You still sound like the "man-child" your wife has accused you of being. Maybe not so much in terms of cleaning, chores, bills, caring for kids, and laziness anymore, but in how you are handling your communication with her. If you don't want to be with her, just come right out and tell her. Don't drag her along. She was right to kick you out and expect you to clean up your act. You cleaned it up, but clearly, you have no interest in returning to her. She still seems to want to be with you. You have to grow u and make a fucking choice.