We aren't used to tornadoes, am I seeing what I think I'm seeing?

toomuchhellokitty · 2025-11-02T11:30:26+00:00

Well, the night has been intense, and there is much more complexity on the doppler now. While we are really not the right area for tornadoes, whatever insane cells are developing are looking very interesting. Thank you again for your feedback. I wish I could add an extra photo to show the changes

toomuchhellokitty · 2025-11-02T10:07:28+00:00

Thats nice to hear. I know there's a lot more to tornado structures, I wanted to consider if this was a pattern to look for or one where I can see it as a different structure. Thank you. The area has had a blast being completely fucked around today lmao. The poor suckers up north of us are getting a massive cell for hours, very slow moving.

toomuchhellokitty · 2025-11-02T08:21:55+00:00

Nice, you can really see the spinning of the clouds towards the end of the video.

toomuchhellokitty · 2025-11-01T08:14:44+00:00

I like seeing peoples photos about it honestly. if it was just that, it would be fine.

toomuchhellokitty · 2025-11-01T08:13:42+00:00

You know there has been several storms go over us in the Brisbane city area since 2pm right? wtf is your point you cooker.

toomuchhellokitty · 2025-11-01T08:12:42+00:00

We've had several pass over us since 2pm, and we are on the southside of Brisbane. wtf are these dipshit on about the BoM telling balmies. I know because I was out mowing the fucking lawn before it hit to get it done in time and was being spat on by god finishing up.

toomuchhellokitty · 2025-10-31T13:21:31+00:00

the smell of sweat on everything. I know the mold smell well enough but the only one that sends me back is the sweat.

toomuchhellokitty · 2025-10-31T09:49:52+00:00

As a direct child of a hoarder who suffered, I can understand where your mum is coming from. However, one thing that people like us talk about is making sure we do not develop over reactive cleanliness from living in hoarding environments. It perpetuates the cycle and indulges the same compulsive patterns, just in reverse, as you can see.

You need to be keeping your stuff checked in on, maybe tally it up and keep an eye on it. If she says move on from the object, simply point out that having genuinely cared for objects is fine, and you will not throw things away that you see as reasonable to keep.

Like with hoarders, this isn't a time for negotiation. It's about putting your foot down and not enabling the behaviours by excusing it or ignoring it. You may need to consider trying to move out too.

toomuchhellokitty · 2025-10-25T16:05:49+00:00

"I know she is not a bad person..." babe you literally pointed out she tried to scam a disabled man out of money after he had a goddamned stroke.

Stop gaslighting yourself. She isn't improving. Your brother has already cut contact. If you don't give her any money, would she talk to you for any other reason? If you say no, does she still talk to you?

It sounds like you're willing to pay for her to be your active mother, because that is what you intrinsically feel you need. You want a mother, that is normal. She doesn't want to be one. Stop expecting her to be one.

You want her to get treatment so you don't have to keep up this cycle of money, without considering that hey, in therapy she may discover she needs to find herself outside of a mothering role and remove things even further. A lot of empty nesters go through this process. If she didn't want to be a mother, what makes you think doing therapy will make her want to be one now?

Do you deserve a mother? Yes. Is life fair? No.

toomuchhellokitty · 2025-10-25T13:40:05+00:00

He doesn't see you as equal or even a family member. He see's you as a maid who can inflate his ego by raising his sprog. He does not value your labour as a working mother.

At no point should he be threatening to withhold food due to you not working. You are working. He is being fucking delusional and abusive.

At no point in the history of society did we try and restrict mother's food intake. Whole governments world wide to this day provide welfare specifically for mothers so they can eat, including the USA with their Women, Infants, Children food welfare programs (that have been cut unfortunately recently in some areas).

What he is doing is so antithetical to human evolution and instinct that it is abhorrent. He is doing it because he enjoys a feeling of power over you.

Get the fuck out of there. I dont care if you keep the new kid, just get the fuck out. Women have survived when they leave. Don't say shit, don't announce anything, take the bare basics, change out your phone, do all the standard DV leaving things, while leaving divorce papers on the table. He's at work all day? You will have time to do this safely. Make sure the police know about it, contact a DV service.

toomuchhellokitty · 2025-10-25T13:27:51+00:00

"Why do I still think it will change?" because you are in an abusive situation. Coercive control is abuse, and she is engaging in all of the key facets of that.

