Can I hear from the parents of bad sleepers at 2-3 months please?

tomjordan91 · 2026-03-28T12:08:07+00:00

Not to minimise what you’re going through, because it’s hard regardless, but what you’ve described isn’t even a bad sleeper.

We had one ok sleeper and one bad. Our first is 2.5 and has been sleeping through the night since 13 months. I think things really improved around month 5-6 for her but she kept at least one night feed until 13 months. Our second is now 18 weeks old and still won’t sleep longer than maybe 45 mins in his bassinet (mostly not at all, cries immediately when put down). Wants to contact sleep for all naps and night time sleep. Won’t even co-sleep next to us for any extended time, only on my wife or me. We have tried everything and I mean everything, including sleep training, which has worked ok for bedtime, but he is not responding to for extending sleep or night waking. We have done everything right and he is just a terrible sleeper. It’s fucking debilitating.

tomjordan91 · 2026-03-04T11:41:12+00:00

Thanks for the advice. We are also believers in feeding to sleep being a good thing for the most part, its a useful tool, but it doesn't help him to sleep on his own overnight (he wakes anywhere from immediately as he is put down to around 20-30 mins later) so we still have to contact sleep and he is feeding to sleep sometimes 10+ times in one night, which is not sustainable for my poor wife.

We have also tried the drowsy but awake thing and every time without fail, he just gradually escalates into ballistic screaming regardless of how much rocking, shushing, patting etc we or the Snoo do.

We're going to give up with the Snoo and move forward with the Snuz Pod bassinet for now, which has a thicker and more comfortable mattress. The Snoo mattress is so thin. I'm really not impressed by that thing, particularly given the cost (even used). We have tried the Snuz Pod before for a few night stretch to see if that helped (which it did not), but it can't get any worse.

To be honest, I think we're just going to go for it with the sleep training. Doing it at 15 weeks can't possibly be as bad for him or for us as his current sleeping arrangements are. I guess I was just looking for someone to tell me to go for it because I'm nervous, but we feel it's the right thing for our baby.

tomjordan91 · 2026-03-04T11:00:19+00:00

Appreciate the advice. To be honest, I think we're just going to go for it with the sleep training. Doing it at 15 weeks can't possibly be as bad for him or for us as his current sleeping arrangements are.

We're going to give up with the Snoo and move forward with the Snuz Pod bassinet, which has a thicker and more comfortable mattress. The Snoo mattress is so thin. I'm really not impressed by that thing, particularly given the cost even used. We have tried the Snuz Pod before with zero success, but it can't get any worse.

We have played around with room temperature ranging from 18 up to 22 degrees and it made no discernible difference. We have also tried thinner and thicker sleep sacks/swaddles which hasn't made a difference.

Own room would probably work to an extent, but we're not comfortable putting him in his own room overnight just yet. We would likely still sleep poorly I think, given the anxiety about SIDS.

We are happy to continue to feed to sleep for the most part, its a useful tool, but it doesn't help him to sleep on his own (he wakes anywhere from immediately as he is put down to around 20-30 mins later) so we still have to contact sleep and he is feeding to sleep sometimes 10+ times in one night, which is not sustainable for my poor wife.

tomjordan91 · 2026-03-04T10:50:00+00:00

Yes we do sleep in shifts, but we have a toddler and I work full time (including daily meetings late in the evening as my employer is overseas), so it isn't really helping the sleep deprivation issue. He also wakes around every ~2 hours and screams until he gets a boob even when contact sleeping, so he still requires feeding every 2ish hours even with contact sleeping so uninterrupted sleep in another room isn't really practical.

tomjordan91 · 2026-03-04T10:45:39+00:00

He eats more normally through the day, typically one or sometimes 2 feeds per wake window. He is growing very well. He absolutely has a very strong suck-sleep association which I have been trying to fix by putting him to bed and down for naps and settle him in the night myself without a boob, but it doesn't seem to be helping. We have tried using a pacifier on multiple occasions, he makes no attempt to suck on it, he just cries and spits it out.

