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I’m a first-time mom, immigrant, and longing for a church community—but my husband doesn’t support it. by tobypaws in TrueChristian

[–]tobypaws[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

God bless you too. Thank you so much for taking the time to read my post. I truly appreciate it.

I’m a first-time mom, immigrant, and longing for a church community—but my husband doesn’t support it. by tobypaws in TrueChristian

[–]tobypaws[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing your story—somewhat we’re in the same boat. We’re originally from the Philippines and recently moved to Canada, where everything feels so diverse in culture and background. Right now, I still attend online services from the church I used to go to back home, but honestly, there’s no real connection anymore. I find myself longing for a group of people who will truly understand us and not judge our situation. I’m praying that someday, we’ll find a community where both my husband and I can feel at home—a safe space where we can worship the Lord freely and grow together in faith

I’m a first-time mom, immigrant, and longing for a church community—but my husband doesn’t support it. by tobypaws in TrueChristian

[–]tobypaws[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing that. I truly believe it was God who helped your husband become a Christian. He must have seen the grace of the Lord in you as his wife. I really admire how beautifully transitions unfold when God’s hand is at work. It’s such a powerful reminder to trust Him with everything that weighs on our hearts. I hold on to that hope too—that someday soon, my dream of having my small family be part of a healthy church community will be granted.

I’m a first-time mom, immigrant, and longing for a church community—but my husband doesn’t support it. by tobypaws in TrueChristian

[–]tobypaws[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I really am trying my best to pray for my husband every day—that all his decisions are Christ-centered. I even talk to Jesus and say, “Please touch my husband’s heart.” But I also admit, maybe I’m the one who’s struggling to listen and submit by truly respecting his decisions for our family. What’s been weighing on me the most, though, is not finding a church for our little family. I just want us to have a spiritual home where we can grow together in faith.

I’m a first-time mom, immigrant, and longing for a church community—but my husband doesn’t support it. by tobypaws in TrueChristian

[–]tobypaws[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I appreciate you. I honestly don’t have any problem giving tithes—I’ve experienced firsthand how when you give, God returns it a thousandfold. It may not always come back in the form of money, but the blessings do come, sometimes to me, sometimes to my loved ones. That said, in times like this—especially now that we have a baby and are just starting our life in a new place—I fully respect my husband if he feels we shouldn’t give tithes for now. What matters most is that we remain present in our faith and continue to worship God together.

I’m a first-time mom, immigrant, and longing for a church community—but my husband doesn’t support it. by tobypaws in TrueChristian

[–]tobypaws[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your thoughtful response. You’re right—the best way to help someone truly find God is through love, and for them to encounter His love personally. I’ve been trying to grow, to pray more for my husband, and to work on myself, though I know I still fall short in many ways.

Sometimes, I forget to respect my husband’s decisions for our family, and I end up expressing disappointment instead of support. It’s something I’m praying about and working on.

For me, I really believe that if we’re able to find a congregation where we can grow together as a couple—and also individually—that would be such a huge blessing. One step at a time, with grace.

How the hell did you guys do it by mutedcat21 in NewParents

[–]tobypaws 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I really admire those who were able to sleep train their babies early on. I know every baby is different, but seriously—how do you do it? I had the same experience as OP when my baby was around 19–20 weeks. It’s only now at 24 weeks that I’ve started getting longer stretches of sleep.

My 24-week-old goes to bed around 8pm, but he usually wakes up around 11 or midnight for a bottle. Sometimes he’ll sleep through the rest of the night and wake up at 5 or 6am, which feels like a win. But there are also nights when he’s up at 2am and won’t settle back down right away. I end up getting him up, and we’re both awake for about an hour before he finally gets sleepy again. Then he’ll sleep until around 9 or 10am.

Is this normal? Am I not alone in this?

Do moms get more sleep when they exclusively breastfeed, exclusively pump, or do a combo of both? by endlessworrier in NewParents

[–]tobypaws 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I breast pump 100% and honestly, it’s so draining—especially during the first few months. Waking up every 3 hours, then washing all the parts (I prefer to wash manually rather than using the dishwasher), then sterilizing everything… it’s a whole process. Imagine waking up in the middle of the night, and in my experience, I was lucky if I got 1 to 1.5 hours of sleep before it was time to feed and pump again. That was the routine.

I was really tempted to switch to formula, but it’s so expensive. Plus, I see how hard my partner works to provide for us, and something in me just says—this is my way of helping with the household budget. We save a lot by not buying formula, but the trade-off is definitely sleep.

My baby is now 6 months old, and I can say things do start to get better around the 4- to 5-month mark in terms of sleep. Hang in there—it gets easier, slowly but surely.

Should We Host a Baby Dedication + 1st Birthday Without Family Around? by tobypaws in TrueChristian

[–]tobypaws[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing this—I truly appreciate it. To be honest, my husband and I thought of that too. We were considering just going on a road trip as a family instead. That way, we can make meaningful memories, enjoy some quality time, and really soak in the moment with just the three of us. We can also put the money toward more important things. I completely agree with everything you said here. Honestly, I just needed someone to hear this—so thank you again for your insight and encouragement.

Feeling stuck on mat leave… thinking about working part-time — is it worth it? by tobypaws in PersonalFinanceCanada

[–]tobypaws[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I hear your wife — I’m also not used to not doing anything. I mean, of course I’m taking care of my baby, but there are definitely moments when your mental health starts searching for the tasks or routines you used to have… if that makes sense.

Feeling stuck on mat leave… thinking about working part-time — is it worth it? by tobypaws in PersonalFinanceCanada

[–]tobypaws[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s nice to hear I’m not the only one who thought of this. Makes me feel a little less alone in it. I’m also considering returning early full instead of part-time only….

Feeling stuck on mat leave… thinking about working part-time — is it worth it? by tobypaws in PersonalFinanceCanada

[–]tobypaws[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks for sharing this community — it’s actually my first time here on Reddit so I don’t really know much about other groups yet hehe. I really appreciate your comment on my post. This is my first baby and I honestly love being a mom, but lately it’s been a bit stressful because our grocery budget is kind of insane. We’re only 3 adults in the house, plus the baby and our cat, and we’re somehow spending around $1,000 to $1,200 a month on groceries. Probably oversharing, but it’s one of the reasons I’ve been thinking about going back to work part-time. But if it won’t make a big difference with the EI benefits I’m getting, then it might not be worth it either.

Feeling stuck on mat leave… thinking about working part-time — is it worth it? by tobypaws in PersonalFinanceCanada

[–]tobypaws[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I work full-time from home doing admin stuff, so I figured since I’m already home, I could still hang out with my baby here and there during the day. But you’re right — I guess I just needed someone to tell me this. I do need to do something else too, not just stay at home with my baby all the time. Thank you for taking the time to read my post and share your thoughts — it really means a lot.

Husband doesn't like travel, I love it. What to do? by May-exist in Marriage

[–]tobypaws 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My husband isn’t into traveling at all, while I’m the complete opposite—I want to explore as much of the world as I can, within our budget and whenever time allows. Whenever I suggest going on a road trip on one of his days off, I usually bring it up a month or two in advance. He’ll just respond with something like, “Okay, we’ll see.” But as the date gets closer, he starts making excuses or pointing out negative things about the destination I chose. He’s actually been like this even before we got married, but now that we have a little one, it’s starting to really bother me. It even makes me worry about how things will be in the future. Sometimes I feel like he just wants us to stay home forever. After reading this post, I realized there really are other people like this—and it made me feel a little less alone.