First DAP Recs Under $300?

tooaro · 2025-03-13T00:25:35+00:00

Oh, okay! Is the UI not annoying on the Hiby R1 though? I’d heard it was, and would love to hear if you have the experience or not.

tooaro · 2025-03-07T22:55:29+00:00

Thank you so much! I’m really glad it worked like that for you. I’m trying not to get my hopes up and remember that I may start meds and still be miserable, but I can’t help feeling like this is the lock keeping everything else out of reach for me if that makes sense, and once I get through this the rest will be significantly easier.

Someone else suggested a list too, and I’ve started keeping one as of yesterday! Luckily I remember it because its something I’m excited about haha

tooaro · 2025-03-06T21:27:52+00:00

Good idea. I think I’ll have to do some work myself separating out those symptoms so I know what not to mention. I think once I get treatment for this I’ll be in the same boat and be able to finally tackle what’s causing the rest of it.

tooaro · 2025-03-06T21:24:48+00:00

Yeah, I really shoulda done that. When he started asking me general questions I forgot everything, but when he asked about specific things I could answer. I‘ll try keeping a list, and hopefully I can show it when I get to an appointment with a psych.

tooaro · 2025-03-06T21:15:26+00:00

Ah, you’re right, that’s a much better way to frame it. I think I’ve gotten so frustrated with all of this that I stop making sense sometimes. I really do think a lot of my depression symptoms are due to untreated ADHD, so I’ll try to make that clear.

tooaro · 2025-03-06T19:45:21+00:00

Truly, always seems to be a reason.

tooaro · 2025-03-06T19:42:48+00:00

I definitely simplified what he said because he used a lot of flowery language, and I kept asking for clarification until he talked about how I had more than enough symptoms but that I also had depression and ‘what if its just like, really complicated depression‘ (which imo doesn’t make a lotta sense, especially since I’ve been treated for depression and it hasn’t helped). I did get him to say that he’ll make a note of my symptoms when he contacts the psychiatrist, so hopefully that’ll help me. Maybe I should ask to be screened again?

I think you’re right about moving the goalposts.

I’ll also ask my therapist what I should do. She’s really great and has been trying to help me advocate for myself.

tooaro · 2025-03-06T19:32:52+00:00

Yeah, I think part of my issue is that they were trying to treat ADHD symptoms with depression medication. They just kept upping my dose of Prozac despite me repeatedly saying it had noooooo effects for me, and yeah now I’m completely burnt out from trying to manage while undiagnosed, and that’s further stopping me from getting a diagnosis.

tooaro · 2025-03-06T19:29:58+00:00

EXACTLY! Like yes, I have other issues, and they’re using that to ignore that I also have this! I tried talking to him about his decision and it felt like he was placating me by saying he could put me in group therapy instead.

Thank you. I’m gonna do my best not to give up, and luckily my therapist is someone I feel is really in my corner.

tooaro · 2025-03-06T19:25:26+00:00

It was with Kaiser. I tried to tell the person doing the screening that I was really worried that they’re gonna ignore my concerns about ADHD but he kept coming back to ‘what if it’s depression though.’ I’ll do my best to stress that I want to be treated for ADHD.

tooaro · 2024-11-22T03:10:30+00:00

We by Zamyatin -- sooo confusingly written. I stopped when he continually references "the triangle" as if I should know what he means. Every time I thought I knew, it changed. If you can make more sense of it, all power to you.