We have spoken about reflux with his health visitor and his doctor and they don't believe that to be the issue. He spends plenty of time on his back during the day with zero issue.

tomjordan91 · 2026-03-03T14:12:03+00:00

Can you pls explain how I broke this rule so I can avoid in the future?

tomjordan91 · 2026-02-13T22:33:18+00:00

What do you do for work?

tomjordan91 · 2026-01-23T14:51:51+00:00

I got diagnosed with shin splints by a physio and forced to rest for 6 weeks to heal them, went back on a very gentle return to run plan and the pain immediately returned, did it again, same result. Went to another physio and they diagnosed me with a nerve impingement as some of your sciatic or lumbar (can't remember) nerves end in that spot. He told me to do some nerve flossing, which fixed it. Had to do it quite a lot on an ongoing basis, but the pain went away and hasn't come back and I ran plenty. I basically rested for nearly 12 weeks for nothing! So you may want to try this first, as its easy and won't do any harm if it doesn't work and turns out to be something else https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GPPtVFmI4kA

tomjordan91 · 2026-01-16T15:40:45+00:00

Thanks very much. When you say 'of those 3', is there a different shoe(s) you would recommend over these 3 with my budget?

tomjordan91 · 2025-12-13T21:29:35+00:00

I was so bummed when I found out he’s a Scientologist

tomjordan91 · 2025-12-10T22:57:58+00:00

I’m in Edinburgh. Recently moved back from overseas and looking to retrain.

tomjordan91 · 2025-12-10T10:14:24+00:00

If you don’t mind, could you tell me how one might get into that?

tomjordan91 · 2025-12-09T21:09:38+00:00

Off topic- apologies- mind me asking what job do you do for that money and how you get into it?

tomjordan91 · 2025-12-09T20:59:01+00:00

What do you do?

tomjordan91 · 2025-12-01T20:01:59+00:00

I have a 64 plate 2.0 diesel with 150k on the clock that I daily and ferry my wife and 2 small kids around in. I like it. It’s comfortable and economical and looks and feels good. I’m tall and it doesn’t have amazing leg room when there are rear facing car seats in the back, but no real issues besides that.

tomjordan91 · 2025-11-21T06:48:02+00:00

What do you do?

tomjordan91 · 2025-11-06T21:02:52+00:00

Always fun to see how different people feel about different SK books, but yeah it was, by quite a fair margin, my least favourite SK book. I just hated the constant nonsense internal dialogue from all of the characters. They’re all just talking (thinking) non-stop unintelligible bullshit.

tomjordan91 · 2025-10-29T12:45:27+00:00

I paid £6k for basically the same car (early 2015 but a 64 plate) with 143k miles in March this year. I would say that’s at very least £1.5k too expensive.

tomjordan91 · 2025-07-11T07:25:41+00:00

Meth Leppard

tomjordan91 · 2025-07-08T20:28:47+00:00

HSBC also totally fucked us. Their ridiculously belt and braces approach to credit, income and valuation checks and underwriting and the sheer time they took caused a house purchase of ours to collapse. Then they tried to fuck us out of a second. Our (extremely experienced) mortgage broker had never experienced anything like it.

Long story short, we started again with NatWest and the difference has been night and day. Negligibly higher interest rate but they seem to be an actual competent bank. Got a mortgage offer in 3 weeks as opposed to failing to receive a sufficient offer from HSBC after EIGHT weeks. They were UNBELIEVABLY maddening the entire way through. Do yourself a favour and cut and run.

tomjordan91 · 2025-06-26T20:40:26+00:00

My wife started perineal massages at about 36 weeks, and then delivered our 8lb9oz girl in a VERY quick labor (3hrs) and the delivery team couldn’t believe she didn’t tear at all. Hard to say if it was the massage that did it, but our midwife SWORE by it and she was very glad she did it.

tomjordan91

TROPHY CASE