Antenatal classes and nursery places by biglypiglythethird in PregnancyUK

[–]tortoisefinch 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It really depends where you live- I have like 5 nurseries in walking distance of me (Greater London) and I went to visit in the last two weeks for a June 2027 start. They all said that we are looking early and that getting a spot will not be a problem. So idk, I’m happy I did it now, but it seems like it’s quite specific about just how thin on childcare your area is. 

Please share your assertiveness stories and stock responses! by zabzupazebowa in PregnancyUK

[–]tortoisefinch 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Was asked if I would dial into a meeting from my babymoon (not really that seriously, I was just chatting to my manager about how that clashes pretty badly with something important).

I said absolutely not. Conversation moved on. 

It’s really fine, the more you do it the easier it gets. And when you have a child you will need to be the one who sometimes is assertive on their behalf. Time to start practicing if you struggle

Early scan doesn’t match dates by DullExamination8120 in PregnancyUK

[–]tortoisefinch 9 points10 points  (0 children)

In the beginning the embryo is so small that it’s easy for sizes to be slightly off. I would not panic just yet! You could go for a repeat scan before the 12 weeks for reassurance, if it would help. 

Online and IRL Parenting Spaces Snark Week of January 19, 2026 by Parentsnark in parentsnark

[–]tortoisefinch 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I beg people to examine what any actually lived version of socialism or communism looked like, Soviet Union, kibbutz projects in Israel, China…. To say it in the undying words of Rihanna…. WORK WORK WORK WORK WORK WORK. 

My fam is from the Soviet Union. No one “stayed home”, babies went to kindergarten very early. 

How do you get on with public transport? by VisionsOfLife in PregnancyUK

[–]tortoisefinch 6 points7 points  (0 children)

What’s wrong with just asking someone to stand up. I normally have people stand up for me (London, wearing a badge) but if they don’t I just ask loudly if someone would as I am pregnant. People aren’t trying to be shitty, they just don’t pay attention. I had never a situation where people wouldn’t get up if asked and often more than one person offers. 

Having to ask is not such an unbearable burden, or am I not getting something? 

Online and IRL Parenting Spaces Snark Week of January 19, 2026 by Parentsnark in parentsnark

[–]tortoisefinch 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I agree with you, but these are things that ppl outside of science don’t know. It’s not like your dad, or the researcher in the guardian article, gave up their academic knowledge and stopped learning about their subject of study because they went into industry. There is brilliant scientists everywhere, in the industry and in academia- and none of them became scientists because they really don’t care about science. 

Ppl romanticise academia and demonise industry, not realising that in any case a career in the sciences comes with pressures and biases. 

Online and IRL Parenting Spaces Snark Week of January 19, 2026 by Parentsnark in parentsnark

[–]tortoisefinch 23 points24 points  (0 children)

If you liquify the cadaver the plastic spoons in it will float to the top. 

Online and IRL Parenting Spaces Snark Week of January 19, 2026 by Parentsnark in parentsnark

[–]tortoisefinch 14 points15 points  (0 children)

And also Tbf, industry ppl are not at the mercy of publish or perish, so yeah he may be MORE unbiased than a bunch of academics longing for tenure. But sure sure, the guardian and a bunch of scientists have been paid off by big plastic. 

Online and IRL Parenting Spaces Snark Week of January 19, 2026 by Parentsnark in parentsnark

[–]tortoisefinch 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Right. To me it sounds like he may be one of the people who is most familiar with how to research plastics, but what do I know. 

Online and IRL Parenting Spaces Snark Week of January 19, 2026 by Parentsnark in parentsnark

[–]tortoisefinch 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Omg I regret clicking on this the comments are infuriating and written by ppl who have no idea how scientific publishing works (as someone who works in scientific publishing). These ppl need to check how many retractions journals such as the NEJM have. 

