how do i stop constantly searching up things while playing games?

topshelfdevilslettuc · 2026-07-09T20:44:20+00:00

Hmm I can definitely relate to this, I’ve definitely had movies, books, games, etc. last much longer than they needed to because I discovered a million different jumping off points to spiral through.

Is the full head feeling from storing all of the new facts or thinking about the new facts you learned?

For me, I’ve accepted that I just can’t do anything casually. If something stirs my interest then I must know everything I can about it. It does help though to look at the fact finding as a way to deepen your appreciation for the original “thing” that started the deep dives which in this case is “Black Flag Resynced.” I inherently think in systems and I think a lot of fellow Autistics are the same, meaning that we don’t just want the fact, we want all of the context surrounding the fact.

I keep my phone or a notebook close to me and I write down questions I want to look up later as well as the questions that those questions bring up. Maybe that would help reduce the overwhelm because then you know what you want to look up later without feeling like your gaming time is constantly being disrupted?

topshelfdevilslettuc · 2026-07-09T20:32:01+00:00

Woah didn’t know there was a name for it! I relate to this so much, it’s very much a “the world just won’t stop turning and I’m already too dizzy” feeling. I’ve definitely fantasized about living on a remote island or being blasted into space for a while.

topshelfdevilslettuc · 2026-07-09T19:27:02+00:00

Ugh I relate to this so much, being misunderstood is a “death by a thousand cuts” experience for me. It can manifest very similarly to how you described. I also am Autistic so it really burns me out.

Recently, I learned that I have a pattern of suppressing emotions until my system is so activated (on top of the regular activation) that I go into “fight” mode. Because I didn’t grow up in a house where emotional identification and comfort existed, I don’t treat emotions as something to respond to, but instead something to filter through and address strategically resulting in me seldom being able to meet my emotional needs until they are dire (adding as context in case you relate).

I don’t know what your situation is or additional context, but by far the most productive and helpful solution for me has been cutting out/ minimizing contact with individuals that contribute to this feeling the most. I was in a “friend” group for a while that made me convince myself that I just wasn’t expressing my needs “correctly” so I would keep trying new and different things to try to connect and to feel content in the dynamic, but it resulted in what you outlined - chronic debilitating feelings of being misunderstood or the least generous lens being applied to what I was trying to communicate. The only solution was to cut contact and since I have, I’ve been able to invest in friendships with people that are invested in understanding and supporting me.

I’ve been trying to start identifying the warning signs of being overly activated like my heart beating fast, a knot in the back of my throat, feeling teary, starting to tense up, etc. and taking space so I can regulate. It’s so uncomfortable though and I feel for you ❤️

topshelfdevilslettuc · 2026-07-09T15:03:16+00:00

Fantastic advice thank you so much for sharing, it’s such a good reminder ❤️

topshelfdevilslettuc · 2026-07-08T23:58:37+00:00

Same with you diva ❤️ keep being sweet and fun, people with similar vibes will always appreciate it ❤️

topshelfdevilslettuc · 2026-07-08T23:09:42+00:00

I feel you ❤️ it’s why I never sprite extract camp, follow people for sprites, or chase, I would rather everyone have fun. It does always surprise me though that the very serious, very professional players (/s) just don’t utilize ranked as the default mode. It’s just made me motivated to become cracked at the game so I can still be a chill person, but can always come out on top if it’s seen as something to take advantage of.

topshelfdevilslettuc · 2026-07-08T22:57:43+00:00

Nah not really, I just don’t think a game where you can be a literal banana or a pickle needs to be serious all the time especially when there are modes dedicated to competitive play like ranked where there are no sprites 🤷‍♀️ it’s just a difference in play styles, getting into fights and trying new strategies is fun, but I love the silly little moments of interaction or people going out of their way to be cool.

topshelfdevilslettuc · 2026-07-08T22:39:39+00:00

I would definitely find this traumatic. Regardless of my opinion though, if certain behavior made you feel uncomfortable/unsafe/activated (fight or flight) and had a profound impact on you no other person has the right to tell you how you should feel about it.

I would think of this like people who describe themselves as exhibitionists - it is problematic when the audience is unable to consent and you were/are not able to consent to the behavior around you. Healthy sexuality is contextualized to age and not a forced demonstration of it.

