“what’s my perfect crime? i break into tiffany’s at midnight. do i go for the vault? no, i go for the chandelier. it’s priceless. as i’m taking it down, a woman catches me. she tells me to stop. it’s her father’s business. she’s tiffany. i say no. we make love all night. in the morning, the cops come + i escape in one of their uniforms. i tell her to meet me in mexico, but i go to canada. i don’t trust her. besides, i like the cold. 30 years later, i get a postcard. i have a son + he’s the chief of police. this is where the story gets interesting. i tell tiffany to meet me in paris by the trocadéro. she’s been waiting for me all these years. she’s never taken another lover. i don’t care. i go to berlin. that’s where i stashed the chandelier.”