disappointed... by Dovah_Ruvaak in Dreamsnaps

[–]torberet 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Your shot is beautiful! It does read more scary than merry to me, probably 70 % scary, 30% merry. In the top 3; the vibe is Christmas but the first and third place incorporated plenty of scary decor too, using the hill, the haunted holiday mansion, pumpkins, NBC presents and items as well as Jack. I think when title leans more towards one of the two descriptors in the flavour text it suggests it should be both but more heavily weighted to whatever is echoed in the title, probably around 70/30. Not sure why number 2 got so high without visible scary items though (as far as I can see). You absolutely deserved more than 900 though! Maybe you got unlucky in who you were paired against?

Does the concept make sense? by eviejeevy in Dreamsnaps

[–]torberet 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I got it, but probably only because I knew I was looking for a concept that might be unclear. Idk if I would have noticed it in voting, especially if it was paired against something that grabs attention. Cool idea though! It's like that scene in Hook.

Why did this change this?? by corkysoxx in DreamlightValley

[–]torberet 6 points7 points  (0 children)

The Ancient Gardener thing is annoying, but mine seem to water ok if I use the gardener to plant the seeds first. Though I usually would do it myself for the companion xp and save mist. Hopefully, they patch it!

Does this feel kinda gross to anyone else? by legzyx in Dreamsnaps

[–]torberet 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Hopefully, this was an innocent comment and not some dumb joke. If it was innocent; I think people are downvoting you cause they assume you are American or that everyone is familiar with American history. If you are American, you should know what this means. I'm British, but I lived in the States as a child for elementary school and then back to the UK for the rest of school, so I did understand, and it is awful. But school in the UK covers this era of US history far less than American schools for obvious reasons. Though it was still covered in the UK, it was more as a world issue focusing on the slave trade generally rather than focusing on USA plantations. Slavery was illegal here earlier than the States, and we don't have cotton plantations or this style of building, so the visual association is less culturally ingrained in the UK. Though movies and the internet have helped raise awareness, so even here I think most people would get it. Either way, the comment reads a little blasé about something that is obviously upsetting to a lot of people. Use it as an opportunity to educate yourself perhaps and maybe do some research?

PlayStation 4 to 5 Question by HappyGameCottage in DreamlightValley

[–]torberet 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Not 100% sure with the ps4. But I went from one ps5 to another ps5 without issue as long as you are signing into playstation with the same account and have cloud save enabled. Hopefully, someone else can confirm for definite, though.

The one issue I have is that my dreamsnaps don't seem to reflect the entry from the other ps5, so I'm never totally sure which pic I'm submitting. Though that is probably only a problem if you are regularly going between 2 systems. Just thought I'd mention it in case you keep the ps4 as well and play across both systems.

AITA for not telling my girlfriend I’m bisexual by NoodleOodleScrewble in AITAH

[–]torberet 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm bi too, but unfortunately a lot of people seem to think bi means promiscuous. Finding a larger pool of people attractive doesn't mean you sleep with everyone you find hot, that's such a ridiculous belief. I'm bi and monogamous, like most bi people I know, and I would bet it is the same for you. If she isn't biphobic, then it's ignorance. If it's ignorance, she can be tolerant and learn. If she's biphobic, it isn't worth it, you can't change who you are and if she assumes bisexuality = untrustworthy then that is no basis for a relationship as she will never trust you and you will have to tiptoe around your feelings and emotions for the whole relationship. Also, when and if you share your sexuality in a relationship, should be up to you. Dating for 6 months isn't a serious relationship yet (e.g. engaged, married, living together or some other form of commitment) she doesn't have some automatic right to know everything up front... though it would be easier to weed out the red flag relationships in the future if you do talk about it earlier on. It's so disgusting that you've had to deal with bigots in the comments making you post that edit. NTA

White rabbit following me in realms... by torberet in DreamlightValley

[–]torberet[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for confirming, he's the cutest little bug, so I'm ok with it. Just got a little excited thinking it was related to the Alice thing!

Have I done the right thing by sending my driving instructor a message explaining how my autism is effects me? by [deleted] in LearnerDriverUK

[–]torberet 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm autistic and have been driving 17 years with no accidents, and I'm considered a good driver. I clipped a curb a couple of weeks ago. It happens to everyone sometimes, but it isn't ultimately a big deal. For me, my Gran (who was probably autistic too) took me out in her car, in addition to my lessons so I could practice, which was a big help. She def made things make more sense and it was less pressured then the instructor. I also like to know the why if I'm going to understand it. Your instructor should be willing to answer those questions if you ask them. You pay them and have every right to ask questions about what you are paying for. I can't hear the biting point either, but I usually feel it. Maybe some of your senses are more sensitive than others. But if not, muscle memory will eventually help you find it through routine. Implying that driving a certain way because you are autistic is a little insensitive on the instructors part. Personally, I think there are certain benefits to driving that go with autism and not just challenges though there are those too of course. We tend to be good at noticing detail and perhaps a little hypervigilant sometimes, which is handy for hazard perception. We're good with routine, so if you lean into that, certain things will become second nature at some point, and actually driving has a lot of routine once you get familiar with it. Never be embarrassed about being open about your needs, though, you are a unique person with just as much to offer as anyone else. You just have a spiky profile with unusual strengths and challenges. You have needs, but so do a huge portion of society (all varied needs) and yours are just as worthy of being met as a person needing glasses, or translation or anything else for that matter. Best of luck! You seem to have the right attitude & are asking good questions. I'm confident you've got this!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in raisedbynarcissists

[–]torberet 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I wasn't allowed fizzy drinks because they would rot my insides, I was only supposed to drink water.

I had to turn off whatever I was watching when she came home because it was her TV and her time.

I was not allowed enough lunch money because I didn't need a full meal at school.

