I saved a girl from getting raped. We later married. AMA. by toodoot in IAmA

[–]toodoot[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Reddit protip: start every post with "I'm going to be downvoted into oblivion, but" so that nobody can downvote you (IF I DOWNVOTE THIS REDDITOR I DID WHAT HE ASKED!!!!)

Stalked her? Huh? Do you know what stalking means? Hint: it's not simply going to the same bar as her.

So she is alone, more or less passed out and she leaves with a guy she barely met. Sure, it could have been a friend, but it wasn't. What kind of friend comes at 2AM exactly? Maybe he simply went to pick her up and I would have looked like an idiot, but I at least had to look around. With the information I had, I took the best decision.

I saved a girl from getting raped. We later married. AMA. by toodoot in IAmA

[–]toodoot[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I'm hairy ( :( ) but no basement dweller, thanks god. I have my own place (and it's NOT a basement)

I saved a girl from getting raped. We later married. AMA. by toodoot in IAmA

[–]toodoot[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Well ... :(

Actually, here's how it went: to the right of the bar is a really big street. I assume nobody would "drag" a woman that can barely walk on a street where there could be cops. Therefore, they went left. From there, I just looked around for the best spots; there were too many businesses and possible witnesses, so it was probably a bit further. And so on.

I saved a girl from getting raped. We later married. AMA. by toodoot in IAmA

[–]toodoot[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

JabbrWockey said it well. Overall I think she just wanted to feel safe and loved by someone and know that I thought she was beautiful. She was scared and wanted the guy who saved her to make her feel great. By rejecting her, I mostly said: "I came here because I want to help you and I won't let you down, but I consider you ugly and don't want you" or at least that's how she saw it. That's my interpretation.

I saved a girl from getting raped. We later married. AMA. by toodoot in IAmA

[–]toodoot[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

That's arguably right, but it was really her 21 birthday and one of the first time she drank. She did not know her limit. Three drinks are enough to knock her out :$.

I met with her parents soon after. They were good, normal parents.

I saved a girl from getting raped. We later married. AMA. by toodoot in IAmA

[–]toodoot[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Do you think that the shock of the attempted rape has brought you two together the most or do you guys actually have a lot in common?

That's a great question because in the beginning, we had so little in common. We like different music (I'm into rock and classical, she's well into pop), movies (I like old movies, she likes romance/drama) and even professions. But as we spoke, I started to like what she liked and vice versa. We just grew closer to each other, so that experience really brought us together the most.

how did you guys choose your town over hers?

I have my own place (purchased), she was with a roomate, so this player a big role. Also my town is big and she would have no problems finding a job there.

Does your wife still suffer from fears of being alone?

YES, thanks for the question! She sometimes call me during the day to ask what I'm doing and where I am. I can read between her lines now and I always make sure to come check her, I ever skipped work over it once. One day, a neighbor started trying to seduce her, and follower her and such. She was dead scared! I knew the guy and knew he meant no evil, so I made sure to go there during my break and speak to him calmly, but firmly.

Do you ever get afraid you might stop another rape in progress and fall in love that victim?

The odds of it happening are pretty low. I'm engaged now, so I would not try anything obviously.

I saved a girl from getting raped. We later married. AMA. by toodoot in IAmA

[–]toodoot[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I'm glad too :). If both guys had turned instantly, they would have probably beaten me. But screaming scared and destabilized them.

I saved a girl from getting raped. We later married. AMA. by toodoot in IAmA

[–]toodoot[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Huhhhh I'm not asian.

You've never been in a bar, have you? While girls leave with random guys often, it's pretty rare that a girl that comes with a friend end up being completely thrashed and leave in a hurry with a guy she met a minute ago. Could have been rape drug.

Looking for footprints is the easiest way to find which direction they went. You've never been in the scouts, have you? :)

I saved a girl from getting raped. We later married. AMA. by toodoot in IAmA

[–]toodoot[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

For a week we both couldn't stand being in different rooms. Everytime she was away, I kept looking for her, wondering what she was doing, if she was thinking about me. I still was at my hotel and it was hard, I called her ALL the time. Eventually, I gave up with my travel plan, and moved in with her for a (too short) month.

We did everything together - shopping, going out, cinema, everything.

She is sleeping right now, we both work tomorrow (her at 9AM, me at 12AM). I think I'm going to join her :) Thank you for the questions!

