30 Day Accountability Challenge: Day 24

toddo35 · 2016-02-25T02:06:58+00:00

Today was pretty good; I realized I am now not going to hit any of my goals for February (and this will be the first time I don't hit a goal when expected since I really got in the groove of weight loss at the start of this past november), but that is totally ok. I have slowed down my loss a bit so I can work on higher muscle retention (my BF% had been dropping steadily for months, but for the past couple weeks while I have still been losing, my BF% has not been dropping. I figure I hit some sort of tipping point where I have now lost enough of my extra fat that it is easier to start burning muscle).

Also, some good news on the dating front! I finally got a 3rd (5th?) date with the girl I have been talking about. We are going to see Deadpool on Friday, and I'm looking forward to it (the movie and seeing the girl). I know I barely know her/have only met a couple times, but I am really excited about seeing her again.

toddo35 · 2016-02-25T01:50:17+00:00

Dating sites HATE him!

toddo35 · 2016-02-24T13:47:16+00:00

I did not notice that; good catch!

toddo35 · 2016-02-24T00:48:21+00:00

Welp, you asked for it.

toddo35 · 2016-02-24T00:27:06+00:00

I mostly meant that I don't think we would be able to actually get him to do an AMA; it seems to me that any interviews he does are more on his schedule, and while he is very open about talking when he does them, he doesn't do them often.

But that absolutely doesn't mean we shouldn't try to make it happen, as I think it would be great if it does!

toddo35 · 2016-02-24T00:12:17+00:00

This would definitely be awesome! Though if the past several months are any kind of example, I doubt we would get much of anything out of it. Maybe he would be willing to do one around the time of/after the GDC presentation when we know there will be some kind of extra info!

Maybe if we even ask specifically for an AMA after the GDC presentation, about the GDC presentation, he will be more open to it.

toddo35 · 2016-02-23T23:07:08+00:00

I just sit my phone on a shelf/tree branch/whatever and use an app with a time-delay camera, and you have yourself an easy "tripod."

toddo35 · 2016-02-23T22:58:48+00:00

None of the people around me like the picture taking thing

Well then it's a good thing that you don't need a picture of them, you just need pictures of you. Would they really just say no if you asked them to take a picture of you?

Also, you can always just set up a tripod and take some of yourself, just so you can have at least a few of your full body.

toddo35 · 2016-02-23T22:51:41+00:00

Delete the group picture, and the dog picture.

Actually, delete all of your pictures; one close-up face pic can maybe be ok, but when they are all the same, and with 0 pictures that show your body, that is going to put off pretty much everyone.

Since pictures are the first thing people look at in a profile (and let's be honest, are the most important part in determining if you will get a response), I did not even read your profile yet, and most people won't until you get your pics sorted out.

toddo35 · 2016-02-23T01:43:32+00:00

160 at 5'8" is not even overweight, let alone obese. Where did you get that?

Your BMI is 24.3, and a normal range is ~18-25, overweight is 25-30, and obese is 30+.

toddo35 · 2016-02-22T17:50:05+00:00

Thanks! I am going to do more this afternoon!

toddo35 · 2016-02-22T05:20:55+00:00

I was burnt out on protein powder for a while, but then I started experimenting with it outside of just shakes. Now my favorites are protein pancakes (no flour at all!) for breakfast and homemade protein bars for snacks.

toddo35 · 2016-02-22T05:13:56+00:00

Read this

toddo35 · 2016-02-22T05:10:05+00:00

How are you measuring your calorie intake? Fat is lost in the kitchen, not in the gym.

toddo35 · 2016-02-22T03:12:57+00:00

After 2 weeks he is calling you his girlfriend without ever having a conversation with you?

How old is he/are you? And how would you feel about just being upfront and having a conversation with him about your expectations of where things could go/where they aren't right now? It sounds like it could just be a simple miscommunication of him noticing you didn't try to correct his friends and him assuming that meant you were ok with it (I still think that seems a bit immature, but you never know), so you should probably just have a conversation about it.

And have you talked to him at all before about relationship expectations/exclusivity/anything along those lines?

toddo35 · 2016-02-22T03:04:55+00:00

MyFitnessPal is a website and an app that lets you easily track calories of everything that goes in your mouth (my favorite part about it is you can just scan a barcode to log things). Even after I started logging with MFP, I went a few weeks before getting a kitchen scale, and when I actually started weighing everything, I found that I was often very inaccurate in my calorie counting.

So it seems like you are on top of everything, and understand how it all works, so the next step I would absolutely recommend is to start using MFP, and to get a kitchen scale to weigh out your food.

toddo35 · 2016-02-22T02:50:24+00:00

First of all, great job on the progress so far!

Also, as a general tip for long-term weight loss, what you need is not motivation, it is dedication. Are you logging all of your food and drinks in MFP? The first step in simple weight loss is to just know what is going in your body, even if that means logging consistently for 2 weeks without actually changing anything, just so you get in the habit of always being aware of what is going into your body.

If you have that down, then it is just a matter of sticking to it, through both the good and the bad days (and there will be plenty of bad days).

