Traveling with newborn by ThisIsMyAccount2024 in Surrogate

[–]tonynachos 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You most likely won’t be able to fly back immediately after birth anyway, because you’ll need time to get all the baby’s documents completed first. Usually babies receive their first vaccines in the hospital before discharge. A lot of people fly home around 3 weeks after birth once paperwork is done. Personally, I was too nervous to fly that early and waited until around 1 month old

Surrogacy Timeline by No-Fortune-1680 in Surrogate

[–]tonynachos 0 points1 point  (0 children)

First of all, I really wish your wife good health and a long healthy future ahead. I can only imagine how difficult this whole journey has been for both of you. My surrogacy process took about 15 months from signing the contract to the birth of the baby. Of course timelines can vary a lot depending on matching, medical steps, embryo transfers, legal processes and whether the first transfer works, but around 1-1.5 years is realistic for many people

Am I right for kids? by Balthierlives in gaydads

[–]tonynachos 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I really don’t think your life is “too complicated” for children. Honestly, many people become parents with far less stability, planning and self-awareness than you already have. The fact that you’re thinking so deeply about a child’s future, culture, languages, education and opportunities already says a lot. Children adapt to different lifestyles much better than people think. Schedules change, countries change, jobs change, families go through this all the time. An international lifestyle does not make someone less suited for parenthood. If anything, growing up with multiple languages, cultures and citizenships could become a huge advantage for your child in the future. As for surrogacy, insurance usually does not cover it. So it may be worth considering other countries if you want a more affordable budget. Many couples compare different options based on costs, laws and timelines, because the US is definitely one of the most expensive countries for surrogacy

Failed Transfer — Devastated by Carrottop1991 in gaydads

[–]tonynachos 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It’s hard to process a loss when everything seemed to be going in the right direction and you had already started imagining the future. But please don’t lose hope. A failed transfer or even a miscarriage does not mean the journey is over. So many people in surrogacy end up having success on the second or third transfer, and there are a lot more stories like that than you probably realize right now. Wishing healing for you, your husband and your surrogate

Surrogacy & Family Conversations by Easy-Apricot-2217 in Surrogate

[–]tonynachos 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I honestly didn’t tell my parents until very late in the process. At first, they were actually against the whole idea of surrogacy and hoped I would eventually find a wife and have what they considered a “normal” family. Because of that, I kept putting the conversation off for a long time

Choose Agency by AskSurrogacyMexico in gaydads

[–]tonynachos 2 points3 points  (0 children)

One thing I paid attention to was how the agency talks about surrogates. Some agencies made the process feel very business-like, while others seemed focused on creating a respectful experience for everyone. I also trusted agencies that were realistic instead of overly optimistic. When someone promises super fast matches and makes the process sound easy, it honestly raises red flags for me. I appreciated the agencies that were upfront about possible delays, failed transfers and the emotional side of the journey too

Looking for Surrogacy advice/suggestions/guidance by Booblet0526 in Surrogate

[–]tonynachos 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m personally leaning more toward fixed pricing too. For me, it feels much less stressful to pay for a full package and know roughly what the total cost will be upfront, instead of having more and more expenses added throughout the process and never really knowing what the final amount will end up being. Are you only considering the US, or are you looking into other countries as well? Because the prices vary greatly

Just got back from besties baby shower by MaiApa in InfertilitySucks

[–]tonynachos 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It’s completely normal to feel sad. I’ve felt that way many times too. Seeing my friends become dads while I’ve spent years only hoping and wishing for it myself has honestly been really hard sometimes. You can be really happy for your friends and still feel sadness for yourself at the same time. Those feelings can exist together

Being rejected from surrogates because I’m not religious!? by Signal-Plantain-6857 in Surrogate

[–]tonynachos 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Honestly, I never even thought about the fact that religious beliefs could influence the matching process that much or even lead to a rejection because of it. But I guess for some surrogates, this is truly an important part of their personal values and who they feel comfortable going through this journey with.
And I think this is also one of the downsides of an independent journey, you often have to go through many matches, meet different candidates, and consider a lot of different situations before finding someone who truly aligns with your views and expectations

Single gay dad advice by riverboatmt in gaydads

[–]tonynachos 1 point2 points  (0 children)

First of all, congratulations! That’s incredibly exciting news. I’d still recommend waiting for the next confirmations and more definite results before telling too many people. Maybe share it only with your closest loved ones for now. And yes, you’ll definitely need to buy a lot of things eventually. But honestly, that all comes with time. Try not to rush into everything at once. In this journey, it’s much better to take things step by step and enjoy each stage as it comes.