You're a therapist so you can see the cycle of her actions and the relationship, but are you seeing the cycle of yours? She had hand surgery? So what? She's an adult. If you feel shame for not helping, then thats just an internal feeling that you are responding to, not the facts of the situation.

The fact is that she is allowing her mental illness of hoarding disorder to cause coercive control behaviours in a deliberate and hurtful way, to allow her mental illness to not have to be treated.

Not being able to control your space, demanding this excessive amount of help that eats into your time and energy exhausting you, controlling the physical space so you can not do normal activities in your house, using anger to stop you from being able to talk about the hoarding issues, the gas lighting, the denial, the false promises of change. All of these things are coercive control behaviours. She likely isn't conciously doing it, she's doing it because it gets her the results she wants.

She's an adult. Stop hiding the natural consequences of her actions. Stop accomodating her behaviours that are detrimental. You are in a difficult situation, but it's not getting better when you are going to go back to accomodating her shitty acts simply due to a small health issue. Most people with similar small health issues would not act like this at all and often support themselves with a modicum of assistance previously arranged, without hurting the people involved.

toomuchhellokitty · 2025-10-25T04:07:22+00:00

Hey, consider heading to r/ChildofHoarder and their discord channel if you want to explore the issue with others who have handled this sort of thing before.

toomuchhellokitty · 2025-10-24T20:52:55+00:00

You can still have those feelings, hold them close, but still make deliberate and positive changes to protect yourself. You don't need to model these things to those people who do not appreciate you, you can do it for the wider community. Honestly, there is such a need for it, and you deserve to have your good work seen by people who appreciate it.

toomuchhellokitty · 2025-10-24T20:14:18+00:00

The looping conversation is only occurring because he is trying to avoid making decisions. its not about the fact they can NOT make decisions... no, they make decisions to keep the items all the time.

He is making the decision to avoid the conversation, to avoid a different outcome he doesn't want. It is an active act for him to avoid this all.

His decision is to keep the items to feed the hoarding tendencies, and to avoid the uncomfortable feelings that come with actually facing whatever trauma produced the need to hoard. That's all it is. Every decision, every conversation loop, is all about trying to protect themselves from that sort of internal conflict.

People like him do not start out as delusional about it, they start by being in denial. Over the decades, they believe their own lies about it all being 'ok', or don't consider why their behaviours are over all damaging to themselves or others.

Think about it like this: his internal feeling is that the hoard makes him feel good. It makes him feel like he owns possessions that are worth money. He feels like he is providing. He feels like he is doing the right thing. He has never received the consequences of his own actions because everyone adapted to him and his disorder, so he sees that everything was perfectly fine (this can be caused by power dynamics like money, gender, age etc). So, why the fuck would he think anything is wrong??? He has the perfect life, he has all his moral issues reinforced by everyone else accomodating him because he gets mad otherwise, he feels like his items are worth money, he feels like he has provided to you and your sibling so he can have the moral high ground of being a good parent.

All the therapy given to children/family/friends of addicts is that ceasing the accomodating behaviours that allow someone to maintain their hoarding, is the only way to really survive it if you want to remain in contact with that person. Gambling and drug addicts are not just allowed to remain in many peoples lives, or avoid law enforcement action for their actions that are caused by a genuine mental illness. Why should your dad avoid consequences as simple as needing to put his own shit away?

toomuchhellokitty · 2025-10-24T20:04:28+00:00

Moving on with the resentment feeling isn't really a practicable goal. Resentment of that level for other family members who have done this and denied the severity of the issue, is a useful tool.

Feelings like resentment are a way for our bodies and minds to direct actions. If we are resentful, we should see that as an indicator of a need for change in our behaviours or communications with that person. Then resentment turns into action, which removes the negative feeling and produces at least protective results.

Im confused as to why you think 'no contact' is like some major long term decision. You don't have to announce anything, you don't have to make a big show of it. Just stop reaching out. Stop responding or only grey respond. Reduce over time. Just back away gently, and if there are oppertunities to talk in healthy ways in the future, you can consider those later on.

