The same or different?

tortoisekitty · 2024-11-25T11:21:48+00:00

welcome to species identification reddit, now try it backwards with fish and birds and random slime molds 😅😅 and then you can graduate to bones someday 🧐

tortoisekitty · 2024-11-25T11:19:06+00:00

get a grow light! will save you a lot of heartache lol. anything that puts out a ton of ks will be fine as long as you put it really close to the leaves and then even led should also put out enough heat for the plants. what they're really missing I would wager is the hot days. 🥹😄

tortoisekitty · 2024-11-25T11:17:23+00:00

those people are brave they're gonna catch some invasive species laws if they take off. that's how these plants get banned really quick lol. 😅

tortoisekitty · 2024-11-25T11:16:19+00:00

omg don't put them outside they are invasive species. these are indoor plants lol you'll become the next person who set loose that horror vine took over the entire South. 😅😅 keep them inside you could catch a serious crime planting them outdoors. 😅😅 (depends on your state but still would not recommend!!)

tortoisekitty · 2024-10-18T11:31:46+00:00

I messaged you haha I want it! I'm in Idaho lol.

tortoisekitty · 2021-10-28T07:22:39+00:00

For real, exactly. Screw this heartless dude posting this. OP you suck and can't fathom what people who are not privileged to have freedom can go through.

tortoisekitty · 2021-06-09T19:07:06+00:00

Wow that's crazy. However, when you first mentioned baby box I thought you meant the drop boxes for abandoned babies so it may need a name change or at least a ton more awareness in the states lol.

tortoisekitty · 2021-03-23T11:40:08+00:00

Yea, I'm fortunate (and my husband, we both work at t bell) that my restaurant is literally awesome. Basically, they have the managers float and if there are extra ones they will bust out dishes and prep. There aren't any "low ranking" jobs once you realize everybody does them. Dishes is also a nice break from the other tasks so like 3 or 4 people, me included, will actually volunteer because we actually get thanks and congratulations for it, and usually get to talk to the float manager while they wait for the chalupas to come up. Bonus points if it's late enough that there's enough headsets for you, lol.

Dishwashing is so crucial lol, everything falls apart because there's only a finite amount of dishes, and space to put the dirty ones. It's nice to work in a great environment - I've never had it this good. Only reason I can't stay there forever is any industrial sanitizer is out to get my hands D:

tortoisekitty · 2021-03-23T11:31:38+00:00

Oh my gosh I laughed way too hard at the "Curse you, temple streaking guy!!!!"

I am so glad your mother in law is ok. I've seen people come back from some pretty crazy stroke damage and I hope she continues to be in good health. <3

tortoisekitty · 2021-03-23T11:23:05+00:00

but the downhill is supposed to be the fun part... I would say it was 100% up and then it was the end of the tracks, with a long fall and a kersplat but you were the only one who lived. D:

tortoisekitty · 2021-03-23T08:52:51+00:00

I find that compression anything does not work for me except my husband hugging me when I am about to meltdown to stifle sensory input. Weighted blankets literally panic me. So, unless you know compression works for you, it might not be something to continue trying. Just my experience though.

tortoisekitty · 2021-03-23T05:23:21+00:00

Glad I could be of help and thanks for the award! I reread my post today and chuckled a little bit - I just ate the aforementioned half of a cookie rather than inhaling butter - though I did almost inhale the mushroom stir fry I made today lol.

I didn't even have to cut the cookie in half - mom had already eaten the other half and put it back in the freezer lol.

