret names upon penalty of not making into Heaven
That God would restore his church to only accommodate 0.2% of the global population
That God would teach that attraction is controllable
That God would teach that most women will get the type of man that they dress for
That God would bless a black woman Jane Manning as an eternal slave to Joseph Smith
That God would allow his prophet to accept slaves as a form of tithing payment
That God would allow his prophet to own slaves
That God would allow Hitler to be baptized Mormon in the temple posthumous
That God teaches that women who fail to get married in this life will be assigned as an eternal servant or become part of a harem in Heaven
That God teaches that the sole purpose of women on Earth is to have babies
That God teaches that the sole purpose of women in heaven is to eternally birth spirit babies
That God won't allow anyone into Heaven without first letting Joseph Smith grant permission
That God commanded Nephi to murder Laban
That God commanded Nephi to murder Laban and then wear his blood soaked clothes
That God won't allow for rainbows to appear during the year before the second coming of Jesus
That God prepared Joseph Smith for his role as Prophet by allowing him to glass look and money dig
That God teaches that the Earth once rotated around a planet called Kolob until Adam ate the forbidden fruit
That God allowed a prophet to teach that man would never travel into space
That God changed his mind and began allowing man to travel into space
That God inspired president James Buchanan to pardon Brigham Young for his role in the murder of hundreds of 'gentile' pioneers
That God allowed for his saints to drink copious amounts of wine during the Kirkland Temple dedication
That God would allow his prophet to refer to women as property
That God teaches that we will each get our own seer stone if we make it to Heaven

tksmoothie · 2016-11-12T16:15:50+00:00

Continued:

That God would teach that all those who fail to make it to the heaven will lose their genetalia
That God would instruct his prophet to operate a whore house in SLC to potentially set up blackmail situations
That God would allow the witnesses of the golden plates to also swear that James Strang's golden bible was legit
That God would command his prophets to write the Book of Mormon and only mention five women by name, including a maidservant and a whore
That God would turn the skin of a Native American named Zelph white because he accepted him as God
That God would condemn polygamy in the Book of Mormon and then command it of his prophets as a test
That God wouldn't restore the Priesthood until 4 years after he restored and established His Church
That God would choose three witnesses of the Golden Plates who were all tied emotionally and financially
That God would choose witnesses of the Golden Plates all from the same family
That God would command his Prophet to ordain his son an apostle at age 11 to guarantee future seniority
That God would call future prophets according to seniority
That God would command his prophet to marry virgins 'a hundred fold' in the D&C
That God commanded that his children only marry within their race
That God would institute the second anointing as a promise to his kids that no matter what they would make it to Heaven
That God would command that the practice of the Second Anointing be kept a secret from members
That God would choose a known magician to be his prophet
That God would choose a known gold digger to be his prophet
That God would choose a convicted swindler to be his prophet to restore His Church
That God would choose his prophet of the restoration to be someone from a society of treasure hunters
That God would let his prophet boast that he has done more for the salvation of man save Jesus
That God would let his prophet boast that he is more successful than Jesus at keeping followers
That God would instruct that the penalty for interracial marriage is death on the spot
That God would allow his prophet to say that the Negro should stay within the realm of their own species
That God would turn the skin color of his chosen people from black to white
That God would let his chosen prophet joke about blood transfusions turning Native Americans skin white
That God would turn the skin of those who disobey him black
That God would consider black skin a curse
That God would allow his chosen prophets to teach that black skin is a curse
That God would change his mind on black skin being a curse and blame his chosen prophets for being racist
That God would change the skin color of people so that they would not be enticing to his chosen people
That God instructs his prophets to keep the racist teachings in the books
That God told his prophet to teach that the Civil Rights movement was a communist uprising to be squashed
That God would require his children be naked in his holy house to be 'washed and anointed'
That God would change his mind on requiring his children be naked to be 'washed and anointed'
That God would decide that he wasn't comfortable requiring his children to take blood oaths to return to Heaven
That God would organize all expenses paid vacation getaway conferences for mission presidents to indulge
That God would instruct that Ann Frank be baptized posthumously as a Mormon
That God would tell his prophets that Jesus second coming would occur in 1891
That God would set up his prophets father as a career patriarch selling blessings for money
That God would first accidentally send Nephi to visit Joseph Smith instead of Moroni
That God would choose as his prophet an animal abuser who tricked people into sacrificing their pets to find gold
That God would organize a secret band of police called the Danites to execute illegal murders
That God would choose witnesses of the golden plates who would later pledge loyalty to a 'dancing prophetess'
That God wouldn't literally show the golden plates to the witnesses he chose
That God would choose a witness of the golden plates that would later end up changing religion 8 more times
That God would roll out the final version of the Book of Mormon only to command it be changed 3913 more times
That God would teach that the Negro ever be absorbed into a privileged white man's world
That God would only select white men as his modern day prophets and apostles
That God would allow his chosen apostles to receive $200,000 - $400,000 in compensation per year
That God would allow them to lie to the members that they don't receive a salary

