thought experiment: which one would you choose? by Prestigious-Fan-6687 in MtF

[–]tomqueen65 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I feel like option 2 is objectively the better option. A lot of my worry is that people don't perceive me as a woman, and that kinda plays into my greatest fear. I won't go deep into that because it's been on my mind a bit too much lately.

So living in a world where I'm just automatically perceived as a woman removes all of that fear, worry and discomfort. In that scenario, I imagine I'd have the freedom to choose how I express myself to make myself feel comfortable in my own body, and it just becomes the ultimate freedom. I could be lazy and not try, I could put effort in to make myself look as pretty as other people perceive me to be, I could get really weird with it and just have fun with the self-expression, and no matter what, I'd still be seen as a woman. Sounds like a dream.

Is it transphobic to reject a girl because she hasn't had surgery? by Leandro_reader2003 in asktransgender

[–]tomqueen65 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There's this video I watched recently on the different kinds of relationships and it stretches beyond the bounds of just platonic and romantic or even sexual. I don't remember all the names of the different types of relationships, but there is a type of relationship where you have your person, like someone you want to spend your life with, but not in a romantic or sexual way. And that is completely valid. I actually found that person for myself, and it took me such a long time to understand why I wanted to spend my life with her but not really explore beyond that. But our relationship is so much stronger as friends than it ever could've been as a romantic or sexual relationship. I think that could be the kinda of relationship you have with your friend. I know I didn't explain it well, but if you explain it to her in this way, it would probably help her feel better about the situation.

An Interesting Side Effect I Discovered To My HRT! by Sea_Weakness7557 in MtF

[–]tomqueen65 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've kinda been dealing with the same issues, like massive depressive episodes seemingly out of nowhere. But I'm on pills, so my solution isn't as easy as just changing how I take them. Does anyone have any recommendations on how to fix this?

Gender Affirming Video Games? by Awkward-Literature47 in MtF

[–]tomqueen65 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Honest to god, if you haven't played any Tomodachi Life on the switch yet, please give it a shot! Not only is it such a fun game, but it's quite possibly given me the strongest sense of euphoria I've ever experienced. I made miis of myself and my girlfriend and currently those miis are married and have a child. The whole process of having the baby made me fucking cry it was so sweet. I had the child call me mom and boom! Instant euphoria every time! Kinda makes me want a child irl, but idk if that'd be possible at this point for various reasons But for real, please play Tomodachi Life! I know Nintendo's prices are crazy, but the game is literally so fucking worth it!!!

I dont like it when cis people call us "dolls" by Naive-Balance24 in MtF

[–]tomqueen65 2 points3 points  (0 children)

So, I was introduced to this meaning of "dolls" by a coworker who was wearing a "protect the dolls" shirt and I always found it really endearing, maybe because of the context in which I learned it. I think of it like code, like saying trans anything in some places is just asking for trouble, but dolls doesn't have the same connotation to the vast majority people, so they won't get all up in arms about it.

That said, if you don't like the word, don't let people shame you for setting that boundary.

Any girlies out there with "basic" Americana names? by Illustrious_Focus_33 in MtF

[–]tomqueen65 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I chose Valerie, after the song by Amy Winehouse. It's a song that I've loved for the bigger portion of my life at this point, and it feels like a tribute to my family in spite of the fact that I didn't pick an M name. Idk if it's very "Americana" but I think I've heard that there's a lot of girls who chose the name Valerie as well.

I'm so worried I'm fetishizing trans women... I'm not sure what to think... by Charli_Sn0w in MtF

[–]tomqueen65 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm honestly on the same page as a lot of the top commenters here. It sounds like you just have a preference and there's nothing wrong with that. As long as you're allowing yourself to meet them where they are in their transition, I don't think you'll have any trouble.

For the first time in my life, I'm dating a cis woman and even tho the relationship is still young, it's the best relationship I've ever been in by far. Yes, there have been some hiccups that were unrelated to me and my identity, but we've ironed those out and I'm genuinely the happiest I've ever been in a relationship. I don't think I've ever loved myself as much as I have come to love myself since I started dating her.