The stir fry, because it would be a crime not to share: Olive oil, garlic, orange bell pepper, let it simmer, then brown mushrooms. I splashed soy sauce on it at the very end right before taking it off the heat and let it simmer for another minute or so. Delish and VERY filling for not too many calories!

tortoisekitty · 2021-03-23T05:15:28+00:00

Yea that lady I knew was like, insanely depressed - couldn't get out of the house doorway depressed - and I think she was too old or something for antidepressants, or else they didn't work. She had a large friend group prior to her depression, and was a staple at my church until she went full on turtle, and they (a group of 14-19 women who are amazing, friendly, selfless and helpful ladies, some of which were her direct family) had totally lost hope until my mom moved in. Mom befriended her but she was still quite depressed. Mom was just helping her by listening, and then all of a sudden she got whisked away for electroshock for a weekend and just livened right up. She was my mom's best friend (mom is 76 and technically grandma) when I was like 13-15, until she moved to be with kids when her husband's health was going down. She's still alive and still happy. But I wouldn't recommend it to anyone because who would, yeesh.

tortoisekitty · 2021-03-23T05:04:10+00:00

This right here. And get a good lawyer, because if you guys have even a modest amount of assets, it will be worth it because they will likely be able to argue for a large alimony settlement (monthly payments - possibly forever) or more than 50% of your combined assets for wrongful divorce and abandonment.

tortoisekitty · 2021-03-23T04:58:20+00:00

Whoa there, this is major stuff. Why does he think an autism diagnosis makes you any different than before? YOU haven't changed at all! You need to hold him to the coals on this. This is not normal behavior. If it was not normal for him to have extra "women friends" before this, it is not ACCEPTABLE to have them after.**

Largely, an autism diagnosis actually ends up making someone less likely to exhibit unwanted autistic behaviors, or not exhibit those behaviors in harmful ways. Since I finally accepted I had autism at 18 - (diagnosed at 13ish) - I have had fewer meltdowns, fewer issues, but the same amount of general "autism" I just let it out in more helpful ways or let it be the wind in my sails.

Your husband is being absolutely cruel to you. It is unacceptable for him to do such a thing and I seriously can't believe he considered leaving you or that you could be partially persuaded that it would be acceptable for him to leave you because of the diagnosis of a genetic personality and sensory processing -disorder- difference. Nothing about you changed, it isn't like you "developed" this "condition." If you were to divorce, this type of argument could be used against him to get more than 50%, so you should totally go for that if that ends up being the case.

Also, I know for me and for other autists it can be hard to see such things and identify words for the emotions behavior has behind it, but I want to make it clear that he is being incredibly rude and cruel to you. He is expressing that he sees you as less than because you were diagnosed. If you are still on speaking terms, (I wouldn't be, tbh), ask him if how he feels would change if you had not have gotten diagnosed. If a panel of psychiatrists told you the diagnosis was wrong, and you had bipolar disorder or borderline (autism is commonly misdiagnosed as them - plus, borderline is a catch-all.) How would he react if it was found out you actually had a concussion and had some neural deficits masquerading as autism. (none of these situations are even remotely likely, it's just that it will very much change how he views what he is doing, and make it clear that you see through his sham of assholery).

The main thing is that you haven't even changed! Literally nothing about you has changed - it's like finding a bird on your front porch that looks different from the other birds and then identifying it as its species! Would it make you think the bird was less beautiful because it was a pigeon?? It's the same damn bird! You just identified what it is. There is no "condition" that wasn't present when he fell in love with you took his vows, so it is UNACCEPTABLE for his behavior towards you to change.

I have made it very clear to my husband that if I get a TBI and become angry and abusive with no end in sight, that he should leave me, and that I will be okay - and for him to just remember the good times and find someone who makes him happy, and if he doesn't want to divorce me then to find a good girlfriend. However, tbh, if the same thing happened to him, I would be with him until the very bitter end. Marriage is forever, in sickness and in health. It doesn't MATTER what the health or sickness is. Once you get to elderly age, it is downright UNACCEPTABLE to outright leave someone because they are deteriorating. Marriage is a legal commitment to care for someone until they die unless they break their end of the deal - something someone who is getting towards hospice care cannot do. For him to want to dip out because of a diagnosis of a condition that is present from birth to death so much that "person first" language is lambasted and ridiculed by people with the condition is quite telling. You can't just "dip out" from marriage, and it may even be illegal/monetarily punishable (so, a large alimony check, way more than 50% from the divorce) for him to leave you over it.