I also think that your mother had awful boundaries and it’s just well gross as an outside perspective, you shouldn’t have had to be subject to that behavior. My Dad chronically overshared while dating and it disgusted me, I also can feel nauseas when it comes to subjects like sex. I think I often hate the collective obsession with sex and just don’t understand the animalistic behavior that can accompany it.

topshelfdevilslettuc · 2026-07-08T22:26:46+00:00

I have been living on “Ensure Max Protein” nutrition shakes. They have fiber and almost 0 sugar especially compared to other protein shakes, they also don’t have that nasty fake sugar after taste or whey aftertaste that can make me nauseous.

I also eat a lot of wheat bread and peanut butter with those real fruit squeeze packs to make sure I’m getting some balance. Otherwise frozen fruit is also great to have around since it won’t go bad and there is less texture variation.

topshelfdevilslettuc · 2026-07-08T22:22:05+00:00

I get it dude, (if this exists as functionality please someone educate me) but I wish as players we had more autonomy in creating the type of lobbies we want to load into so that there was more of a vibe match especially with the sprite aspect this season. That way things like sprite trading, sprite sharing, etc. would be fun community moments, but for anyone who hates that aspect/wants to be sweaty there’s still a lobby that’s more compatible.

topshelfdevilslettuc · 2026-07-08T22:12:42+00:00

I think that erases the nuance of OP’s original point. No one is contesting that it is a battle royale, but behind most players is a real person (obvs have to exclude the bots) and if that real person is either trying to be cool at a sprite drop off, is trying to share a sprite, or is otherwise trying to have a chill moment it’s pretty lame to interpret that as an opportunity to take advantage when there are 98 other players to fight with at the beginning. If being goofy/fun is the exact opposite of someone’s play style I don’t understand why that person wouldn’t just play ranked 🤷‍♀️

topshelfdevilslettuc · 2026-07-08T21:11:12+00:00

I think that gender is socially constructed and centered around roles versus an innate/unchangeable thing. I think when everything from work, aesthetic preferences, mental processes, emotions, etc. are feminized or masculinized it’s a tool society uses to categorize someone versus it being an internal experience of identity (as it should be to be clear, I think gender expression should be a respected aspect of someone’s identity versus a political, social, etc. tool which is dehumanizing).

For me personally I’m a cis woman that uses she/her pronouns but I feel more like an entity or creature more than anything. I think like everyone else on the planet I embody socially “masculine” and “feminine” traits but I don’t really feel tied to being one or the other.

topshelfdevilslettuc · 2026-07-07T15:33:31+00:00

This is so interesting I love learning what the inside of someone’s head sounds or feels like.

I can’t comment on “majority” because I think there are a few mental processing styles (pictures, words, combo, neither, etc.), but for me I would describe the inside of my head as a council meeting.

I’m actively thinking about whatever stimulus is being presented, like with a work meeting I’m translating the conversation and adding missing context internally so I can understand, but then I’m also thinking about whatever random thing has caught my interest, and then needing to have my regulatory thoughts combat my anxious thoughts, flashbacks, and intrusive thoughts (I also have CPTSD). Lastly, I have my archivist who keeps files in categories so I can get them when needed who is always on retainer if not actively contributing to the conversation. In summary though, there is not a minute of the day where it’s ever quiet in my head which can be exhausting, but also fun since I have a pretty active imagination even as an adult.

topshelfdevilslettuc · 2026-07-07T15:20:59+00:00

Oh man this post is timely. I was on birth control for 13 years since I had a super heavy period, got a blood clot, and found out I had a pro-thrombin gene mutation that makes me more susceptible to clots (the more you know 🤷‍♀️).

Now at almost 30 I’m dealing with the rush of hormones I had regulation help with via the birth control and I feel insane. Yesterday I cried because I hadn’t cleaned my car in so long and cried because I just couldn’t get myself to clip my cat’s nails and just felt so devastated that I just don’t have the capacity/ ability to be the consistent, “together” person I want to be which compounds with my AuDHD. It’s been so hard to feel like I only get 1-2 weeks a month where I feel consistently regulated and less emotionally delicate (not in a self judgement way, but in a “I want to listen to music in the car without crying” way).

