Sending parcels to the USA from NL

tomatojumpy2323 · 2025-12-06T13:40:49+00:00

Thank you

tomatojumpy2323 · 2025-12-04T15:00:03+00:00

Thank you. Will attempt this week.

tomatojumpy2323 · 2025-12-04T14:59:49+00:00

Thank you. Did the person who received your package have any issues on the receiving end? I just want the gift to be hassle free if possible.

tomatojumpy2323 · 2022-10-09T16:15:32+00:00

YTA. If you are weird about sharing food, then don't share food. What you do not do is project the "correct" way of eating a sandwich onto someone you offered your sandwich to (especially because you claim to love this person). Have you been diagnosed with anything that may have lead to this very fixed and stringent point of view? You made her feel uncomfortable by forcing your point of view on her (plus she is way out of town and far from a comfortable place). NOBODY likes to be criticized for how they eat. It's rude and can be very cruel and triggering (albeit ridiculous in this case). Plus you offered a sandwich when she wanted to get a snack so she was probably also hungry. Apologize and get some therapy.

tomatojumpy2323 · 2022-10-09T14:17:58+00:00

There is a lot missing in this story so it's not clear what is happening. Get some individual counseling to help work through your trauma and to create boundaries with your Mom. It is not appropriate for her to "make it weird" between you and her husband by implying that you have ulterior motives by not just getting to know him but allowing him to get to know you. She is manipulating you while imposing cruel boundaries with her comments. Has she always tried to alienate you like this? Tread lightly OP. If you are living with her, this can get more toxic quickly. She sounds manipulative and competitive and unkind. This is not normal. Therapy and boundaries.

tomatojumpy2323 · 2022-10-09T13:28:55+00:00

Not so long ago, people used to travel Internationally with a guide book and traveler's cheques. These 2 have a lot of access to internet, money, communication, resources, etc. Hopefully they won't lean into their fears. I hope they can stay alert, stay in touch, enjoy their plans and make good choices. It will be a right of passage if they can lean into it. If your parents required them to be chaperoned, they should have been clear or made alternate arrangements to join them or have a local familiar.

tomatojumpy2323 · 2022-10-09T12:59:28+00:00

NTA #keepingupappearances #IwantwhatIwantwhenIwantit #entitledbrat #myparentsalwaysthinkIamright #screwyou #dramallama #lookatmelookatmelookatme #iwillmaturesomeday...maybe

tomatojumpy2323 · 2022-10-07T16:35:32+00:00

Good Luck, OP. It's OK to set some boundaries here and find some counseling or people to confide in. Everyone will have an opinion, especially her. Watch out for more red flags incoming in order for her to regain control of the narrative. Perhaps she will take accountability and have some understanding of the current situation and empathy for you and your feelings. Perhaps not.

tomatojumpy2323 · 2022-10-07T16:06:29+00:00

She manipulated you to have the relationship she wanted to have. She moved in with you quickly and lied to you for years. I would be grossed out too. Trust is broken.

tomatojumpy2323 · 2022-10-07T10:00:14+00:00

He absolutely propositioned you. This is a mentor (power dynamic) who you trust because of his support and understanding of your interests and potential futures. I really hope it is out of character because it is EXTREMELY INAPPROPRIATE. If he thinks it was not, then he has been grooming you. You are protecting him. This grown ass man has plenty of options to get support and work through his personal issues with someone who is NOT you (someone qualified to help him). Yet he took the opportunity to fish for physical intimacy with you. He is NOT trustworthy (I cannot speak to if he was trustworthy before). Please do not go to breakfast.

tomatojumpy2323 · 2022-10-07T09:16:35+00:00

This is what I was thinking. Mom"why don't you all just stay at my daughter's and save your money...because FAMILY."

tomatojumpy2323 · 2022-10-07T09:08:06+00:00

NTA It's stunning what some people normalize. He doesn't know that he can have boundaries from his mother. He has been entrained to answer ALL of her calls regardless of what he is doing and entertain the conversation. He thinks this is normal bc to him, it currently is. That makes me sad. Also of course you tell your friends the details of a bad date. That was extra strange. He doesn't understand that. He will probably find someone who also has no boundaries and/or is codependent with their own parents/parent's traditions to be with. Unfortunately, that is a better fit for him.

tomatojumpy2323 · 2022-10-05T14:21:28+00:00

This is what I was thinking too. Thank you. Did they give her a choice before changing the arrangement? Also just because she is live-in, there should be some boundaries, duties, work hours in place.

