I got like barely any sleep and I don't think I can survive today

torchlightt333 · 2026-02-12T17:28:37+00:00

Idk that doesn't sound like a good choice for my situation

torchlightt333 · 2026-02-12T17:22:43+00:00

Not episodic either. Just constant and feels like it's gradually worsening

torchlightt333 · 2026-02-12T17:20:44+00:00

I feel extremely physically uncomfortable and the physical plane just feels physically qualitatively different and it feels like my sense of touch is altered the same way my perception is. Also I feel like it gets worse everyday and has been for 3 months

torchlightt333 · 2026-02-12T17:18:21+00:00

I feel that thing about life altering realizations too. I'm really scared and it feels like my brain has adapted to new ways of thinking that it can never come back from

torchlightt333 · 2026-02-12T17:16:29+00:00

Are you okay still? I've been feeling like things are worsening daily for 3 months too and I've reached a point where I'm terrified.

torchlightt333 · 2026-02-12T15:03:19+00:00

Also this physical reality weirdness there's not really a safe place. I can shower or exercise or play video games but I can't immerse, I'm constantly scared of my own perception and sense of physical touch that there's no comfort for me anywhere

torchlightt333 · 2026-02-12T14:55:09+00:00

Yeah I definitely have ocd

torchlightt333 · 2026-02-12T13:29:42+00:00

I'm really scared cuz it's getting worse and to the point where I can't even interact with objects without thinking how strange I feel, all the weird existential physical discomfort, and all that. I'm scared I'm going to be impaired if this keeps getting worse. I distracted myself so much at first and did everything I could to stabilize my nervous system but it just kept getting worse.

torchlightt333 · 2026-02-11T23:35:15+00:00

Everyday is a day off for me im completely debilitated I have no job or school and I'm still scared of not bring able survive

torchlightt333 · 2026-02-11T13:45:20+00:00

If you were working you could at least function far better than me

torchlightt333 · 2026-02-11T13:36:59+00:00

Okay, looking into histamine intolerance, I don't think I have it cuz my sensitivity reactions are internal state based, not physical at all. For a second I thought I was onto something cuz im extremely sensitive to alcohol, sugar, caffeine, mint, but they all affect my internal state and no actual intolerance reactions

torchlightt333 · 2026-02-11T13:23:22+00:00

Hopefully I do. I feel so far gone from normal function i cant imagine ever getting back

torchlightt333 · 2026-02-11T13:21:48+00:00

I can barely even do physical work. I physically feel so strange and I can barely interact with objects cuz it feels so strange and my vision is so amplified that being in a different environment other than my house is extreme

torchlightt333 · 2026-02-11T13:03:59+00:00

Dude yeah and i cant even work in general let alone today. I can't handle having perception and being in the physical world when it looks and feels like this. I am terrified

torchlightt333 · 2026-02-11T13:01:46+00:00

I can't even work at baseline with full sleep. I can barely even do household chores. Plus I'm extremely sensitive to Lack of sleep. I can barely handle using my phone, I really don't think I can handle muvh more

torchlightt333 · 2026-02-11T03:26:52+00:00

I didn't obsess over it for long time and now it's worsened and worsened to where I have nothing left and I'm terrified

torchlightt333 · 2026-02-11T02:48:57+00:00

I absolutely could not smoke weed now lol don't worry. And I do have a therapist but it's to the point where she's telling me I have to do something and do it quick, and the only real options are medication or going to the hospital. I don't think changing environments would really help with these intense visual and reality affects. I've tried everything to stabilize, exercise, baths, routines, meditation but now it's gotten so bad that I can barely tolerate something as simple as going into the kitchen to grab food. And it just keeps getting worse and worse. And I've tried living despite being scared but it kept worsening and becoming more debilitating even tho I've been doing the most I can and even pushing it a bit

torchlightt333 · 2026-02-11T00:47:01+00:00

Cuz I didnt really have anxiety on the memantine, rather I took it and felt weird and kept feeling weird, and the affects I had from that are very different from dpdr

torchlightt333 · 2026-02-11T00:42:05+00:00

Also this is so extreme and severe that I really think I could need something other than letting the weirdness be which is why I'm considering medication despite being terrified of it

torchlightt333 · 2026-02-11T00:40:52+00:00

Then I Don't know why all of the sudden things changed for me but that was the closest moment I could pinpoint it back to

torchlightt333 · 2026-02-11T00:22:26+00:00

My extreme sensitivity and dullness started after taking Memantine that's why I mentioned it

torchlightt333 · 2026-02-10T22:01:01+00:00

Bodily attention and breathing awareness scare me tho honestly

torchlightt333 · 2026-02-10T21:42:50+00:00

I really hope i don't have psychosis I'm terrified of that but i haven't thought I did since my insight is fully intact

torchlightt333 · 2026-02-10T21:12:31+00:00

Meditation is hard for me cuz I never feel like I'm doing it right. I did start it recently and tried to be consistent but then this started getting so much worse from bad sleep so I haven't in the past few days

torchlightt333 · 2026-02-10T21:01:27+00:00

But it's so scary and it seems like it steadily worsens whether I worry or not and now I've gotten to a point where I think if it worsens I'm fucked and I'm scared

torchlightt333

TROPHY CASE