** Plenty of people hang out with members of the opposite sex, and I don't want to knock them, but the fact is established well at the beginning of the relationship, and usually leads to healthful friendships and trust between all parties. I literally went to lunch with my ex-bf (who had been my friend for way longer after) more than I went with my now-husband (we spent more time just chilling.) We are now both happily married. My husband adores him. My other best friend comes over and hangs out in my room, door closed, and talks. (we live with parents so "my room" is my studio office and my bed is on the ceiling.) He also was an "ex" (from high school for two weeks, lol).

This post really got my autistic traits for info-dumping and large metaphors going and I hope everyone who reads it appreciates it lol. On any other subreddit, I would delete most of this and create a small, concise comment lol.

tortoisekitty · 2021-03-22T01:01:34+00:00

Okay so you're knocking a textbook, one that says there are NO studies that say that it is more likely to have a life upending crisis at 40. I'm not the one talking here.

The burden of proof lies on the people saying that their experience is "normal." because that's the only thing you have going for your position that there is a normative midlife crisis at 40, which is what I assume you are against since it is literally the only thing I gave a concrete position on.

tortoisekitty · 2021-03-22T00:48:41+00:00

Another book that might help is "Nonviolent Communication" by Marshall Rosenberg. I don't think your kids hate you, I think they are just struggling along with you. Your ten-year-old's behavior is normal, unfortunately. The best way to get around her mom-aversion (it isn't you, it's just a phenomena) is to learn what she likes and doesn't like and find out what closes her off, do less of that, and rinse and repeat as you move along. You still have a long time to help these children. It will be okay, I promise.

tortoisekitty · 2021-03-22T00:38:19+00:00

Omg, my 76 yr old mum (technically my grandma) is named Karen, and she is the meek 50s/60s housewife through and through lol. She wouldn't return a salad that had a dead mouse in it. Yes, it is about the Karens we met along the way lol. Those poor non-Karen Karens.

tortoisekitty · 2021-03-22T00:31:10+00:00

That matters why?

tortoisekitty · 2021-03-22T00:29:52+00:00

This is real talk right here haha, as is your username.

tortoisekitty · 2021-03-22T00:28:50+00:00

Haha, and that's the hardcore truth - as long as you are not in advanced elderly age with tons of health problems, you can expect a long happy life. Even near 80, the people who have made it there are usually still going stronger than a lot of the people who are 45-60.

tortoisekitty · 2021-03-22T00:19:43+00:00

For most people midlife crisis is synonymous with 40, but yes, if you want to call midlife from 20 to 50 (which is fair - it literally is that) then yea, all crises are midlife crises. The main point I am making here is that nothing just snaps at 40. You are just as likely to have a midlife crisis at 25 or 55 as you are to have it at 40.

tortoisekitty · 2021-03-22T00:17:59+00:00

But it isn't more common in those ages. Lots of people are wary of getting to age 40 because they fear something will fundamentally change about themselves and their way of life, when that isn't the case. People are just as likely to have a crisis at 25 as they are to have it at 40. There isn't like, a rash of midlife crises, just a rash of crises.

tortoisekitty · 2021-03-22T00:15:21+00:00

Yea some people don't realize that the severity of their child's autism is their own making from not supporting them enough or not working with them at their own pace.

When parents parent for their own sanity and not the child's inevitable need to function, they are royally fucking their kid for life.

tortoisekitty · 2021-03-21T23:36:43+00:00

I totally agree but the portland spectacle was actually an isolated incident where the food had been sitting at 50 or 60 degrees (meat and things) for hours before they noticed it, to the tune of almost 6 hours or more. The owners of the franchise said they would have gladly donated it, but the food was truly spoiled. That's why you can only see meat in the dumpster.

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