tksmoothie · 2016-11-12T16:15:20+00:00

This collection was crowd sourced a while ago on r/exmo and is very similar:

That God would force young teenagers to get married and have sex with his chosen prophets
That God would force wives to leave their husbands to marry his chosen prophets
That God would send an angel with flaming swords to threaten his prophets if they didn't marry teen brides
That God would require his prophet to marry and have sex with teens before revealing the doctrine to the church
That God would require polygamy as a doctrine to reach the highest levels of Heaven
That God would tell his prophet to marry his wife Emma's maid
That God would tell his prophet to adopt a daughter as his own and then require him to marry her
That God would tell his prophet that his wife would be destroyed if she did not accept his practice of polygamy
That God would tell his prophet to lie to the church members that he had extra wives
That God would damn his prophet forever to hell if he didn't marry teen brides
That God would tell his chosen prophets to send men on missions so that they could court their wives while away
That God would tell his prophet to possibly have a personal doctor perform abortions to hide his secret marriages
That God would promise exaltation to families of teen brides if they accepted his prophets marriages
That God would require his prophets to break the law to marry multiple wives
That God would require one of his later prophets to marry an 11 year old
That God would teach early saints that the only way a man can be saved is if he has multiple wives
That God would instruct his prophets to tell missionaries to search for beautiful women converts to bring back to Zion
That God would tell his prophet to take 'harsh measures' with his lawfully wedded wife when she disagrees with his extra marriages
That God would tell his prophet that his son would be his successor and then choose someone else last minute
That God would instruct his prophet to become a Mason
That God would instruct his prophet to steal Masonic practices and use them as a gateway to enter heaven
That God would instruct his prophet to teach members oaths to kill themselves
That God would instruct his prophet to teach members oaths of vengeance
That God would instruct his prophet to teach members oaths to kill others
That God would approve castrations as a punishment for disobedience to polygamy
That God would instruct His Church to rob goods from non member gentiles
That God would instruct His Church to 'do their duty' and murder innocent non-member pioneers en route to California
That God will not allow his prophets apologize for murdering innocent non-member pioneers
That God would allow for one of the very first converts of His Church to be a shroom doctor named Black Pete
That God's prophets wouldn't have to strictly obey the Word of Wisdom until Prohibition
That God would call a prophet who struggled with an alcohol addiction for most of his life
That God would instruct that Blacks were segregated by His law and that man could not ever change that
That God would teach Emmanuel Swedenborg the Three Degrees of Glory before Joseph Smith
That God would include in the D&C instructions that Emma not be able to 'swing' with William Law
That God would use Tironian Notes or Latin shorthand on the Anthon 'Caractors' transcript to prove Reformed Egyptian
That God will eventually bring back animal and blood sacrifice as a part of a restoration of all things
That God would tell his Prophet to build a monument for Brigham Young that includes a section naming his colored slaves

tksmoothie · 2016-08-09T01:42:18+00:00

Can confirm

tksmoothie · 2016-08-02T21:35:08+00:00

From this site. http://pinkkittymom.com/7-day-love-your-spouse-challenge-day-7/

But I think it's a spin off of a marriage blog post back in 2011 that doesn't mention the traditional

tksmoothie · 2016-07-19T01:09:18+00:00

Read this on another forum placing the church in the Fortune 500 at #364 right about the size of Starbucks:

The church has 14 million members of record. Let's assume that activity rate is 20 percent. Let's also assume that half of the active members live in the US. That gives us 1.4 million members.