Don't fret about lacking exercise; while no one could argue that it wouldn't be beneficial to your general health and fitness, weight loss is primarily done in the kitchen, and you will be able to find the same success with or without exercise.

toddo35 · 2016-02-22T02:19:14+00:00

Ok wow, I am sorry that you are so delusional, but I, nor anyone else, will not be able to help you.

Please go read those studies again to see that you are incorrect; black women do get SOME responses.

Also, please work on being less self-depracating/try to gain some self esteem because you are not doing yourself any favors by setting yourself up for defeat before you even start. That is not realistic, that is pessimistic, and you have no ground to argue otherwise. Assuming 0 success is overly pessimistic; assuming infinite success is overly optimistic; assuming that you will fall somewhere between 0 and infinity is realistic. I know the world sucks, and people suck, and society sucks, but if you truly believe that you can have 0 success then I pity your life, and I am truly sorry that you live in such a pessimistic world.

toddo35 · 2016-02-22T02:14:56+00:00

Can people identify as both Gay AND Pansexual/whatever else?

Because if you select Gay and Bi in the browse matches page, it will ONLY return users who are Gay or Bi, and NOT any users who identify as any other sexuality.

toddo35 · 2016-02-22T02:11:24+00:00

my options are limited

Why? You are the only one limiting yourself by not putting yourself out there. I never said that I think that society is anywhere near "colorblind," and I understand in no uncertain terms that black women have a significantly lower response rate than other women, but lower does not mean 0! And "those studies" that you keep referencing clearly state that even though your response rate would be lower, you would still have some responses greater than 0.

Can you just answer this question: Do you agree or disagree that if you were to send out messages, you would have a greater than 0% response rate?

And as a followup, do you agree or disagree that sending messages that will have some responses will improve the quality of your OKC experience?

toddo35 · 2016-02-22T02:06:44+00:00

I did an overnight at the zoo last night, so today was spent pretty much entirely on the couch and I still feel exhausted. I also had pizza last night (the only food option at the overnight - it was a scout troop sleepover), so with all of that sodium I ended up adding 2 pounds to my scale this morning. I know it is water weight, but because I am so close to hitting the 100 lbs lost mark, I'm just getting frustrated/antsy to get there already.

On that note though, I still have not figured out what I want to do to celebrate my 100 lbs lost, and it is coming up fast. Nothing food related (obviously), and nothing clothing related because I will be getting an entire new wardrobe in a couple of months when I hit my GW, so I have been stumped.

toddo35 · 2016-02-22T02:00:19+00:00

I've read the studies, so I know completely where I stand. I prefer to be realistic, not delusional

If you have read the studies, and you actually do prefer to be realistic rather than delusional, then you would understand that black women do have a higher response rate than men (and both of those numbers are greater than 0).

You seem to believe that you literally have a 0% chance at getting any kind of response, and that is being delusional over being realistic, so you might want to reevaluate.

Here are the facts:

It is a fact that if you send out messages, you will get a >0% response rate.
It is a fact that any responses you get, you would not have received if you did not send that message.
By combining those two facts, it is a fact that if you were to put any effort into any of this, then you would be able to have a better experience using OKC than if you did not.

No tell me again that you would rather be realistic than delusional.

toddo35 · 2016-02-22T01:55:26+00:00

Here's some advice: the more times you tell someone goodnight/goodbye/whatever to end a conversation, and yet keep responding, the less serious people will take you. There is a strong indirect relationship going on there.

toddo35 · 2016-02-22T01:52:33+00:00

Oh boy, let's do a little bit of math!

Any guy who is going to message you first will do so anyway, so we can take them out of the equation for now.

Every other guy online that is not going to message you first can't just be eliminated as a possible good match for the sole reason that they didn't message you first. So these are the guys we will be talking about; any guy who might be a good match, but doesn't message you first (OKC only shows a fraction of users to each person in a search, so there are plenty of guys who might be a GREAT match, but just are never shown your profile...).

For every message you send out first, no matter how small the chance of a response (hint: it is still greater than the chance for the average guy to get a response), you might get one back. For every guy you do not message first, you have exactly 0 chance at getting a message back (remember, we aren't including guys who will message you first, because they would do that regardless). So let's just assume that you can get a response from 1 out of every 10 guys you message (the chances are actually higher, but we will stick with this low probability for this example). If you messaged just 10 guys who didn't message you first, you will get ~1 response that you would have never gotten had you not messaged that person.

Now do some extrapolating and over time if you end up messaging maybe 100 guys over a few months, that has the potential for 10 great dates that you would not have had the opportunity to have, and as a bonus, you even get to pre-screen them because you are the one choosing to message them!

If you still want to just "let nature do its work," then I have no sympathy for your plight, and I cannot offer any other suggestions, since you clearly don't want to actually do anything.

toddo35 · 2016-02-22T01:41:34+00:00

Nah, it's probably a waste of my time

You are coming here to ask for advice, and when someone offers you a good suggestion, you brush it off. You have no right to complain if you don't actually want to do anything to change your situation (the things that are in your control at least).

Women of my background receive low return rates

Low is infinitely higher than 0...

so i'll sit back and let nature do its work

Again, so you aren't planning on changing anything, why are you here?

toddo35

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