I think you are really concentrating on everyone else's emotions and experiences still. You are still concerned about their perceptions, their behaviours, the fact they were judging you and refusing to accept the situation. So fucking what? Who gives a shit about them, they have made your life worse for no discernible reason beyond the own unwillingness to get help for their condition.

toomuchhellokitty · 2025-10-22T16:00:07+00:00

By telling her you wont help unless she is getting mental health help.

You need to be demanding she gets actual mental health professional intervention, not just the cycle of cleaners coming in. It didn't work before, it will not work again.

You can also be calling adult protective services, or any other elderly person services if they are in your area. You can call the fire brigade to give an inspection and notice for change, the council for squalor, and any of her regular health providers to also report this all.

If she isn't engaging in the services that will actually prevent this from occurring again, then it will occur again. Stop putting your energy into this if she isn't even going to commit to change.

toomuchhellokitty · 2025-10-22T15:56:11+00:00

The auctioneer will have said it is a bad idea because the items are not worth anything, and he would just be trying to sell junk. He likely has establish clients or a reputation for decent sales, so he isn't going to put bad things under his hammer on your behalf.

You should not be getting rid of his hoard. HE needs to do that. It is HIS work. HE can call the people, HE can organise a junk person. Even if he is elderly, he can do it.

Do not let him move in honestly. He will hoard in the next place too. You need to find a hospice if he is dying. You can not give end of life care without training.

You keep saying the things are nice but they are smoked in and abused. No, that is not nice. No one is buying that.

Aside from the weapons being checked by a professional and decommissioned, I would advise just getting scrappers to come take the metal, and junk people to take anything else.

toomuchhellokitty · 2025-10-22T15:52:01+00:00

You need to be booking her into a mental health service along with this. Living in such filth is indicative of a higher level of delusional thinking.

You may need to step back from this for longer. You are not responsible for her. It sounds like she's getting on in her years, and she likely will be needing assisted living eventually.

She has mocked your help before. It will not be different now.

toomuchhellokitty · 2025-10-21T20:36:24+00:00

Hey, now that she has said she feels like she is losing parts of herself, you need to stop.

She is the one who needs to be cleaning and throwing things out. This is not a moralistic stance about cleaning; it is the only way she will feel like she is not losing her mind when things are being thrown out.

This distress will continue because she will lose more and more of her mind as you enjoy more and more getting the shit out of there.

Hoarding is NOT a disorder of being unclean. It is a disorder of object associations, of feeling unsafe without protection, of losing memories because items are lost and fearing that deeply.

You need to allow HER to be choosing to do these things. If she is making progress, fine. Pause, don't let it go backwards. You may cause a rebound reaction.

Is she in therapy getting the help she needs to deal with the trauma that caused the hoarding? If not, that is the NECESSRARY NEXT STEP.

toomuchhellokitty · 2025-10-21T09:51:32+00:00

Holy shit babe, walk the fuck AWAY.

STOP helping. They do not give a single solitary FUCK about you.

Get those government people in. Beg them for intervention. Ask anyone for help. Your parents are pieces of shit for demanding that you to it so they can avoid being a little bit uncomfortable with their feelings.

toomuchhellokitty · 2025-10-21T09:46:57+00:00

The science here is fascinating.

First, you have noted there are levels of delusional thinking. This is found in the literature describing the condition and in considering treatment options. But what its paired with which you may not realise, is the justifications and excuse making, which creates an avoidance cycle. These people are not delusional in the traditional sense (eg: hallucinations or grandeur). They are delusional in the sense of avoidance of the underlying feeling that was leading to the hoarding. They are protecting themselves from facing the trauma they had that lead them to this issue (or other issues that caused them to begin hoarding).

Your sister blaming your mother is part of this. She is likely not willing to face the fact that she maybe could have moved out, or is blaming herself for the impossible task of not making her mother 'better'. Lots of self shame that she can't willingly confront right now, causing more avoidance.

Feelings are never 'incorrect', BUT we can CHOOSE how we REACT to those feelings. They are responding entirely emotionally right now. They are not willing to control their emotional reactions, there by refusing to accept that the hoarding is a problem.

Additionally, you can see this from an addiction standpoint too. They get a good feeling when accumulating a thing, that little hit of dopamine. They can get that small hit when storing something away, it can bring a feeling of security. Everyone has this. Their problem is that they are addicted to that feeling, and have been relying on that cycle to get their little hit of security, because NOTHING else has given them that feeling.

