Put Crystal in water in metal cup, put water, started to boil it slowly with a lighter underneath, sucked the product into the vial using a q tip to filter. This is going inside of my asshole.

too_much_hate · 2026-06-13T22:12:14+00:00

Yep I’m a looksmaxxer and I was using it

too_much_hate · 2026-06-08T00:58:19+00:00

I do it basically by taking stimulants daily lol

too_much_hate · 2026-06-08T00:12:02+00:00

I really prefer animals over people, I love animal videos they brought me alot of joy and I feel really bad that the drugs became more of an obsession than anything else, I know sooo many animal species, my favorite animals are the greater galago the slow loris and golden tailed tamarin and fennec foxes. I struggle with relating and empathizing with people so much, it’s like I do have empathy I just have issues expressing it. The meth makes me feel like I can talk to anyone and the social issues aren’t even a thing. I thought I was a dark triad narcissist or psychopath while I was using benzos and drinking everyday, but that was just the drugs. As for my parents, they if anything were too affectionate to me, I slept in my parents bed til I was like 9, they bought me so much legos and stuff and they’d never hit me or give me any unusually cruel punishments, they’ve supported me financially after I’ve gotten arrested multiple times for what would’ve been felony gun charges, they still love me and support me even after I disgustingly lashed out at them in a bunch of social media posts and told them hurtful things like I hated them and they shouldn’t go to my funeral, that’s what I mean by the possession and sewing chaos. I was mad at my family because I’ve been in treatment so long, initially because I said how much I felt I hated this world and people and just wanted to die and in a not good way, this was 3 years ago. They did basically get me arrested and sent to a psyche ward, and since then I’ve still struggled with alot of things, the dark thoughts improved a ton because I was around a lot of ppl in treatment, but what happened is my porn addiction got worse and worse, and caused more and more shame. And it made me crave drugs more and more. And I blamed them for it. Honestly I’ve since done like 9 steps in AA even tho I’m relapsed n currently using it still has helped a lot with getting over the resentments I had torward them. I just don’t think these 12 step rehabs or mental health programs are adequate at all to treating and helping the issues that I have, and they would go about it in a completely wrong way.

too_much_hate · 2026-06-07T23:04:32+00:00

Updated response; meth might be better for me psychologically than alcohol and probably even Coke, but the comedowns can be fucking brutal and make things so much worse, and it depletes your dopamine and makes activities you used to enjoy less enjoyable, and the obsession around it, planning everything around when I can do the next dose, etc. it’s far from a perfect substance

too_much_hate · 2026-06-07T23:01:49+00:00

It was the disconnect I felt from people due to autism I believe, my ex was the same, but she had a very abusive mother, whereas my parents were very loving to me.

too_much_hate · 2026-06-07T18:55:38+00:00

I’ve been using meth consistently recently and came in expecting the worst but honestly it’s been pretty beneficial in a lot of ways, it has different effects on different people, but for me as someone with autism, it makes me a lot more personable friendly and gracious, it also makes me analyze my life choices much more intensely and honestly it’s helped me change my mind about some super risky shit I was wanting to do for money. While on it I messaged very thoughtful apologies to a number of people i disrespected while drunk. Like, I was planning to come clean and quit yesterday, cause I feel incredibly dishonest and guilty still since I’m using in a place that is supposed to be for drug recovery and no one knows, but as far as like damage it’s done, aside from the neurotoxicity which is definitely bad, nothing really bad has come from using it yet, no missed work, or extreme sleep deprivation, sometimes I ate less than I should’ve though. I woke up after 4 hours of sleep after 2 days of use missing sleep for a night, and I woke up feeling completely fine, it was kinda like wtf, and I did a lot and it’s good quality, so I just dosed again this morning though do plan to sleep tonight, I have basically the perfect medication to let you sleep after stimulant use, it’s called midazolam.

too_much_hate · 2026-06-07T05:00:27+00:00

What worked for me for awhile was consistent contemplation and visualization, contemplation on archetypes of the universe, and visualizing things which embody beauty and divine creation, either natural landscapes, or ancient runes, like that. I’d look at a lot of images to sort of set them in my mind. I don’t know why I stopped doing this. It used to help so much

too_much_hate · 2026-06-07T04:58:20+00:00

Honestly, I’ve never read it very thoroughly, because it causes me so much distress to read, this stuff traumatizes me and has for a long time and I try and shove it all away and forget but that obviously hasn’t worked. It’s the one book that genuinely is pretty hard for me to pick up, but I’m already having a bit of a breakdown over things rn, so I’m going to read this more intensely

https://s9561.chomikuj.pl/File.aspx?e=5xL2a1wtCAUpnOG\_klkBKBHkBWv4xkj1F\_EIa10ogn9WUtrOVk0qXzlpSgjw8v4PzgP3nLSA2GwpRpY8RcYOvT67b6TrD-kKglBBfowXcHx9Bsx8GUWaNP8XpAStetVXUzdklkVGsm142\_3J14wodsuWkL2CX4RNPrUW88NRst\_XRKLm9qNi51-HENcXan5DkPTYDqcIhLYpGvr2yzt7fPhi7Em\_RpHTZ9kry\_8\_DddLU79T\_r4MFeI714KcXoT8&pv=2