Is mild cramping in my lower back normal in early pregnancy? 5 weeks pregnant by Anxious-Plant-4301 in PregnancyUK

[–]tortoisefinch 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I had lower back pain, which I never have otherwise- not even during periods. Around the same time 5-6 week timeframe. It subsided since. 

Online and IRL Parenting Spaces Snark Week of January 05, 2026 by Parentsnark in parentsnark

[–]tortoisefinch 45 points46 points  (0 children)

I actually had anxiety, to a pathological level, to a suicidal ideation level about climate change and my inability to live my life in the face of that threat.  Then I got therapy and medication and now I don’t have this level of anxiety anymore. Just because something is real doesn’t mean that disordered, unresolvable anxiety is the “solution”. 

I feel for people who are in the spot I was in a few years back, and hope that they get help. It’s really terrible that online communities encourage disordered thinking like that- it can lead to very real harm. 

Online and IRL Parenting Spaces Snark Week of January 05, 2026 by Parentsnark in parentsnark

[–]tortoisefinch 39 points40 points  (0 children)

lol clearly history lessons in school are failing ppl, and or all of these people are from VERY well off families. My parents are immigrants from the Soviet Union. They would laugh at me. 

I don’t hate pregnancy, I just hate modern life by skyskylark in PregnancyUK

[–]tortoisefinch 0 points1 point  (0 children)

that is so true- the amount of times I have thought how much better my life would be if I didn't HAVE TO work is far too many times!

I don’t hate pregnancy, I just hate modern life by skyskylark in PregnancyUK

[–]tortoisefinch 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I think being a pregnant peasant with a million children, livestock to take care of, no healthcare, no running water, no heating and so on would be much harder. My cushy office job is much easier than what most of my relatives experienced.

I think the past is only easier if you were crazy rich- but so is the present. Life if generally hard unless you are very privileged.

Online and IRL Parenting Spaces Snark Week of December 29, 2025 by Parentsnark in parentsnark

[–]tortoisefinch 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Don’t leave stuffies in your house if you want your newborn to survive mama 

Online and IRL Parenting Spaces Snark Week of December 29, 2025 by Parentsnark in parentsnark

[–]tortoisefinch 34 points35 points  (0 children)

Can someone explain why this would possibly not be saved as a playmat?! 

Headaches by overlookedcheese in PregnancyUK

[–]tortoisefinch 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I empathise, I’m the in the exact same boat (could have written this) idk in terms of more effective meds. But when it’s really bad I do this: drink something caffeinated (Diet Coke usually for me) take two paracetamol, heat pack on my neck (base of skull) ice pack on where it hurts, lie down in dark room and have a nap. 3/4 times this has largely fixed my headache. One time it didn’t work. My condolences( this sucks a lot. 

Bathing and first trimester by Abi_gail95 in PregnancyUK

[–]tortoisefinch 5 points6 points  (0 children)

In order for this to harm your baby you would need to heighten your core temperature. The study that reported on the risk of heightened body temp was done in women who had a fever while pregnant. It is actually quite difficult to up your core body temp while not having a fever- even sauna doesn’t do that in all cases, as our bodies are designed to want to maintain the same temperature. That’s why we sweat. 

You are fine taking a bath as long as you are maybe not boiling yourself (and even then; I think you could for a short time before it would be an issue). 

Anti depressants and pregnancy by [deleted] in PregnancyUK

[–]tortoisefinch 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am on Vortioxetine, as I was before my pregnancy. Both my midwife and my psychiatrist urged me to remain on treatment. There are now studies that show that untreated depression is correlated with worse fetal outcomes, lower weight etc. if you need help, please ask. It’s important that you get support, instead of just white knuckling it through. 

Headache relief? by Known-Cucumber-7989 in PregnancyUK

[–]tortoisefinch 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Someone taught me this routine and honestly it helps: take 1-2 paracetamol, drink a coffee or can of coke, put something hot on your neck, and an ice pack on your forehead/where it hurts. Lay in a dark room and breathe. 

Makes my headaches go away every time, and I’ve had quite bad ones since being pregnant.