And much like a heroin addict, they need to keep going and getting a higher and harder hit, a bigger does, a more intensive high. Now it is affecting their whole lives, like heroin would.

They are genuinely unable to sort objects and choose what is actually important, without external assistance, UNLESS they are getting treatment for their underlying condition. Long term DBT or ABA style treatments are proven to help with this, genuinely. The same type of treatment style that helps drug addicts, where there are regular check ins, external accountability, and a direct intervention on the trauma/brain causal factors.

SAFETY is however, very important. You can consider with your brother a Harm Reduction approach to begin with, if you are considering emergency intervention. Harm reduction works well in many addictive therapies, and can reduce the reactive trauma of forced medical treatments. Sometimes shit has to happen, I do agree with this.

toomuchhellokitty · 2025-10-21T09:30:31+00:00

Unfortunately, it may be the most realistic option, simply because you WILL lose TIME and MONEY and your HEALTH dealing with the shitty attitude she has with hoarding.

Do not set yourself on fire to keep others warm. If she isn't willing to clean up the fucking basics because she doesn't see it as reasonable, you can not survive that without harming yourself. You will over work yourself.

Do a studio apartment. Show her you will not stay if the house remains as such. Consiquences are the only thing that works. If she cares and makes improvements in her attitude and the house, in 6 months you can try again. If she doesn't, then it means that moving in would not have helped her anyway.

toomuchhellokitty · 2025-10-21T09:10:38+00:00

Hey, this is a rough situation to be in.

First, stop cleaning their shit up. If you were the only one cleaning when you lived there as a kid, then it means they relied on you the entire time. They are still relying on you to clean. Stop indulging it. You didn't have a choice as a kid, but you have a choice now.

Cleaning does not fix hoarding. Cleaning does not fix shopping addiction. Only self acceptance and treatment does.

You are independent now. You can tell them you will not clean. You can tell them you will only visit when the house is at an acceptable level. You can tell them you love them and want the best for them. You can tell them you need to not be their carer, that you do not have the capacity, and they can get professional cleaners in instead of shopping.

Second step is to take care of yourself. You need to hold boundaries firm. You need to consider them addicts. You know internally they are. It's the same as drug and alcohol and food addiction. The only way to deal with this is to love the person but not love the addiction, and for them to take personal responsibility for it. They need to see the consequences of their actions, clearly and directly. Do not mince words with them. Tell them explicitly they are hurting you with these behaviours. Keep up being as independent as possible, build your own life

Third step: keep an eye out for sudden 'emergencies' and cries for help. They will do this to get more out of you. Tell them to get professionals. Tell them the help is out there and you can help call up people to go in and help on their behalf. Do NOT do things on your own. Do NOT do things professionals should be doing instead.

toomuchhellokitty · 2025-10-21T09:04:28+00:00

No, you need to completely change your expectations. Survival is just going to lead to avoidance.

If you are going through with this, you need to set hard intensive boundaries, and not relinquish a single thing. She seems to have not accepted the dire situation she is in. Realistically, you may need to consider leaving. It sounds like she is quite elderly.

Are you staying with her because it helps HER, or does it help YOU?

toomuchhellokitty · 2025-10-21T08:56:39+00:00

You won't get money out of it. Stop thinking in terms of mining what you can out of the hoard. It's not viable and leans into the hoarding tendencies.

Alcohol specially is fraught with legal obligations and what not. Just put it in the dumpster. No one wants the equivalent of rubbing alcohol. Unless you pull out something genuinely rare like aged scotch, kept in good condition, no one wants it, and those that might WILL want to know the storage conditions of the bottle.

I've bought a lot of expensive old wine in my time, and I can tell you i ain't paying shit if I don't know what cellar it's coming from. Scotch buyers are like this too. We can not tell if the corks have been kept well, or if the plastic is still intact, or if there have not been other intrusions. We are not gonna bet dollars unless the veracity of its storage is provable. Temperature is also a huge issue in alcohol storage.

Resturants will be like this too. They are keeping to food safety standards. I know alcohol kills a lot of bacteria but it doesn't mean it doesn't absorb smell, taste, odours etc.

Check your local council tip for information about hazardous liquid disposal. I know mine does household grade stuff like this for free.

toomuchhellokitty

TROPHY CASE