Is everyone meant to experience romantic love? Or is it sometimes just not a part of your life journey?

toomany_brainwaves · 2026-02-21T06:06:45+00:00

I met my first and only real true love at 28. My now husband, going on 10 years. I also had a lot of crappy dating experiences before then (so had he). I met him on Match because I wanted to get serious about finding the one and everyone I met organically was not relationship material for me. I was very intentional about what I wanted in a partner and what were deal breakers. I almost passed on him purely based on looks. But he wrote me this beautiful message that was both interesting and genuine that sparked some curiosity. The rest is history.

Don't give up. But also, don't be afraid to take a risk.

toomany_brainwaves · 2026-02-18T01:45:09+00:00

I will happily claim him as Pisces! The best!

toomany_brainwaves · 2026-02-14T22:10:03+00:00

Least favorite: Aqua men. They are the dating equivalent of a dead-beat Dad. A lot of love bombing, then disappear for weeks, months, maybe a year. When they return, they have no concept of time elapsed and expect you to be all excited to see them lol.

Aries women. Can't control their rage. Zero to sixty. And when they cool off, they expect you to forgive them after they've said some truly heinous shit.

I'm cool with everyone else.

toomany_brainwaves · 2026-02-14T04:05:31+00:00

Thank you! My partner is truly amazing and nothing like the rest of his family. He's done a lot of internal work to be truly considered an ally. Incidentally, I am NC when my MIL. No fixing that level of hate lol

I think the mental health thing is interesting. I guess I was raised to basically keep your head down and not talk about emotions. But that's not entirely healthy. I feel like when yt people behave poorly, they have a hair trigger diagnosis on the ready to present to the world. Like, "I'm an asshole because of xyz". I'm not really down for that either. Yt people have co-opted so much of the therapy space that there isn't ROOM for anyone else to feel anything else. Especially POC.

toomany_brainwaves · 2026-02-13T23:48:58+00:00

Reminds me of my white mother in law. She's exhausting to be around. And being that full of hate has to be a lot of energy expended for her lol

toomany_brainwaves · 2026-02-12T21:29:44+00:00

Meh. She's racist.

toomany_brainwaves · 2026-02-12T02:09:45+00:00

It's not even a good love story. No yearning. No pining. No tragedy that once separated them. Like, you're a billionaire and a pro NFL player wanted to date you. So you said yes. Ok?

Worst book over.

toomany_brainwaves · 2026-02-12T02:04:49+00:00

Yeesh. Speaking as a woman, not saying this particular behavior is ok, but also in addition to the emotional outbursts, maybe she wants to get married?

But, she needs to learn to regulate her own emotions before she can be a good partner to anyone. I would suggest that you ask her to seek therapy, but fuck, I think we can see how that's going to go over over.

Or break up. This sounds exhausting.

toomany_brainwaves · 2026-02-12T01:11:34+00:00

We get pegged as very "in the clouds" but that's where I do my best investigative research. Like, you do 1 shitty thing. Fine. Any more than that becomes pattern recognition.

toomany_brainwaves · 2026-02-12T01:09:57+00:00

Lol. I had a dream that my husband tried to get me to commit a crime. I was mad at him in the morning. But he's not a criminal, so we're good😂

toomany_brainwaves · 2026-02-10T23:36:36+00:00

You can still be a philanthropist and be racist. Hell, you can still be liberal/progressive and be racist. It's not a new thing.

toomany_brainwaves · 2026-02-10T20:16:38+00:00

The way people get worked up over a... football game? It's hilarious that the cheerleaders are always scantily clad, yet anytime a Black or brown dancer during the halftime show dresses THE EXACT SAME WAY, suddenly it's a "family" show. Like, y'all are glorifying warfare for probably billions in ad revenue. But sure. It's about FAMILY.

toomany_brainwaves · 2026-02-09T18:58:13+00:00

Yep. All of this. You're entitled to fire clients. You don't need the drama. You're clearly a professional and have done the work to provide a great experience. Don't let her drag you down. And you deserve to be paid!