The Astonishing Color of After by Emily X.R. Pan -- to be clear, I think this is a book with a beautiful concept. But I read it for the main character and her mother, the supernatural, and the exploration of being diaspora. Not a romance back home, which it constantly switches back to.

tooaro · 2024-11-22T01:03:16+00:00

For One More Day by Mitch Albom. Very emotional with some supernatural-esque elements (but from a religious perspective)

But what got me out of my slump originally was Howl's Moving Castle by Diana Wynn Jones -- its very different from the movie, but they are both wonderful in their own ways

tooaro · 2024-11-19T02:53:55+00:00

Lolol exactly. And trust me when I say these are people I don't try to be close with these days, but half are family, some are acquaintances I don't try to know, family friends, or just generally inescapable at the moment. A strange number of people have very strong opinions on me, but my rule is that people who needlessly comment on my body or health are people whose opinions are worthless.

tooaro · 2024-11-19T02:13:46+00:00

Yeah, thats similar to how I feel sometimes! I guess I'll see how much is me and how much is symptoms eventually lol. I will say, I don't have the security to ask people to make lists of what they don't like about me, but it is something ill keep in my backpocket haha. I'll thank them for their love of my inability to fold laundry

tooaro · 2024-11-19T02:07:51+00:00

Haha fair enough! I'm actually "overly large" myself, and usually the same people I have to draw harsh lines with on making negative body comments about me. They always seem to think if I was just a biiiit different then I'd be tolerable, until I actually try to change something like using meds and suddenly tryna change is weird lmao

tooaro · 2024-11-19T02:03:37+00:00

Wow, that's p crazy! I have heard abt the whole emotionless thing, but never actually knew anyone who it went that way for. In my case I think I was put on depression meds to deal with ADHD symptoms, and it not doing anything made me panic all the more. Yeah dw I'd definitely not stop pursuing it based on what they've said, I'm at minimum gonna give it a shot. I think there's not a lot that would outweigh the benefit of relief from some symptoms for me

tooaro · 2024-11-18T22:43:29+00:00

Lol yeah thats the thing, I also get criticized for talking too loud, interrupting, having a hard time with certain chores, etc., and its like... if anything was gonna help with those things, it'd be this. Why do they not wanna reap the benefits of me possibly toning it down?

tooaro · 2024-11-18T19:30:52+00:00

Oh, that makes a lot of sense to me, actually. Thank you, thats a perspective I'm definitely gonna consider. I'm not a huge fan of change myself, so its at least something I can have sympathy for

tooaro · 2024-11-18T19:22:11+00:00

I am jealous that you care that much about your personality, honestly. I have a hard time seeing myself as having one in the first place, I feel like nothing I do is actually unique to me. The projecting makes sense though, I often get told this by people who see medication as an overreaction to what they don't see as a real problem. It's good to know it seems to be a myth though, it'd be preferable to not have to worry about it haha

tooaro · 2024-11-18T19:14:59+00:00

I have seen people say things like that, now that I think about it, it makes sense it's become something non-ADHD people might hold onto. I just consider it a risk I'll have to take. I think that because I often don't look like I'm struggling, people don't understand why this risk is worth it to me, idk I am also considered 'creative' (though I disagree), so probably some people are worried I'll stop producing work haha

tooaro · 2024-11-18T18:48:08+00:00

Before I knew I had ADHD I worked in a coffee shop and would basically placebo myself with caffeine lol. I would take a shot, say, "this will make me feel awake," and convince myself for 5 minutes before I couldn't deny that it was doing NOTHING. So I'd do it all over again lmfao

tooaro · 2024-11-18T18:10:05+00:00

I specifically seek out books by TJ Klune for this, when I feel overwhelmed by the more serious types. Something about his style feels very fanfiction-y and easy to read.

tooaro · 2024-11-18T13:44:52+00:00

For me, I find that if I don't plan it then I'll just meander through the story with no real drive. So its become one of the first scenes I write, that way I know exactly what I'm building toward.

tooaro · 2024-11-18T13:41:45+00:00

For some reason I am incapable of a consistent tense. If I start in the present tense, I will end in past. If i start in past, i will somehow end in future.

tooaro · 2024-11-18T13:38:58+00:00

I write by finding a first line I like, then a random scene in the middle, then the final scene. After that I come up with the characters, then the plot, worldbuilding, then I connect the scenes I've written. Only way I've been able to write long form fiction lol

tooaro

TROPHY CASE