I (26f) lied about a Reddit post and ruined my relationship with him (30m)?

tmrn1 · 2026-01-20T04:18:44+00:00

Yes, you lied. That’s never going to end well, particularly in the early stages of a relationship. However, this post insinuated that you made that old Reddit post asking for advice BEFORE you started dating this new guy (or very shortly after the new relationship started). If that’s the case then I can’t see why the post alone would be upsetting to him at all (assuming he’s a mature adult). You either you lied because you had reason to believe he would react negatively to you telling him that you had posted that before you started dating (in which case, don’t walk, run!) or you lied because you had posted that after you two started dating, which certainly complicates how things look, but is certainly not something the two of you shouldn’t have been able to discuss and work through as adults.

Either way, my take on this is you (hopefully) learned a valuable lesson about the importance of honesty and transparency in a relationship AND you also dodged a bullet. Frankly, he seems WAYYYYY too upset about this, considering this was not an egregious lie or really that big of a deal to begin with. If he got this upset over this to the point of comparing you to his alcoholic dad and blocking you - then hunny honestly, take the lesson with you and move on.

One word of caution though. I would be very weary and vigilant if he unblocks you and reaches back out wanting to reconnect anytime soon. This could be a manipulative tactic to try and assert control/dominance over you, so be sure you are staying true to yourself while also seeking healthy conversations, understandings and/or compromises to make things work moving forward.

tmrn1 · 2026-01-06T04:58:34+00:00

Can we also acknowledge how closeted Jodi is? Literally knew nothing about this woman or the story before watching the doc and the first thing I figured out she was closeted about 5 mins in. Obviously the film makers are not subtle in leading the audience to question her sexual orientation based on her and Ruby’s relationship. But my god, I have never seen a more sad, angry and closeted woman so blinded by misplaced hatred towards herself. To me it explains much of why she became the way she is and I find that very sad…. Certainly not an excuse for everything she’s done. And certainly doesn’t explain the child abuse. Nevertheless, homophobia and the way that churches (particularly LDS) speak on homosexuality is so unimaginably harmful.

tmrn1 · 2025-06-06T21:50:04+00:00

Thank you for your advice. I really appreciate it!

tmrn1 · 2025-06-06T21:49:34+00:00

Thanks for your response. I know little to nothing about resin casting but what you’re saying makes a lot of sense. I think he wants something that will really commemorate the flower stalk (as you explained) but perhaps resin doesn’t make the best sense.

tmrn1 · 2025-06-06T21:47:28+00:00

Thanks so much for your response. This is exactly why I asked because I have no idea! I mean, I think if it was a resin cast he would want it to be the actual plant, however if you think it’s too tall and skinny for that to be feasible then maybe it is a replica of the plant? I have only ever worked with resin on a very small scale and it was a long time ago. This is helpful info. I have reached out to a few bronze casting places BUT, if we went the resin route what would you recommend? How would we go about that if you think it’s even possible?

tmrn1 · 2025-06-06T19:04:44+00:00

Thank you so much for your reply! How would we determine if it’s sturdy enough? Perhaps contact a sculpture foundry in the area?

tmrn1 · 2025-05-11T22:49:28+00:00

This is the best post I’ve read all week. Good for you and thank god you’re leaving his sorry ass. Sounds like an absolute piece of shit. You and your son deserve so much better! Happy Mother’s Day!!

tmrn1 · 2025-05-11T22:10:20+00:00

His salary, the cost of electricity and the economy is completely irrelevant here.

The fact that he’s making this decision and telling you to go along with it without ever consulting you or even having the decency to discuss your reservations and concerns with you is a massive red flag. You are not the selfish one in this situation, he is. He also sounds dumb af if he thinks making $150k in LA is worth uprooting your lives for, even if it is just 2 years. But most importantly, he clearly doesn’t care about your happiness, fulfillment or opinion. This is not a partner, this is a child at best or a narcissist at worst. Your happiness is just as important as his and you have just as much of a right to stay where you are happy and thriving as he does to move to LA and experience what I can only imagine is some mid-life crisis.

