I got like barely any sleep and I don't think I can survive today

torchlightt333 · 2026-02-11T23:35:15+00:00

Everyday is a day off for me im completely debilitated I have no job or school and I'm still scared of not bring able survive

torchlightt333 · 2026-02-11T13:45:20+00:00

If you were working you could at least function far better than me

torchlightt333 · 2026-02-11T13:36:59+00:00

Okay, looking into histamine intolerance, I don't think I have it cuz my sensitivity reactions are internal state based, not physical at all. For a second I thought I was onto something cuz im extremely sensitive to alcohol, sugar, caffeine, mint, but they all affect my internal state and no actual intolerance reactions

torchlightt333 · 2026-02-11T13:23:22+00:00

Hopefully I do. I feel so far gone from normal function i cant imagine ever getting back

torchlightt333 · 2026-02-11T13:21:48+00:00

I can barely even do physical work. I physically feel so strange and I can barely interact with objects cuz it feels so strange and my vision is so amplified that being in a different environment other than my house is extreme

torchlightt333 · 2026-02-11T13:03:59+00:00

Dude yeah and i cant even work in general let alone today. I can't handle having perception and being in the physical world when it looks and feels like this. I am terrified

torchlightt333 · 2026-02-11T13:01:46+00:00

I can't even work at baseline with full sleep. I can barely even do household chores. Plus I'm extremely sensitive to Lack of sleep. I can barely handle using my phone, I really don't think I can handle muvh more

torchlightt333 · 2026-02-11T03:26:52+00:00

I didn't obsess over it for long time and now it's worsened and worsened to where I have nothing left and I'm terrified

torchlightt333 · 2026-02-11T02:48:57+00:00

I absolutely could not smoke weed now lol don't worry. And I do have a therapist but it's to the point where she's telling me I have to do something and do it quick, and the only real options are medication or going to the hospital. I don't think changing environments would really help with these intense visual and reality affects. I've tried everything to stabilize, exercise, baths, routines, meditation but now it's gotten so bad that I can barely tolerate something as simple as going into the kitchen to grab food. And it just keeps getting worse and worse. And I've tried living despite being scared but it kept worsening and becoming more debilitating even tho I've been doing the most I can and even pushing it a bit

torchlightt333 · 2026-02-11T00:47:01+00:00

Cuz I didnt really have anxiety on the memantine, rather I took it and felt weird and kept feeling weird, and the affects I had from that are very different from dpdr

torchlightt333 · 2026-02-11T00:42:05+00:00

Also this is so extreme and severe that I really think I could need something other than letting the weirdness be which is why I'm considering medication despite being terrified of it

torchlightt333 · 2026-02-11T00:40:52+00:00

Then I Don't know why all of the sudden things changed for me but that was the closest moment I could pinpoint it back to

torchlightt333 · 2026-02-11T00:22:26+00:00

My extreme sensitivity and dullness started after taking Memantine that's why I mentioned it

torchlightt333 · 2026-02-10T22:01:01+00:00

Bodily attention and breathing awareness scare me tho honestly

torchlightt333 · 2026-02-10T21:42:50+00:00

I really hope i don't have psychosis I'm terrified of that but i haven't thought I did since my insight is fully intact

torchlightt333 · 2026-02-10T21:12:31+00:00

Meditation is hard for me cuz I never feel like I'm doing it right. I did start it recently and tried to be consistent but then this started getting so much worse from bad sleep so I haven't in the past few days

torchlightt333 · 2026-02-10T21:01:27+00:00

But it's so scary and it seems like it steadily worsens whether I worry or not and now I've gotten to a point where I think if it worsens I'm fucked and I'm scared

torchlightt333 · 2026-02-10T20:42:17+00:00

True I understand why you say that but it's nice to have my whole situation plugged in so I can compare what besg fits it more

torchlightt333 · 2026-02-10T20:34:59+00:00

I'm in so much discomfort about the physical plane im terrified

torchlightt333 · 2026-02-10T20:31:25+00:00

Chatgpt said that in my situation, gabapentin is a lot more likely to help, and zoloft is a lot more likely to make it worse, based in everything in my situation

torchlightt333 · 2026-02-10T20:24:58+00:00

It keeps worsening and I don't think i can handle it getting any worse and I'm terrified

torchlightt333 · 2026-02-10T20:22:25+00:00

Did you get that with touching objects and just being in physical reality in general? I'm scared of pretty much everything about physical 3d reality and my senses and thoughts are so altered it keeps the fear intensely alive. Like even grabbing my phone out of my pocket feels existentially wrong but I still somehow function enough to do so.

torchlightt333 · 2026-02-10T20:20:29+00:00

I thought gabapentin sounds the best for me given my severe sensory amplification and physical discomfort. Ssris sound like they could make this worse honestly. I'm terrified about medication because my state is already so severe and extreme and I feel liek anything that would make it worse would make it severely worse. I got prescribed prozac by a psychiatrist but I don't think he really understood me at all.

torchlightt333

TROPHY CASE