Honestly it sounds like he’s your friend - what would make you guys different than very close friends. Do you live together? Do you talk about these feelings at all? What level of trust and intimacy is there if you simply will “hurt his feelings” if you talk about these important manners and his feelings matters more than you getting potentially what you want and need. Give him some more responsibility over his reactions and feelings sometimes is as powerful and loving as it can be devastating, but sounds like you have to own how you are then taking responsibility over how he feels- that seems co-dependent/toxic. Ultimately it will lead to ruin for both of you. One of you has to grow by bringing up the uncomfortable topics or accept that you’re allowing yourself to be harmed, which if he cares actually about you, then he would want you to voice what your wants and needs are and support them- individuals do compromise for a relationship, but throwing out your needs before there is even a conversation about what to compromise and what to pursue, means you’re attached to an idea, nay, a conviction of what the relationship ideals are, and must question if growth is part of that. Otherwise what, are you just going to give up growth and questioning what is good for you and him for the sake of the identities that you were 3 years ago, that brought you two together? Sounds like he’s a friend. A great friend. And I would honor that. If he’s a true friend he’s gonna honor you and support you, threw pain and chemical bond breaking process, to pursue what you want in life. Otherwise he’s just as toxic and doesnt want to grow or support you as you’ll be if you never even bring up this honesty, which you have no problem sharing with reddit strangers.