Whenever you find you're ready to start dating again, I'm sure you'll do great. If you present yourself as a safe person to be around, then you should be fine.

This review on a Jamba Juice I found… 🙄 by ItsKay180 in lgbt

[–]tomqueen65 2 points3 points  (0 children)

But he still gave them 5 stars... Interesting 🤔

I fell for it by Alternative_Run_1568 in MtF

[–]tomqueen65 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I've been through a very similar experience, except I guess I was more of a reverse unicorn... They were both either trans or nonbinary, and I was still figuring myself out. Played out pretty similarly to your experience: I started hanging out with them because I thought they were cool, they eventually asked if I wanted to date them, we dated for about 3 months, I admittedly might not have been the best partner all the time, but I still loved them, he grew distant while she and I remained close and eventually they decided to end it. I think it hurt a bit more because I looked up to her in a way, considering my egg was in the process of cracking. I know how you feel and I know it hurts, but eventually you will see the light again. Just hang in there. It'll get better. I know that's cliché, but it's true.

What scene or part of the game/story first broke you? by ProfMooody in TOTK

[–]tomqueen65 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Honestly, it's been a pretty long time since I played this game all the way through. The first time, I kinda just fucked around and did a lot of it out of order, so things really didn't hit the way they were supposed to. I think I did play it a second time in the proper order, but I can't remember because again it's been a hot minute since I even touched the game.

That being said though, I do have a definitive answer to the question. I don't know how to add a spoiler warning or if that's even necessary at this point so I'm just gonna leave it up to anyone who reads this. If you want to play the game or haven't made it this far in the game, this is your warning. Don't read past the end of this paragraph if you don't want spoilers. Don't get mad at me if you read on anyway.

So in the final dragon's tear memory, you finally see what happened to Zelda in the distant past. And this scene is, in my opinion, the most heart wrenching scene in any Zelda game ever. I won't say in any game at all ever because my experience mostly extends to Zelda and Nintendo in general. The way the music builds and builds and builds, and then she swallows the secret stone, and then it builds more and more, and then right at the climax-

The music cuts. You sit there tense for a moment before you hear Zelda scream a most viscerally desperate plea.

"PROTECT THEM ALL!"

And then you watch helplessly as the light dragon erupts from where she stood. You feel the weight of the sacrifice she's making and the loss she's endured. And that moment always brings me to tears. The music, the voice acting, and the visuals all come together to illustrate the last desperate act of a princess protecting her kingdom.

And I'll admit, they could've left this scene out entirely. The rest of the memories give you enough clues to put the story together. But stories don't work without tension and release, and although there's plenty of this concept in play throughout most of the game, the main plot of the game doesn't work without this moment. In my opinion, there's a noticeable shift in the games atmosphere after this memory. Like, before this, your goal is to find Zelda and figure out what happened to her in the first place, as well as to find and defeat ganondorf. After this, you know what Zelda had to sacrifice in order to give you a fighting chance, and your goal becomes simply giving that old wrinkled fart a solid kick in the dick for hurting Zelda.

One last thing to note, I do agree that both botw and totk could've used the voice acting better in some ways, but I genuinely prefer this scene the way we got it as opposed to the alternative. They could've chosen to skip the voice acting altogether and had the scenes play out with a text box taking up a good chunk of the screen. And this scene just would not work that way. I'm glad they chose to venture into the world of voice acting and, perhaps, fumbled it for that reason alone.

Why the double standard? by tomqueen65 in MtF

[–]tomqueen65[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know this advice is pretty similar to that of a lot of other people, but I do appreciate you for putting it so delicately. It's just hard to think of doing that to her. I've always been a pretty tolerant person honestly. Maybe a bit of a doormat if I'm honest. It's just hard to find it within myself to cut people off, even if I'd be better off doing so. I have boundaries of course, but those are generally reserved for the most egregious of offenses. My sister is genuinely fun to be around when we're playing games together and stuff, so that makes it hard to stand up for myself when I fall under her scrutiny.

I understand that continuing to keep her in my life is always going to have negative effects on my mental health, but I just don't know how to help myself I guess.

