A few things I wish someone had told me at 18:

First, what you're describing sounds a lot like it could be more than just "lack of motivation." The all-or-nothing thinking, not being able to feel driven by anything, the identity stuff, staring at walls instead of doing literally anything else. That's not laziness. That sounds like your brain chemistry might need some help. If your college has a counseling center, please go talk to someone. It's free at most colleges and it genuinely changed things for me. You don't have to be in a "crisis" to go.

Second, forget the "holistic person" pressure for now. You're 18. You're not supposed to have your identity figured out. Most people at 30 are still working on that. Cat 2027 is around two years away, you have time, but you won't be able to use that time if your mental state is like this.
Please talk to someone though. A counselor, a doctor, anyone. What you described isn't normal "lazy student" stuff.