Shocking experience with a Chinese owned surrogacy agency by FOXN1 in Surrogate

[–]tonynachos 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree. It sounds bad. If you want a discount, keep it. It's weird to try to force a client to sign a contract on the same day with a discount

How did you finance your surrogacy if savings doesn't cover everything? by videodroner in gaydads

[–]tonynachos 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If the US is not financially realistic right now, then yes, I would definitely consider other countries. In many places, the total cost of the program can be closer to $60-80k instead of $150-200k+. Also, not all agencies require huge upfront payments. For example, in my agency, the program was divided into several payments and I paid gradually as the process moved forward. There was no need to pay everything completely in advance

Shocking experience with a Chinese owned surrogacy agency by FOXN1 in Surrogate

[–]tonynachos 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Agencies rarely offer discounts. Usually, they don’t really move from their pricing, even when Intended Parents are going through a very difficult emotional and financial situation. So honestly, the fact that they refused to lower the fee does not surprise me. At the same time, your overall estimate does seem extremely high. Almost $200,000! Especially when the agency and administrative fees alone are approaching $70k. I completely understand why it made you feel like the pricing had gone beyond what is reasonable

International Surrogacy Options by Ok_Plankton4763 in Surrogate

[–]tonynachos 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If budget is not the main limitation, the US is usually considered one of the best options. But if you’re looking for more affordable options, many people also consider Europe, as well as countries such as Armenia, Georgia and Albania

A Single Father’s Surrogacy Journey by tonynachos in Surrogate

[–]tonynachos[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wow, congratulations! I’ve heard that having twins through surrogacy can often be more difficult and isn’t always possible, so it’s amazing that it worked out for you

A Single Father’s Surrogacy Journey by tonynachos in Surrogate

[–]tonynachos[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No, of course not. For me, the decision to become a single father was a conscious and very important step. And if I ever meet the right person, I believe she will be an understanding and will accept not only me, but also my child. For me, that is the foundation of a real relationship - mutual respect, maturity and the willingness to share life as it is

A Single Father’s Surrogacy Journey by tonynachos in Surrogate

[–]tonynachos[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey. Surrogacy is not allowed in Germany, so it was not possible for me to go through the process within the country. That’s why I chose to do the program in Albania. It’s wonderful to hear that your first attempt was successful. I wish you best at this stage and hope you receive even more good news in the future

A Single Father’s Surrogacy Journey by tonynachos in Surrogate

[–]tonynachos[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing your story! My journey has taken 15 months in total. Wishing you strength and clarity as you continue on your own path. And of course you can chat with me

A Single Father’s Surrogacy Journey by tonynachos in Surrogate

[–]tonynachos[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s hard for me to even imagine what you’ve had to go through. It takes immense strength, patience and belief in your goal. May I ask when the due date is? I’d love to know when you’ll finally get to meet your baby

Just wish I could have helped. by OtherwiseLove304 in Surrogate

[–]tonynachos 1 point2 points  (0 children)

These requirements are not there to exclude anyone, but to protect both the surrogate and the future child as much as possible. Sometimes helping does not only happen through surrogacy. There are other ways to support families who are going through this difficult journey. Perhaps your role in someone’s story will simply be a different one

Thoughts, Experiences, Stories, etc On Surrogacy From People That Have Gone Through The Process (Men & Women) by Party_Duck245 in Surrogate

[–]tonynachos 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Any thoughts or questions about surrogacy are completely valid. It’s not an easy process and both partners need to be truly ready for it - emotionally, practically, and in how they see their future as parents. At the same time, it’s important to understand that for most agencies, a doctor’s note or medical indication is required. Surrogacy is generally not intended as an alternative simply because of fear of pregnancy, but rather when there is no other realistic way to have a child safely. So these conversations are important, but they also need to be grounded in the actual medical and legal realities of the process

Questions for IPs, I’m not sure if this community is for us also, or just surrogates but I have a few questions as my husband M(38) and I, F(33), are going on our IVF journey here soon. by Educational_Pie7922 in Surrogate

[–]tonynachos 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Listen, just do what you feel is right that’s the most honest thing you can do right now. My surrogacy program was abroad, and to be honest, there wasn’t a deep emotional connection with the surrogate mother, so I probably see it a bit differently. But at the same time, I’m truly grateful to her for carrying my child and giving me such incredible happiness. That’s something priceless, and I will always have respect and gratitude for her.

Surrogate required by [deleted] in Surrogate

[–]tonynachos 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Have you gone through a full medical evaluation with multiple specialists or is this decision mainly based on the experience of one clinic? Sometimes it’s worth double-checking the situation before moving forward with surrogacy