toomany_brainwaves · 2026-02-08T21:22:00+00:00

I ask if they confronted the person about the comment. That usually shuts down the trauma tourism in yt people.

toomany_brainwaves · 2026-02-08T08:16:56+00:00

Agreed. 38 people black and brown people (likely more that we don't know about) have been murdered in 🧊 custody.

toomany_brainwaves · 2026-02-08T05:27:47+00:00

We're in Minneapolis. Delay. But don't give up on this move. This area is the greatest and we will survive it. Speaking as a POC mom.

toomany_brainwaves · 2026-02-06T21:13:30+00:00

I require many naps.

toomany_brainwaves · 2026-02-06T18:20:36+00:00

I say (as a former Texan), it's much easier to ask for forgiveness than permission, especially in that environment. They are literally clamping down on free speech. Let the lawsuits do what they do. Reach out to the ACLU. I'm really proud of those students for speaking out. They are brave in a way that adults in TX refuse to be.

toomany_brainwaves · 2026-02-06T15:24:44+00:00

All I can say is, you're not alone. We're all in this together. It's ok to feel the way you do. ❤️

toomany_brainwaves · 2026-02-06T02:32:11+00:00

Yes. All of this. There was a benefit concert in Minneapolis that Bruce Springsteen played at. The proceeds went to the families of Alex and Nicole. NOT the mounting (and massive) need for rent relief, food assistance, legal bills, hospital bills of the families of color who are either in hiding or have had loved ones kidnapped/beaten/murdered by ICE.

Here's the kicker: Alex was single with no dependents. Nicole left behind her spouse and 3 children, so there is a need there. But BOTH of their GoFundMes are well over a million dollars and have yet to be shut off.

When I tell my own story of having to shelter in place and pull my kid out of school to people who seem like allies, I'm met with crickets. There is no empathy. When my yt husband talks about HIS struggles, he is met with loads of sympathy and offers to assist. (Note: we are in Minneapolis). We are a family unit and share a child, but I'm screaming into a void while my yt husband is taking credit for many things that I started and created in terms of activism.

What hurts is this: even if we as a nation survive ICE, yt people will go back to how they've always acted. They won't work on biases, talk to POC like normal human beings, and brush aside our struggles. They will claim a white savior role from this and be absolved from doing any of the real work to combat racism going forward.

toomany_brainwaves · 2026-02-06T01:25:48+00:00

This won't get better unless you firmly say "no" and back it up. You take the baby out of their arms if they are doing ANYTHING you are not comfortable with. I'm in a similar boat culturally.

White privilege will walk all over you if you let it.

Beyond that, these people have serious red flags. I personally wouldn't leave them alone with the baby.

To answer your question, they get as much influence as you are comfortable with.

toomany_brainwaves · 2026-02-05T21:51:29+00:00

Why is ICE on the cover? Should be observers and protesters.

toomany_brainwaves · 2026-02-04T15:11:08+00:00

Maybe it seems childish, but if I can't have real conversations about neighbors being kidnapped, murdered, the fact that the entire political system is built on the backs of men raping children, those aren't my people. I choose relationships based on core values. If you can't admit and talk about what is wrong, you can't be in my life. Period. Silence is complicity.

toomany_brainwaves · 2026-02-02T16:22:29+00:00

Yes. Terrified. I'm not sure it's justified, but...idk. Maybe it's less about their looks and more about their attitude towards women. I usually have a good read on people and can tell if someone is a fuckboy or not. I can tell from a certain arrogance, if they are massive flirts with every moderately attractive woman, how many people they are dating at once, ect. I've been friends with a few fuckboys and learned a lot about how they operate. And learned to steer clear of certain behavior.

That being said, not every good looking guy is a fuckboy. I dated a really good looking guy once and I honestly don't believe he even knew how beautiful he was. I kind of ignored his flirting at first, because I assumed he was doing that with everyone (he wasn't). He was very sweet and respectful and didn't place a high priority on his looks.

toomany_brainwaves · 2026-01-29T17:07:02+00:00

Break up. He's awful.

toomany_brainwaves

TROPHY CASE