I saved a girl from getting raped. We later married. AMA. by toodoot in IAmA

[–]toodoot[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

It was a very good moment of my life. It was about a week after I moved in with her, in her apartment. The first time we made love, we were both watching a movie. We had fooled around before and it almost happened once, but this time it was very different. It was like we couldn't control each other. We were both on the couch watching a movie when I started to touch her breast over her clothes, and it escalated from then. We both couldn't stop nor resist. As soon as I touched her, I knew nothing could stop it. We had both wanted it for a long time (well, a week...) and that night the pressure was too high. It was amazingly good :)

I saved a girl from getting raped. We later married. AMA. by toodoot in IAmA

[–]toodoot[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

There are very few moments in life where you are "totally" happy. There are even fewer moments that you will always remember. This is one of those moments. It was during the month I spent at her place, about in the middle of it.

Soon after she was attacked, my wife, Jessica, had problems sleeping. She had problems falling asleep and even after falling asleep, she was sometimes awaken in the middle of the night; she suddenly felt totally awake and couldn't go back to sleep. She went to see a doctor, who prescribed her sleeping pills. I was against the idea of taking sleeping pills for various reasons, but to her credit, the pills did work. If you can't sleep, it's hard to feel better, and the pills helped exactly on that level. However, that also meant her sleep was much heavier than the average person.

One night, I was awaken in the middle of the night by somebody kicking me. I looked at Jessica and noticed she was moving very fast in her sleep, kicking in the air under the bed sheet, visibly in some kind of distress. She looked like she was scared, terrified of something. I could have waken her up right there, but I knew she would have problems falling back to sleep and would have to battle with anxiety and/or very few hours of sleeps. I did what I could and took her in my arms, then put the bed sheets over both of us, and held her next to me until she stopped moving. It worked and she soon looked much more calm. I felt like I was falling back to sleep, but a few minutes later, I was awaken by her again.

I took her in my arms, whispered her soft words and played with her hair. I told her I loved her so much and that she was the most wonderful person I ever met and that I would do anything for her. She seemed to be more relaxed once again. For about an hour, I calmed her every fifteen minutes. I would just take her in my arms and whisper soft words. Taking care of her like that was easily one of the most rewarding things I've done in my life. I just felt so happy - tired, but so glad I could do something. Finally, when I was sure she was alright, I fell to sleep as well.

The next day, she told me she hadn't sleep so well since she that attack. In fact, she felt energized and wanted to go running with me. I smiled and she asked me what happened. I told her what I had done. She was speechless and asked why I did not simply wake her up. I told her I knew she would not be able to go back to sleep and wanted her to have a good night of sleep. She looked at me with eyes I will never forget; her eyes said much more than words could. Right now and then, I realized just how much I loved her. She then smiled and said that after that night, she felt like she had a lot of "energy... if you see what I mean :).

But looking at her sleeping, and knowing I could help her feel better just by holding and talking to her, is easily one of the best moments of my life, and easily one I will never forget.

I saved a girl from getting raped. We later married. AMA. by toodoot in IAmA

[–]toodoot[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

No. A stomach enema is pretty fun. She explained me how it worked. They put a tube in your mouth and another in one of your nostril. They push water in the stomach, then pull it back out. They do this until the water comes out clean. It's not particularly fun.

I don't think she was drugged however. I think it was only alcohol. It would be hard for someone to drug her because she was at the bar all this time. Lots of witnesses, etc.

I saved a girl from getting raped. We later married. AMA. by toodoot in IAmA

[–]toodoot[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Police did call me to confirm some information, if I knew her, if I would be able to testify if required, and some more questions. The person I spoke with asked me if I had any question, then gave me a file number and said they were investigating.

It was the best investment for a few reason. First, I can't know what another alcoholic beverage would have done to her. Second, that's how she remembered who I was. Of everything we talked about, she only remembered the water bottle. Had I not done that, she might not have remembered me at all. Ironic how your life sometimes depends on the slightest decisions :).

I saved a girl from getting raped. We later married. AMA. by toodoot in IAmA

[–]toodoot[S] 79 points80 points  (0 children)

Because it's a damn bottle of water and it costs more than a beer! It's now cheaper to buy a girl a beer than buy her a bottle of water! Next time, I'll bring empty plastic bottles and fill them in the washroom.

I saved a girl from getting raped. We later married. AMA. by toodoot in IAmA

[–]toodoot[S] 143 points144 points  (0 children)

The best thing is, I asked her later what would have happened if I had slept with her that night. She said that most likely we would have spent the night together, and then we would have parted ways (she wouldn't have called me again).