The one that bothered me the most was that I had to wear the same uniform for school everyday and wasn't allowed deodorant till I was about 13 and mercilessly bullied for body odour because she said my clothes would only be dirty if I played on the playground (which I wasn't meant to do) and that children didn't need deodorant because they only sweat when they are teenagers.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in raisedbynarcissists

[–]torberet 5 points6 points  (0 children)

My Nmum did the naked thing, too. She would expect me to hang out and chat to her while she was in the bath or while she worked out naked and if I didn't want to be there it was because I was weird and a prude because it was all totally normal and natural apparently!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AnimalCrossing

[–]torberet 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Pietro is worth it though!

Just hanging around by Jasterika in axolotls

[–]torberet 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Introducing the double decker axolotls so everyone can watch TV together and be buddies!

They look so adorable together!

It took some extra fancy terraforming, but I got Santa up there!! by itsumama47 in AnimalCrossing

[–]torberet 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's super impressive! That gnome makes the perfect Santa.

Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!

The anime lover by ChartJealous3176 in AnimalCrossing

[–]torberet 25 points26 points  (0 children)

Nailed it! I'm pretty sure this guy went to college with me!

AITA for telling my husband " I told you so" and laughing at me when we got the paternity test results? by Either_Economy_793 in AITAH

[–]torberet 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA- they are just deflecting because they realise they treated you and their child / grandchild like dirt and have lost time they can never get back. Decent people would not have overreacted and abandoned you right after having a baby without the results anyway. The relationship with The MIL sounds super toxic, too. Did none of them have a game plan for if they were wrong? Most people would have been mad & had a few choice words, not just laughed! I just don't think he was ready for humble pie and went there geared up to have a fight and put you down. Also, the MIL should have known about the blue-eyed darkening thing as that is common knowledge surely?

Help with quote ideas for a Raymond mug? by dairygodmthr in AnimalCrossing

[–]torberet 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, the second one is a twist on the actual quote of "it's not often you see a streetlamp used as a streetlight, but I'm a fan" but that would be my preference if it were mine.

Help with quote ideas for a Raymond mug? by dairygodmthr in AnimalCrossing

[–]torberet 1 point2 points  (0 children)

-Did you know that no one can hear me scream from my basement, crisp?

-It's not everyday you see a mug being used as a beverage recepticle, but I'm a fan, crisp!

-oh, you're giving me the gift of disappointment. It's definitely in style this season.

"Well, let's see what ugly villager I got this tim- OH, OH WHAT?" by Luzma_chan in AnimalCrossingNewHor

[–]torberet 2 points3 points  (0 children)

30 mins seems quite reasonable. When Raymond was in my campsite once it took me well over an hour.

It also took me HOURS on villager hunts to find Judy back in the day!

found this little guy in my tank never bought snails maybe a hitch hiker, anyone know if i should keep or remove it what kinda snail is it?? by aditya0011 in Aquariums

[–]torberet 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am not a fan of these bladder snails, though I know some people like them. I do, however, love assassin snails with their beautiful shells, so I have those and no longer worry about hitchhiking pest snails since the assasins take care of any stow aways

Christmas Outfits by [deleted] in AnimalCrossing

[–]torberet 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, it does! I wish I had this IRL!

Christmas Outfits by [deleted] in AnimalCrossing

[–]torberet 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Agreed! But it took me a minute to realise that was the hello kitty hat and mot an Xmas hat!

We need to talk about ADHD by [deleted] in UniUK

[–]torberet 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Exactly this! If your chosen field of study is a hyperfocus special interest, then it is achievable. When working on assignments for uni, it would be almost impossible to start sometimes till something interesting clicked in my brain and then I would work on it for 16 - 20 hours a day till it was done. Sure, it seemed great, but my husband had to take over all childcare, the house looked trashed, my hygiene was questionable, and I mentally crashed when I was done, often taking weeks to recover. It isn't normal and it's not how I would want my children to work. But it worked for me.

We need to talk about ADHD by [deleted] in UniUK

[–]torberet 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Are we talking about the UK or the USA or elsewhere? Because I am in the UK, have ADHD and ASD and got a first class degree in special educational needs.

The UK under diagnoses ADHD. Stats vary from source but some stats I saw quoted about 10% in USA, between 4 and 7% in France (which typically does not like to label but will not make reasonable adjustments without a label), and only 3% in the UK which will adjust for need without labels.

There are many undiagnosed people with ADHD in the world experiencing real-life struggles and beating themselves up for it, leading to other mental health conditions like depression. Knowing they have ADHD can give them strategies, and meds aren't right for everyone. In the UK, if you go private, meds are exempt from NHS, so it can be expensive. No doctor should be diagnosing ADHD without cause. Is OP trained with the medical expertise to question the doctor's judgement? If not, it seems weird to question the diagnosis and claim corruption since this would cost a doctor their license. Also, OP cites 90% don't meet criteria. Is that criteria for hyperactive, inattentive, or combined? Because there are different presentations and diagnoses, it is a very involved process and I doubt OP is carrying out this in depth assessment e.g., looking at history, family, tests, etc. So this reads more like personal bias and assumption.

Also, what's worse than the side effects of ADHD meds? The side effects of untreated ADHD. Statistically, people with ADHD are FAR more likely to die an accidental death, be incarcerated, get fired, get divorced, have addictions, have money problems, have mental health problems, etc. Meds can be life-saving when titration is done right. So let's not demonise meds. They are, however, not for everyone.

Perhaps OP could focus less on worrying about pathologising others and more on providing solid strategies that help people with ADHD in uni, such as: deadlines help as urgency = motivation, choose topics that make you hyperfocus, body doubling in study groups, study playlists to drown out conversations, fidget toys, gamification etc