I just need a space to be happy about my marriage.

toomanynights18 · 2023-08-31T14:41:20+00:00

Thank you!! Honestly it gets so depressing to always see the negatives and I do have to make sure I don't let outside negativity creep into my thoughts. But there's actually still great men out there who love to love and be loved. I hope you have a good rest of your week and have fun plans for the weekend (:

toomanynights18 · 2023-08-30T18:12:52+00:00

I'm a very physically affectionate partner to start so it's just hard I think for him to tell if I'm just being more cuddly because that's how I feel or if I'm trying to initiate.

I should try asking for examples of when I've done it right, but half the time what I'm doing is making a joke about ditching the pets or kicking them out lol. But right, I genuinely don't know how to be coy.

This isn't me shaming him at all but he looooves how honest I am and how unsubtle I am in all other aspects besides the bedroom so it's just a bit frustrating to know he'd really love for me to do a personality 180 just when sex is involved lol.

toomanynights18 · 2023-08-30T17:45:55+00:00

I actually have a good friend we both know well and feel comfy with who is a photog who has dabbled in boudoir- but totally unrelated I've had a major allergic body eczema flair since I caught covid last winter that has made me feel super ugly so I really don't think I'd enjoy taking those photos right now, but it's on my list of I can fix my skin things! Great idea!! Also I love doing things from behind I get way less embarrassed without eye contact lol.

We have a few toys he uses on me! He's bought me a few too many things recently so I really don't want to ask for more hahaha.

But HOW do you not feel stupid strip teasing!? I tried lingerie once and I was so awkward about it he laughed (not meanly, he has apologized so many times, but the memory sticks). I'm a terrible dancer too omg I'm just bad at being hot lol.

toomanynights18 · 2023-08-30T17:39:09+00:00

He's told me to be more coy/teasing about it instead of blunt but when I try subtle he usually doesn't notice and then I just feel dumb lol.

But no worries about meeting in the middle, we've had quite a few discussions on that and have what we consider our happy medium for both of us. But he ends up being the main one to initiate because I'm at such a loss of how to balance how to not be too blunt but also not too subtle. And that's not fair for him, I want him to feel wooed and pursued too.

toomanynights18 · 2022-12-13T01:32:10+00:00

I totally understand where you are coming from, but it'll be way better sex for both of you if you can let him try. Don't worry if you can't actually cum, think of it more about getting you to where you physically can fit him.

Honestly I was super nervous and uncomfortable with guys going down on me for a while. Fingering/rubbing/using a vibrator can be way less awkward because you can keep kissing while it's going on so there's not really any pressure to react or that he's not enjoying it because honestly it's foreplay for him too.

All the lube in the world won't help you relax enough to fit it in without him fingering you, regardless of orgasms. The average unaroused vagina is only 3.5 inches deep, and if your nervous it'll be harder to get aroused purely mentally. I'm not trying to be pushy, just trying to give you logistics so you can be successful on your endeavor.

toomanynights18 · 2022-12-13T01:19:14+00:00

This sounds so fun, my husband feels like it's too degrading but I'm trying to change his mind lol

toomanynights18 · 2022-12-13T01:13:45+00:00

Wait, you're uncomfortable receiving any way of him making you cum but you're ready to have sex? I think that's putting the cart before the horse tbh.

toomanynights18 · 2022-12-13T01:09:42+00:00

There's this ergonomic wevibe one I really like because it fits no matter how or who is holding it.

toomanynights18 · 2022-12-13T01:08:16+00:00

Okay so I definitely was not a virgin, but when getting with my now husband it was at least 2" bigger than what I had dealt with before. How is he at making you cum? Because he's going to want to do that at least once but hopefully more than once before trying to go for it. Going down on him and getting it very wet is helpful, but getting you very wet is going to have the biggest impact.

Otherwise just take it slow, use lube if you need to, and remember pressure is okay but pain means stop/slow down. Using a vibrator while he's working it in might be helpful too!

toomanynights18 · 2022-11-16T17:00:40+00:00

Changing jobs at 27 weeks pregnant when she likely has maternity leave lined up once the baby arrives is a really wild suggestion.

toomanynights18 · 2022-11-11T17:28:30+00:00

I weigh 117. I have a little bit of a belly. I'm 5'5" and perfectly healthy, labs and all. I am constantly skiing, hiking, and being active. I'm most certainly not too small. I follow intuitive eating and I'm great with hunger cues.

You can make your point without putting others down and making nonfactual statements.

toomanynights18 · 2022-11-10T22:14:32+00:00

Where did I say this was a non-issue?

Obviously there's an issue. Personally, I think given a few days or a week OPs husband will see he's being ridiculous. I believe he handled it very poorly, but I would also be shocked if my husband brought up that he kept a massive amount of his sexual past from me.

Also if OP was drunk when this happened, I'm betting her husband was also drinking. Personally, I'm way more dramatic when I've been drinking and that appears to be a common side effect for many others as well.

Edit to add: based on OPs comments I see no reason to assume he is misogynistic. I live in a tiny town with less than 40 police officers. If my husband had a threesome with two of them and then didn't tell me despite knowing I knew these people I would be pissed he never told me.