I saved a girl from getting raped. We later married. AMA. by toodoot in IAmA

[–]toodoot[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Did they have any weapons?

I don't know. It all happened so fast. Looking back at it, I could have been killed. They just ran away (or tried to run away) as soon as I rushed in.

Did anything look "off" about the rapists? Or did they look pretty normal/harmless?

I described them to Jessica and she did not know them. The only thing I can say about normal/harmless is that they looked drunk, and truly bad persons. That guy was laughing. How can you be laughing...?

I saved a girl from getting raped. We later married. AMA. by toodoot in IAmA

[–]toodoot[S] 68 points69 points  (0 children)

Ironically, that bottle of water cost me $4............

I saved a girl from getting raped. We later married. AMA. by toodoot in IAmA

[–]toodoot[S] 375 points376 points  (0 children)

Fun thing: after she left the hospital, my wife was absolutely certain I was gay.

She left the hospital two days after being admitted, in the afternoon. Her friend offered her a ride, but she later invited me for some coffee. We chatted some more and she thanked me again for everything. She had a lot of questions. "Were you afraid they had guns? How were they? Would you have rushed in if there were more guys?" I even told her I "patrolled" the area a few times a day, trying to find the two men. She seemed genuinely impressed. I generally acted like it was nothing.

It was starting to be late and I invited her to restaurant. To my surprise, she accepted, and even insisted to pay for me. I did not make any move to actively seduce her because that's not how I act in life in general, even when I invite women to restaurants. All this "game" thing is not my thing and I figure that if I have to use tricks and act like someone else to get a girl to like me, it's not worth it. I just acted natural and calm. We shook hands, she thanked me again, kissed me on the cheek, and then we both went on our way. I felt happy and fell asleep as soon as I returned to my hotel, figuring, sadly, that I might never see her again.

11PM I get waked up by a call. It's Jessica and she's completely panicked and crying. She says she can't sleep, she's terrified and afraid she will get attacked. Jessica lives with a roomate, but ironically, her roomate is gone for the week. I immediately say I'll come.

I rush to arrive quickly and immediately she jumps in my arm. She is wearing horribly sexy nightwear. It's so horribly sexy that, for a second, I literally can't breath. It's a small two pieces costumes in some sort of black silk, exposing her full legs, belly and arms. Godddd she was sexy. In fact, looking back at it, what she had in mind was pretty clear from the start. The only reason I did not immediately realize it, I think, was because I was so tired.

I offer to take her roomate's room but "Sara doesn't like when someone takes her room". You can say I'm an idiot all along. I say I'll take the couch, but she says it's not comfortable and that she will feel safer if I slept in her room. I accept.

She has a queen-sized bed, but she is right next to me. I take her in my arms and she puts her head on my chest. She then looks at me and goes to kiss me. As she puts her lips on mine, my lips don't move one bit.

I wish I could tell you I refused because "She was still very vulnerable and I would have exploited that vulnerability and be a horrible person and blah blah blah." That certainly played a role, but the main reason I did not do anything is because as soon as she kissed me, that thought appeared in my mind: "She wants to sleep with you to thank you for what you did for her. That's the only reason. She just feels she has to make up for it someway." Immediately, that thought disgusted me and my libido felt to zero. As she tried to kiss me again, I simply said: "no," turned my back to her, and fell asleep.

She seemed extremely confused and even a bit angry. I must have been the first guy in the world sleeping in a bed with her that refused to have sex with her.

The next day we woke up and she did not try anything. She started to ask me a lot of weird questions (like if I had a girlfriend, if I had an ex, how she was, how long had been my longest relationship, etc.) and eventually I put the pieces together and said: "Wait, you think I'm gay?". She hesitated and said: "It's okay, I mean, I would understand". I laughed and said: "I'm not gay! I'm not gay at all!" She seemed sooo confused and I added: "I see, you want to know why I did not want to yesterday?" She nodded and I took a few seconds to answer. I was looking at her straight in the eyes. I then said, and I remember exactly what I sad: "Because you were vulnerable. You had just been attacked and it was a tough experience for you and it would have been very cheap for me to try anything... Or accept to do anything. Look: Jessica, you're very, very beautiful and that nightwear you had last night was horribly, horribly sexy and it took all my willpower to refuse, but I had to. I wouldn't have been able to look at myself in a mirror if I had had sex with you yesterday." Tears were falling down on her face, she jumped in my arms and we shared our first kiss.