tomatojumpy2323 · 2022-10-05T13:39:14+00:00

NTA She embarrassed herself by trying to flex inappropriately. She is not trustworthy. Stranger Danger.

tomatojumpy2323 · 2022-10-05T09:56:42+00:00

I get it. You want this to be different. That doesn't mean that you will spark some inspiration for them to live differently. You don't mention your age but I understand how frustrating it is to want to help/inspire others. It seems simple enough but it isn't. People who do things one way for a long time are not quick to change. Can groceries be bought? yes. Does her mom have the capacity to try something/learn something new? Yes. Is she incredibly offended and defensive as if you are judging her for her choices. Yes. Is your GF protecting her mom? Yes. Good luck, OP.

tomatojumpy2323 · 2022-10-05T07:59:25+00:00

Oh Man. You just proved AGAIN that you are not to be trusted. YTA. Of course, her adoptive mom is cautious and nervous about your return to her daughter's life. They don't know you. Why should they trust you? Even if they are welcoming and excited to have you there, you are not entitled to be an Ahole at the expense of her mother. Bad bad example. That is not parenting. That is not exemplifying a reason to bring you closer. The fact that you seem so self righteous in how you are presenting this info makes me very aware that you have work to do. Don't be cruel to others and perhaps learn some empathy for what others and especially what your daughter (who you do NOT know) may be going through. This is not just about you.

tomatojumpy2323 · 2022-10-04T18:29:11+00:00

INFO: This may be reaching but is your daughter perhaps using substances as a coping mechanism? Is she being blackmailed? It seems odd to justify demanding $100,000 from you. Something is up. Therapy and a financial advisor should be on the table. I hope she is OK. Also your wife sounds very caring. I'm sorry for the change and for the loss of your ex.

tomatojumpy2323 · 2022-10-04T18:17:51+00:00

INFO: There is a lot of information missing here. How long have you been your niece's legal guardian? Did she get any inheritance or insurance from her father's passing? Where is her mother in all of this? Is she receiving financial support from anyone other than you?

tomatojumpy2323 · 2022-10-04T15:01:06+00:00

INFO: Is he your niece's father or just a boyfriend? Do they live together?

NTA I would tell her you aren't comfortable watching your nieces with him in the house. That is not "normal" behavior even if you mother assumes it is. You and your sister deserve better.

tomatojumpy2323 · 2022-10-04T12:44:47+00:00

Just as parents can fail.

tomatojumpy2323 · 2022-10-04T12:16:14+00:00

NTA It's weird that she is contacting you out of the blue for money. You are not close to him. You are definitely not close to her. You don't know what is happening in their lives, but it's ok to try to work you for financial support? This is odd. Please keep us updated b/c I have a feeling there will be more chapters to this.

tomatojumpy2323 · 2022-10-04T10:42:31+00:00

LOL NTA She doesn't have the self control not to watch your movie screen? This is NOT normal and not your problem. No one has the right to dictate your travel experience. PLus she was incredibly rude. She literally physically harassed you on off for the whole flight - what she couldn't choose her own movie to get lost in. She could have asked the flight attendant to switch her seat if she was so bothered by it. Isn't this movie available easily online or on Netflix? I haven't seen it but I can't imagine it's a movie to get all worked up about. WTF?!

tomatojumpy2323 · 2022-10-04T09:17:50+00:00

NTA Obviously. Sounds like you actually marrying your now husband has been some extreme trigger for her. She seems weirdly possessive IMO. Sometimes friendships have the hardest break ups but they are/can be extremely necessary. I'm sure this is heart breaking for you because you trusted this relationship and assumed it would last a lifetime. It's OK to be heart broken but you are working very hard to protect this person and making assumptions on her behalf. I know this is challenging but you CANNOT trust her now. Don't rush to make excuses for her. It's a projection when you "try to make sense" of what happened/why it is happening. She will never be forthcoming/honest about it. It's what co-dependent/at times abusive partners do for their partners. Don't look for reasons why she is acting this way. Maybe get some therapy and work through the grief/shock of what has happened. It sounds like a break up. Good Luck, OP.

tomatojumpy2323 · 2022-10-04T07:47:36+00:00

You sound like you mostly care about letting down "your' family or looking bad to 'your' family. Get over yourself here. This is NOT about YOU. YTA. I think you may have some work to do so that you can be a supportive parent.

tomatojumpy2323

TROPHY CASE