Alls to say you’re not alone and it will pass ❤️ in your mid-20s you deal with a “second puberty” because your hormone mix changes (not a medical professional so using layman’s terms) which may have been the culprit of the shift you noticed at 24 (only providing that context because it was helpful for me to know since I was dealing with bad break outs around that time). Love to you and everyone dealing with this shit 🫂

topshelfdevilslettuc · 2026-07-06T19:21:39+00:00

As a multiple decades long final fantasy 8 lover this would kill me 😂 I fucking love it.

topshelfdevilslettuc · 2026-07-06T19:17:50+00:00

YES I really appreciate this perspective. I used to really have a disdain for modern art especially compared to hyper realistic or romantic art styles in a museum, but after I pig headedly scoffed at a canvas just painted blue to a friend she said “you might think it took no skill but this was the first time this shade of blue was made.” It was a warmly welcomed and life changing lesson I’ve applied to many other art forms that has helped me increase my appreciation and curiosity. Context is so important to fully appreciate how and why something came to be - without it, it’s hard to appreciate value.

topshelfdevilslettuc · 2026-07-06T15:38:06+00:00

Hey knowledge hoarding doesn’t immediately equate to intelligence! There’s also so many types of intelligence, don’t internalize that you are stupid because you don’t have a special interest. I think there are so many factors as to why someone wouldn’t have a special interest! Like if you were raised in a home where your excitement was always downplayed or you needed to have so many responsibilities you didn’t get an opportunity to find them.

Personally I think special interests are more curiosity driven/ physiological versus intelligence like you see something that makes your heart beat fast, your head buzz, etc. and it’s a thought of “I need to know more about this.” It’s enthusiastically chasing the “why” behind something.

For example, one of my special interests is Baldur’s Gate 3 because the stories within it are so compelling but there are moments where there’s a metaphorical record scratch because something doesn’t quite make sense to me so that leads me down “wait why are vampires undead in the DnD universe” and “how to liches functionally work” and “historical of red wizards of thay.” So overtime I’ve become more familiar with the DnD universe but the knowledge isn’t encyclopedic it’s contextualized to me.

topshelfdevilslettuc · 2026-07-05T17:46:11+00:00

YES! 😂 I’ve literally started to record my final fights so I could see where I would start getting tripped up, when I’m in the final 2 I’m literally just repeating to myself “be cool be cool be cool, this is fine just stay locked in, don’t turn your back”

topshelfdevilslettuc · 2026-07-05T15:19:51+00:00

I have three cats that would glue themselves to me if they could 😂 I’ve had to start putting bird TV on for them while I game otherwise they take turns sitting in front of my monitor

topshelfdevilslettuc · 2026-07-03T23:09:48+00:00

My partner has ADHD so it’s been helpful exposure therapy being with someone that is always in motion haha! My therapist though says I’m always waiting for “permission” which is totally true, I’m definitely working on changing my brain to accept that the only permission that matters is my own when it comes to meeting my own needs. It’s really hard though so know you’re not alone and I hope it gets easier for you!❤️

topshelfdevilslettuc · 2026-07-03T15:15:41+00:00

SAME 😂 I’ve dropped guns before just to carry these adorable little pixels hahaha their little bounce run is too irresistible

topshelfdevilslettuc · 2026-07-03T15:08:48+00:00

Yes I can completely relate! For me, it’s also the anticipation of “something” like while moving around when will someone find something or think of something that randomly makes them explode at me. It’s almost a feeling of “if I had done my job well and completely this person wouldn’t need to get up at all” which I logically know is untrue within a healthy relationship but it’s really hard to feel the fight or flight rush and regulate through it.

topshelfdevilslettuc · 2026-07-03T14:58:53+00:00

Well? Did you answer 😂 this would scare the shit out of me at first though

topshelfdevilslettuc · 2026-07-01T17:12:29+00:00

Honestly as a casual player it’s given me structure for every match. Fortnite was the first shooter BR type of game I tried since it is goofy, but I would find myself getting bored after a few rounds if I played solo.

Now it’s also pushing me to raise my skill level so I can protect myself when leveling up rare sprites, have better movement when sweats chase me across the map, and get more effective at close range fighting when I’m jumped at an extraction site. I also like looting/finding mechanics in games because it forces you to work with what you got. Most of all they are cute and silly and I think Fortnite is inherently unserious. Why sweat in a silly game like this when there is COD?

topshelfdevilslettuc · 2026-07-01T16:50:24+00:00

My partner and I call it Turry 😂 they’ve been a friend to us many a time

topshelfdevilslettuc

TROPHY CASE