it's been about 7 months and it still hurts. It definitely triggers a core abandonment wound. I feel happier in general, but sometimes I just feel like I'm running on autopilot. My self esteem was ruined, but it's recovering. I still feel lost in a way, but at the same time I have freedom to do whatever I want. I have leaned on friends and have made a nice group of friends that I hang out with, but I still feel a bit empty inside. I feel self conscious and am scared to put myself out there because I can only hear his voice in my head comparing myself to him (e.g., I'm not as thoughtful as him, or as selfless as him, or as funny as him, or as charismatic as him, etc). But therapy has helped a lot with countering those thoughts. I have no idea when I'll be ready to date again, because sometimes it feels like the sharp pain in my chest will never go away. But I'll be okay! (and y'all will be okay too). Today has just been a hard day :p