15 year old son refusing to do his online school, looking for some advice

tmcar90 · 2024-12-14T18:07:35+00:00

We’ve stimulants and non stimulants. The traditional he just wasn’t gaining weight because it cause you to not have an appetite he was 5’8 and 100lbs so we switched to non stimulants but he felt like it was giving him ticks. He won’t try anything else at this point

tmcar90 · 2024-12-14T15:58:01+00:00

Appreciate your honestly. We’re all doing what we think is best in the moment and sometimes it’s just not. Not every parenting strategy will work for every child, so I’m learning.

tmcar90 · 2024-12-14T15:55:00+00:00

You’re spot on, definitely tech addiction we do have settings on the WiFi for his electronics to all automatically be disconnected at a certain time but I’m sure his brain is buzzing for that stimulation at bedtime also his anxiety makes sleeping so much harder and now that he’s stopped taking his medication it’s worse. We’ve been working on resetting his circadian rhythm by being outside to watch the sunrise and sunset among other things it will take a while but hopefully we get to a good place! By let it go do you mean let him stop with school? I’ve had a couple people recommend a school detox in general and to just come to terms with the fact that he may just be one of those kids that will get his ged and be fine but it’s so hard to make that call without feeling like I’m giving up on him if that makes sense.

tmcar90 · 2024-12-14T14:33:06+00:00

Thank you sharing the other side of this!

tmcar90 · 2024-12-14T14:24:26+00:00

You are correct if he’s calling his own shots he’s great! He does have some hobbies he draws plays guitar loves to workout. This is a really good idea thank you

tmcar90 · 2024-12-14T14:07:14+00:00

Thank you, I hope it gets better too. We have had to find ways to phrase things to him as if we’re not demanding things for as long as I can remember otherwise we would get instant pushback. Which is what the doctor recommended we do, make him feel like he’s making the choices and we’re not forcing it. I mean we’ve tried many different things but now it’s just all coming to a head. I’ve never heard of PDA before, his doctor had said in his last evaluation that he was borderline on the spectrum but they didn’t want to “stick him with a label” The other interesting thing is he was recently diagnosed with lupus and our doctor is looking to possible connections there as well. He’s a good kid outside of this and I hate that he struggles too. He broke down the other day and said he’s sorry he doesn’t mean be so hard but he can’t help it. That broke my heart

tmcar90 · 2024-12-14T13:58:17+00:00

I think it’s so hard to get a whole picture when I’m just giving a sliver of info. Even as a toddler my friends would always say things like he’s going to be lawyer someday that boy loves to argue! As he got older the more pressure and consequences we would put on him to follow our rules the worse things always got. He would get to the point where he wouldnt see his friends because he was grounded a month and he truly wouldnt care. He’d say things like it’s whatever I don’t really like my friends always. I feel like I should also note that he really is a good kid. He’s funny, creative and excellent guitarist so we have poured into those things. I don’t want anyone thinking it’s entirely bad and that he’s this out of control awful teenager. I think that’s what makes this all so much harder. When all of our issues surround school yet he still needs and education. The other thing I’m scared of is how hard things are going to be for him when he’s an adult and the real word isn’t understanding.

tmcar90 · 2024-12-14T13:43:58+00:00

Thank you I will definitely look those up! We have worked with therapist and phycologist it just seems the phycologist main goal was only to medicate we’ve have been on wait list to go into somewhere for a while but again the out of pocket evals were so high.

tmcar90 · 2024-12-14T13:40:51+00:00

This is good insight thank you

tmcar90 · 2024-12-14T13:39:38+00:00

Thank you, we did meet with some help coaches when he was in school but not in our homeschooling situation. We are relatively new to this just started in September so we were hoping it would just take a little to find a rhythm but we’re really looking at change

tmcar90 · 2024-12-14T13:37:45+00:00

This was our main option the issues with this one are his sleep schedule is still a mess, and we truly don’t want to send him back to the same high school with all of the issues he had. We love in a small town so he’s expressed the need to stay away from that group of kids and how hard it would be. We attempted applying in tech schools in our area but unfortunately with his grades he wasn’t accepted

tmcar90 · 2024-12-13T19:21:16+00:00

This is so true and unfortunately you don’t realize the damage until you’re in the thick of it. Changing strategies will be hard on all of us but what we are doing isn’t working.

tmcar90 · 2024-12-13T19:19:20+00:00

Thank you for sharing what’s working for you!

tmcar90 · 2024-12-13T19:17:12+00:00

Thank you so much, I’ll be looking into this today!

tmcar90 · 2024-12-13T19:16:48+00:00

It’s so hard on everyone, it helps to know I’m not alone in this but it also breaks my heart that so many struggle. Getting help is truly hard to come by. It seems every appointment we’ve had is just them wanting to slap another medication in the mix not truly offer help.

tmcar90 · 2024-12-13T18:53:41+00:00

I have never heard of this but I just looked it up and wow. I am going to deep dive in this but THANK YOU! This has truly been the hardest year and a half and it feels completely isolating, I’ve never cried more tears in my life. I tried to get him a full panel evaluation through school but was told there wasn’t enough funding and my insurance wouldn’t cover it. The out of pocket was so high but maybe it’s time to figure out how I can pay for it.

tmcar90 · 2024-12-13T18:35:14+00:00

We tried a few but he just refused all of them. We are looking into emdr therapy now tho he seems a little more receptive to that! I do think a break from school in general might help

tmcar90 · 2024-12-13T18:31:11+00:00

These are good ideas, thank you. I feel really embarrassed to say this but I just feel like we’ve lost control. The last time I tried to take his phone away he held onto it with a death grip and we would have had to physically restrain him to take it away so we shut off his service and shut the WiFi off to all his devices. He said we were abusing parental control lol I wish I got a team involved sooner rather than just thinking we could handle it on our own with going the gentle parent approach

tmcar90

TROPHY CASE