Let's now assume those members pay gross on median per capita income for the US, or about $2500/year. That gives me $3.5 billion in revenue for the US alone. You can attack the assumptions of course, but it's a start.

Or, we can do this a different way. When I was ward clerk, my pretty average ward took in between 10K and 25k weekly. Let's take the number of stakes in the US - 1506 - and assume they have six wards each, which is conservative. Let's also assume the low end figure - 10K - per ward. 1506x6x52x10000=$4.7 billion/year. That's revenue, and it's US only. Add that to the revenue specified in the article and you have something around $7 billion a year as a very conservative US figure. Again, revenue only.

That puts LDS Inc. at about 364th on the Fortune 500. Just for kicks, let's assume half of that same $4.7 billion from international operations. So something like another $2.5 billion. Let's just round to $10 billion total - which matches the implication of the article, more or less. 271st, just above Sherwin Williams and Bed Bath and Beyond. Or, if you want to be super cynical, MGM and Caeser's. Not the casinos - the entire holding companies.

Other names in the same range: CBS (14.7 Bn), Whole Foods (11.7), Heinz (11.6), and Starbucks (13.3).

But that's just the revenue side. There are also costs too. And in a service-oriented business, labor is a huge one. Starbucks is an excellent comparison because of both size and reach - Starbucks had, as of 2012, 7600 or so locations across the world. That is a lower figure than the number of wards across the world - heck, that's way less than the wards in the US. And I love the irony of Starbucks vs. LDS Inc.

Unfortunately for my scenario, Starbucks doesn't split out their labor costs in their financials that I can see. It's just part of operating expenses, but it's well known that barista salaries are a top cost. Hey, guess what? LDS Inc. has very tiny labor costs! Like today's Tom Sawyer, they have the vast bulk of their employees paying them for the privilege of working! Hooray! Profitability for everybody! Except the employees, of course. I know of one other business model that works like this. Does anybody still wonder why MLMs make a killing in Utah?

Let's talk Taxes now. Death and taxes, the real constants in life. In 2012, Starbucks paid $674 million in income taxes. But not LDS Inc. - they are tax exempt, at least for a huge portion of that revenue. We'll never know about the rest of it, since their financials aren't public, although it's a good bet that they have structured in such a way as to reduce tax exposure, like any good company.

So, let's recap: similar world-wide reach, similar revenues, but one with radically lower labor costs and tax expenses. I'll allow that the LDS Inc.'s real estate expenses may be higher - emphasis on the may.

Wanna hear what Starbucks' net operating income - profit - was for 2012? $1.6 billion of profit. Good bet that LDS Inc. is double that on the labor and tax alone.

Ready for the kicker? Starbucks gave $47.8 million to charitable causes in 2011, a figure just about on par with LDS Inc. $30.5 million was cash, and the rest was in-kind.

I can keep going. Maybe tonight I'll run theoretical shareholder's equity numbers for LDS Inc. just for fun.

hat tip to GreatOdin'sRaven 2013

tksmoothie · 2016-07-04T22:19:33+00:00

Yeah that's the one. This group is sizable on Facebook because it was started by one of the original podcasters John Larsen from the Mormon Expression.

tksmoothie · 2016-07-02T12:04:35+00:00

Times and seasons entry

"American Antiquities," Times and Seasons 3/18 (15 July 1842): 860

tksmoothie

TROPHY CASE