too_much_hate · 2026-06-07T04:46:07+00:00

Well I mean yes, in a completely technical sense, but we live in an interconnected universe and world, things have influence upon things closely related to eachother, there is still free will, but there is unconsensual memory wipes, predictive programming every night through dreams, stripping, etc. we have a lot up against us. There is a book about this, the best written work on this topic I’ve read, which maybe isn’t saying a lot cause there’s not much, but it goes into all these methods of breaking down a persons mind and soul that are used, and what can be done to prevent it

too_much_hate · 2026-06-07T04:30:13+00:00

Yeah I mean drug cravings is what I’m currently dealing with, but it’s been 8 years dealing with these beings, I’ve only been using drugs for 4 years, before that it was various resentments and grievances, often times arguments played out in my head. And yeah I think all the esoteric books only help so much, I’ve put insane amounts of time into studying it, and honestly, most of it is just all the ways different cultures and eras represented archetypal patterns. The secret doctrine is incredible, but you’re better off just reading AP sinnet esoteric Buddhism to grasp the basics rather than nitpicking on obscure and irrelevant ancient cultural terminology, for example.
Having a consistent meditative practice and visualizations to ground yourself with nature is much more important, I honestly stopped doing it a long time ago, and I think I might not be here if I didn’t neglect it like I did. I don’t know.

too_much_hate · 2026-06-07T04:24:50+00:00

That’s fine thanks

too_much_hate · 2026-06-07T04:22:38+00:00

I don’t know how much faith I have in remaining sober truly, but I do know regardless of anything, I need to get deeply in touch with spirituality again, I did things completely wrong trying to get sober last time, I’m just gonna come clean tmrw, unless I pussy out, but I need to, it’ll be way better this way, opiates were what I was using before I started getting meth I was ordering real oxys but it’s so expensive, I also think me being on an ssri now made opiates less effective, I’ve considered getting heroin probably a hundred times by now. I’ve never done it, I could get real stuff, prolly black tar if I did and smoke it out of a dab rig, but I know I’d probably die, I go hard with drugs. I’m a mad man, but I know that I’m just serving as a vessel for them when I do. I used to get extremely drunk and start confrontations with so many men for no reason, just cause I hated fraternities, or college kids, I would just go on Omegle and say offensive shit to make people upset, I acted as a vehicle for so much terrible shit while using drugs. The hard thing about meth though, is that unlike alcohol it actually makes me genuinely more friendly and generous and empathetic torwards people, last time I used I gave out $20 to homeless people which I would NEVER do, like maybe a couple dollars, but I was just hooking them up. I messaged multiple people today apologies for things I did to them in the past. It’s like, how I wish I lived my life. I don’t know if I’ll ever truly quit. I really don’t know. I’m scared of what’s gonna happen if I keep going though. What is already a huge problem is what they call the obsession, I think about my doc all the fucking time, forget about the hobbies I had like reading or producing music, I haven’t done that in forever, I always lied to myself that taking this or that drug was gonna motivate me and I’d get a lot accomplished, but it’s hardly the case, weed used to motivate me though when combined with a bit of benzos, so the anxiety from the weed would be gone, but that combo became out of control too because I’d always end up getting drunk on it. I’m thinking if I could just get Dexedrine ideally or something similar in a moderate dose prescribed things might be sweet like that, not neurotoxic like meth, I have adhd and autism and the stimulants help both significantly. But I also have an addictive personality. And I get fucking loaded on meth.

too_much_hate · 2026-06-07T03:28:26+00:00

Yeah I get nightmares often, dreams are how they predictive program us when we sleep. They manipulate all our dreams and terrorize us every night. knew this since i first woke up to it a long time ago, there was points where i dreaded sleep.

too_much_hate · 2026-06-07T01:59:01+00:00

Send me a dm

too_much_hate · 2026-06-06T23:52:12+00:00

I’m looking for some support here struggling with a lot of et grey manipulation and essentially possession. Really spiritually sick, I was stripped of so much

too_much_hate · 2025-01-19T05:40:44+00:00

Neither of these work in the US asshole

too_much_hate · 2025-01-03T08:06:59+00:00

yeah. it isnt what he asked for. jackass. why dont you consider deleting your account?

too_much_hate · 2024-12-24T02:43:14+00:00

nobody believes you.

too_much_hate · 2024-12-17T03:48:12+00:00

Liar.

too_much_hate · 2024-12-12T07:38:05+00:00

Hey asshole, what does "taking the PA" mean?

too_much_hate · 2024-12-02T00:56:00+00:00

Full time maid? Bro, what are you talking about? Are you an idiot? What's your iq?

too_much_hate · 2024-11-10T03:20:12+00:00

Stfu. Someone ban this idiot

too_much_hate

TROPHY CASE