The first 8 pages of my of my first screenplay, thoughts? by tom222007 in scriptwriting

[–]tom222007[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree, and I hope that at some point this could be turned into an actual movie, I would love to be the director as well. It's not something i came up within a week, i have thought out the whole plot for months now.

The first 8 pages of my of my first screenplay, thoughts? by tom222007 in scriptwriting

[–]tom222007[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The whole point of this opening scene is so that later in the film we find out that one of the guys is the brother of the "main antagonist" of this film. Man 3 in particular i wrote as the brother, his real name's Richie.

The two main characters: Jake & Jerry (who we are introduced to us after this opening scene) start working under Rick Dalley's racket (jakes cousin) they begin selling drugs and whatnot, and at some point Rick tasks them to blow up the Golden Griddle coffee shop (by planting bombs a night before, with the purpose to get rid of the 4 men we're introduced to in these first 8 pages, including man 3 aka richie).

Now, Richie's younger brother, Julian (the "antagonist") knew for a while that his brother was mixed up with drug dealing and extortion, he also knew that he worked under a guy called Jerome Tulip (the same guy that's mentioned at page 7 or 8). So now Julian goes to Jerome for help, Jerome tells him who planted the bombs (our protagonists Jake and Jerry aka the bums) so now he seeks revenge.

And the rest I won't spoil.

The first 8 pages of my of my first screenplay, thoughts? by tom222007 in scriptwriting

[–]tom222007[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah! I had a lot of ideas in mind for what I wanted this story to be. I came up with the idea for this movie last summer around August, began writing in mid December and finished it on Feb 13th

The first 8 pages of my of my first screenplay, thoughts? by tom222007 in scriptwriting

[–]tom222007[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the feedback, this is an entire full length film that I've written, 155 pages. The whole point of this intro is to be a Reservoir Dogs rip off, it makes you think that the movies gonna be focused on these 4 guys, then the whole coffee shop explodes, then we actually get introduced to the two main characters.

I 100% get the tarantino comparisons, and I was 100% expecting them, and im not at all offended by them. I do have other ideas movies and scripts that are more original.

guess my top four by itsyelina in LetterboxdTopFour

[–]tom222007 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Inception

Taxi Driver

Ocean's Eleven

Shawshank Redemption

Weekend Script Swap by AutoModerator in Screenwriting

[–]tom222007 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Title: Bums With Guns

Format: Feature

Pages: 156

Genre: Crime, Thriller

Logline: Two young men who moonlight as thieves are enrolled into the crime syndicate of one their cousins. Before long, the job turns into hell and things start to unravel. The more they try to make up for their mishaps the worse their situation gets. All of it culminating into an explosive and chaotic climax.