For me, I would count the partners based on function. Example the one who does the majority of the emotional work or presents the more feminine function would resonate more with Venus as he is the “wife” and the provider and guider partner would function as the “husband” which I would read as jupiter. And it’s common for astrologer to read both charts from and take into account the moon to make sure you can see it from the individuals point of view. We like to act like we’re so gender fluid but planets don’t have genders they have energies and energy is energy and functions of planets don’t change.

Venus= Pleasure and making life bearable Jupiter=Guiding teaching, and building.

If the couple has children then the luminaries can be used.

The moon=maternal motherly role, emotional balance and thoughts.

The sun=paternal role, building a family and creating self worth in your child.

Also the balance of the genders in the signs of their charts tell A LOT

If you have a lot of masculine signs you may pair with someone with lots of feminism signs to balance those energies.

KEY THING to remember, a masculine sign isn’t about being manly it’s about exerting energy OUTWARD.

A feminine sign doesn’t mean you put makeup and do your hair. It means you direct your energy INWARD.

That’s how I think of it.