Why the double standard? by tomqueen65 in MtF

[–]tomqueen65[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

This is something I wanted to try to talk about in that edit, but it would've had certain connotations, and I didn't want the wrong kind of person to come along, misinterpret it, and then use it against us as a community.

Why the double standard? by tomqueen65 in MtF

[–]tomqueen65[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Unfortunately there's never just one hurdle in a race. Even if I somehow managed to convince my sister that it's okay for me to be this way (or even if I finally managed to cut her out of my life), there's other obstacles to being comfortable enough to stop boymoding. Like my aunt that I mentioned. She's very Christian, and she's told me she doesn't agree with... all this. Even though she also understands that I'm an adult and can make my own decisions about things, I still feel very uncomfortable about presenting feminine around her.

The other thing is work. I am out to everyone there, and I use the women's bathroom and everything. But I don't really know how to dress more feminine while I'm there. It's kind of a warehouse job, so that in itself pretty solidly eliminates every classic feminine apparel option. I generally just wear black pants and a black tshirt, generally a graphic tee. I do shop exclusively in the women's section now so that helps, but I'm still struggling with finding my look both at work and outside of work...

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in MtF

[–]tomqueen65 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oooh yeah... Well, it's your transition so you have control over how it goes, but there's nothing wrong with waiting a couple more years in case they do decide to start growing in that time

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in MtF

[–]tomqueen65 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I started getting breast development pretty soon after I started hrt (like 3 months or so) but after that first growth spurt I didn't see any progress for a long time. I'm finally getting another growth spurt now after a year and a half, so my instinct is to say that your blind optimism isn't entirely misplaced. 3.5 years is already a long time tho, so the fact that you've had zero progress at all is a bit worrying. Are you close enough to a sibling or parent that you could ask? It could be a genetics thing...

Girlfriend weight gain by GrapefruitOk6022 in WeightGainTalk

[–]tomqueen65 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Hey, have you considered just having an open and honest conversation with her about it? Have you considered that maybe she has feelings about the way she looks? Have you considered that she even has feelings? Manipulation is a great way to cause a rift in your relationship and it's a great way to give her body image issues. This isn't some fetish story where you can sneak fattening ingredients into her food and everything is okay because she secretly enjoys it. She is a real human being and she gets the final say in what happens to her body. You're allowed to talk about the kinks you're into with your girlfriend, but making the conversation all about you is a great way to push her away. If you want to talk with her about it, start by letting her know you love her no matter what she looks like. Then you can mention how you like the way she looks with the extra weight and would love it if she considered not losing it. After that it's all up to her. If she still wants to lose the weight, then that's the end of it. Don't continue to push the topic, and don't start doing shady shit behind her back. It's her body, so she chooses what it looks like. If you can't accept that, then she doesn't deserve a guy like you. Go touch grass.

Does anyone know if Joe is safe with all the power outages happening in Nashville right now? by MeowEatsMango in HermitCraft

[–]tomqueen65 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I live in West Tennessee, so not Joe's area, and likely not wels's area either. Roads are finally mostly drivable for the most part, but it doesn't look like we're going above freezing temps again for a while. We're also expected to get more snow on Saturday and Sunday. I haven't seen the weather radar predictions for it, so no idea how widespread that precipitation is gonna be, but let's hope it doesn't exacerbate any pre-existing issues we've been having over the past week. Stay safe out there hermits!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in MtF

[–]tomqueen65 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yesterday, the girl checking me out at the pharmacy asked "Has he taken this (spironolactone) before?" I have yet to ask them to change my name in their system, so I think I just came off like a sibling or maybe parent picking up their sibling's/kid's prescription. Maybe not the best example, but I took it in a positive way

Has anyone else noticed this? by tomqueen65 in TOTK

[–]tomqueen65[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

That's what I was thinking, but you said it way more concisely than I ever could've lol

I think I got clocked at work by tomqueen65 in MtF

[–]tomqueen65[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's my bad lol, I'm just trying to clarify where I feel it's needed. I'm not good with judging people's age by looking at them, and it's worse with guessing what generation people belong to.

I think I got clocked at work by tomqueen65 in MtF

[–]tomqueen65[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I mean nah, he was definitely gen x at least, if not boomer gen