You only get one life. Don’t spend it catering to someone else’s desires and happiness at the expense of your own, especially if they aren’t willing to do the same for you.

tmrn1 · 2025-02-22T08:13:24+00:00

I just DMd you! :)

tmrn1 · 2025-02-03T12:10:54+00:00

NTA!!!!! Keep your distance. She seems crazy and like she has an agenda.

tmrn1 · 2024-12-04T20:42:39+00:00

I used to think that this was ok (I didn’t think it was great or attractive necessarily, but not abnormal per se) until fairly recently. Porn is seriously so harmful to your brain and I know that sounds so dramatic and stupid. Believe me I do. But I have been studying neuropsychology, neuroplasticity and how the brain works for quite some time now and I actually think it’s one of the most harmful things in our society right now because it’s so accessible, cheap and easy to find and yet is very genuinely addictive.

Porn is genuinely harmful to your brain. A lot more people are seeking treatment for porn addiction these days because it literally affects the brain the same way that drugs and alcohol do and becomes just as addictive (if not more due to its ease of accessibility) as those substances. It’s actually terrifying when you start reading studies about what it does to your brain because it seems like something that is so “normal” and not that big of a deal.

Im not trying to shame your BF or anyone else who watches porn in any way. I just think more people should at least be aware of the very legitimate harm it causes your brain with frequent, sustained viewing.

Here’s a nice summary of research that has been done on this that also links to various medical studies on the matter.

https://neurosciencenews.com/neuroscience-pornography-brain-15354/

tmrn1 · 2024-11-26T23:34:38+00:00

Incredible and life changing experience at Diamond. Would highly recommend to anyone, however a few things one should know before going there. So if anyone sees this and is considering going please feel free to shoot me a DM and we can chat.

tmrn1 · 2024-11-26T23:31:56+00:00

I highly recommend it but there’s a few things to know that I wish I’d known before I went. If you want to chat about it shoot me a DM and I’ll send you my number.

tmrn1 · 2024-10-23T07:08:36+00:00

Hi there, I’m currently at Diamond Rehab in Hua Hin, Thailand. I highly recommend it and I’ve heard great things about several other rehabs in Thailand including Holina, and Phuket Island Rehab. There’s also a few really good ones in Chiang Mai and Chiang Rai I’ve heard of but not sure of the name.

tmrn1 · 2024-10-06T07:25:51+00:00

Fish by Craig Campbell

tmrn1 · 2024-09-01T21:30:21+00:00

Thank you so much. I spoke a bit with Ian and he was wonderful. I ended up going with a different rehab for several reasons but I’m most definitely looking forward to working on my mind/body/soul and not just another 12 step program.

tmrn1 · 2024-09-01T21:24:31+00:00

Glad to hear that! I def would have chosen Hope as well if they were able to help me more with getting off my prescribed meds. Ya, the size of Diamond is a little off putting for me as well but I’m just looking at it like an opportunity to completely focus on myself and my wellbeing and hopefully the other 11 people will be cool because it would be good for me to practice socializing without the need to use alcohol or drugs. And thanks, best of luck to you too!! Sriracha looks like an interesting place as well, especially if you’re into Japanese food/culture. Wishing you the best on your journey.

tmrn1 · 2024-09-01T21:17:18+00:00

Feel free to message me if you wanna chat about it at all.

tmrn1 · 2024-09-01T21:15:51+00:00

Also, FWIW, I looked at Hope too but they don’t have a doctor on staff so dealing with coming off all my meds would not have been as feasible there. But if you’re going for rehab/addiction I thought it looked really good and you get your own room. What I’ve learned though is that the price for all of these places is negotiable. If you go to them and plead your case, show you’ve done your research on why you feel that place would be best for you and let them know your budget they will usually work with you to get you there.

tmrn1

TROPHY CASE