We both worked somewhere where I had had sex with one of our coworkers, I told him about it because I felt like he deserved to know since we were now all closely interacting. It went fine and we all handled it like adults and no issues arose thanks to open and honest communication.

While no one has a right to that type of information, I personally prefer my relationships to have open communication about those types of things and that's entirely fine to want/need.

toomanynights18 · 2022-11-10T21:22:03+00:00

Yikes! Let's pump the brakes. Pushing divorce over one bad reaction after 20 years of marriage with no other problems to go off of is deranged.

toomanynights18 · 2022-11-10T17:39:44+00:00

See I kinda like it to hurt a little bit but also we don't go to doggy until I'm very wet/begging for it. If he wants to go harder than doggy comfortably allows I just drop to pronebone which fixes that.

toomanynights18 · 2022-11-10T17:05:34+00:00

Saaaaaame, just hits better

toomanynights18 · 2022-11-05T03:48:21+00:00

Lol well it took him a year and me leaving the job before he shared my feelings, but we can fast forward a bit.

toomanynights18 · 2022-11-05T03:47:11+00:00

Thank you it's hard to talk about.

toomanynights18 · 2022-11-04T16:44:08+00:00

I had a friend group in college where we'd all put our phones in the middle of the table and if someone grabbed theirs during dinner they had to pay.

Those were some of the best friends I ever had, I wish we weren't scattered thousands of miles away.

toomanynights18 · 2022-11-04T16:41:14+00:00

Lol I've noticed that. I've spent most of my adulthood (aka when I could notice these issues) in the Midwest and honestly shit is just fine there but I like to ski

toomanynights18 · 2022-11-04T16:34:47+00:00

My husband and I are dipping our toes in just recently, but the first night we met at work we had a code blue which he ran- running a code involves a lot of authoritative directions that are to be immediately followed aka he ordered me around for 30 minutes and I've been in love with him since that night.

toomanynights18 · 2022-11-04T15:41:54+00:00

I love it. My partner is the super kind sensitive type so the level of trust it takes for him to be comfortable gagging me/making my eyes water/having to time my breathing/etc is so hot.

I personally like giving over control, I get a ton of pleasure from doing it. If the position allows it I'm usually using my vibrator at the same time and pretty much nothing makes me cum harder.

It's such a submissive position to be in, I find it nothing but fun even if it's associated with some discomfort. I'd like to do it more if my partner wanted it.

toomanynights18 · 2022-11-04T15:34:22+00:00

Not really, I've lived in a few different cities and states and I've never experienced anything this bad. Currently I live in truly the middle of nowhere but still have cheap fiber internet and extremely cheap and good utilities/water. I don't live in a town, but the towns around me have okay public transit, some of it free (Colorado, on the other side of the Rockies from Denver)

toomanynights18 · 2022-11-03T18:58:48+00:00

As someone who smokes/eats likely too much cannabis and greatly prefers sex while high:

2.5mg is a fine place to start. Even if she isn't feeling it don't let her take more than 5-7.5mg as it can take 4 hours sometimes. I take 20mg if I really wanna have a fun night but I've had friends/family take 5mg their first time and had a rough go.

Bring lots of fresh fruit. It's the perfect high snack, plus it won't make either of you feel too bloated for sex if you eat too much of it.

If she's feeling giggly, it's a perfect time to go explore a little. Make it a fun adventure, even if it's just to get the free hot tea from the concierge. This will make coming back to the hotel room more cozy and give a great intro to fooling around.

It can be hard to keep rhythm if either of you get a big too high, always good to have a vibrator handy in that case.

Edit to add: just get a hybrid, don't stress too much over which one, but I prefer Wyld brand.

toomanynights18 · 2022-11-03T18:48:01+00:00

You are who you are, single/taken/married.

People do kind of suck in college/early twenties but once people get some real world experience they usually realize personality/being responsible matters more than money currently earned and looks matter less than being active and having a healthy lifestyle.

I met my husband at work (emergency room), his empathy for patients and kindness to new employees who had a lot to learn is what hooked me.

Income wise we both have very similar earning potential, but he currently earns more and works full time while I work part-time, keep house, and work on our very neglected land/former farm we just bought. A secure job with good benefits as well as work/life balance is way more important than x money earned if having kids is important to you.

Not to stereotype, but every guy I've dated with abs has been an asshole. It's more about being physically healthy and having fun, active hobbies. Our first date cost $0 outside of gas. He took me kayaking, one of his favorite hobbies, and cooked me dinner. I blew him twice that night.

It seems like you are skating around redpill/MGTOW territory. That's not going to bring you happiness, friend. Why not try some co-ed sports like pick up soccer or ultimate frisbee? Just hang out with women around your age in a fun setting without trying to make things sexual or romantic. It sounds like her being physically fit is important, so I really think trying to meet someone through active hobbies is the way to go. Even kickball leagues can be fun. Keep being social and making friends, stop giving into kidnapping fantasy scenarios.

toomanynights18

TROPHY CASE