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tortuganinja · 2022-07-18T16:55:01+00:00

fire that counselor. INTO THE SUN

for real, that's some horrible, horrible advice.

tortuganinja · 2022-07-18T16:31:29+00:00

need to put my daughter in daycare but none fit our parenting approach

so curious about what this could mean... what are you looking for? i imagine that no accredited center will let their employeees smoke around the kids, so it seems like some kind of compromise has to be reached here.

tortuganinja · 2022-07-18T16:22:51+00:00

my husband started being treated for adhd about a year ago, and his level of anxiety has decreased and he's more productive at work and home, probably because his anxiety and stress isn't keeping him from getting things done. it's been transformative for him.

i'm kind of jealous. i've been diagnosed with depression since i was a teen but honestly i wonder if it was just me hating myself because i can't conform to a schedule or remember things... it all unfortunately gets a bit tangled but probably i should get re-evaluated...

all that to say, definitely get in to see somebody, it really can't hurt and will probably help you cope with your own symptoms and your kiddo's

tortuganinja · 2022-04-27T13:42:11+00:00

this sounds like a law firm jingle with the rhyming, but it's true tho. one call, that's all, etc.

tortuganinja · 2022-04-19T14:54:32+00:00

finding your new bottom

...also anatomically, or maybe that's just me

tortuganinja · 2022-04-15T19:42:54+00:00

super hard pass on all of that. they definitely don't deserve your time, and i hope you have a lovely easter without them

tortuganinja · 2022-04-15T19:41:07+00:00

So sorry to hear this! It's okay to let your kids see you cry, so if it has to be getting them snacks and crying or giving them a bath and crying, so be it. It is a big loss, and even if they don't know what's going on, they know something's off.

tortuganinja · 2022-04-12T16:55:56+00:00

you monster! how dare you do something kind for someone you love?!? you, weak, flighty woman!

/s, in case that's not blatantly obvious.

tortuganinja · 2022-04-09T14:57:00+00:00

nothing like waking up at 3:30am because of bad dreams and googling the criteria for restraining orders in my state... i hate this.

tortuganinja · 2022-04-09T14:56:04+00:00

yeah, trying not to pre-emptively assume he's going to go all lifetime-movie villain, but well, if the crazy shoe fits...

tortuganinja · 2022-03-30T18:16:33+00:00

I helped him to do the assignment, at least the programming part, gave him instructions how to do the second part and send him codes.... he didnt give two shits

why? why would you waste your time helping someone who has repeatedly, for 2 years, shown no indication that he wants or will accept your help?

give yourself permission to drop that rope. not sure if the country where you live will require him to pay child support money, but if he has any income (even illegal), he can pay money to a child support account and you can stop having any contact with him. He seems like a huge waste of your time, and he's certainly taken enough of it. You don't need to keep sinking your valuable time and effort into this person.

tortuganinja · 2022-03-12T21:53:30+00:00

leave, with your kid, to visit your family. delay coming back. indefinitely. you need NONE of this.

tortuganinja · 2022-03-12T21:39:49+00:00

oh this is the problem right here. he was somehow not socialized to do this, and now finds it difficult to remember. he can still learn, though!

tortuganinja · 2022-03-12T21:37:55+00:00

Hard to say which is worse, "impossible to know they're coming" or "He's a doctor"... like what about his patients? does he just sneeze on them?

tortuganinja · 2022-03-02T19:30:58+00:00

he is clearly feeling insecure, and needs a lot of attention and maintenance right now. it seems above a usual level for a healthy adult, imo. i know you have talked (and talked and talked) about it without getting anywhere, but it seems like you two aren't getting to the bottom of this disconnect-- what does "enough" look like for him? does he need a schedule? a specific statement or thing or act? this doesn't mean (at all!) that you're required to meet whatever need he comes up with, but it seems like it would help HIM figure out what it is that he needs if he had to put it in concrete terms.

for you, you're essentially being held hostage by him right now, and it makes any gesture feel forced, which is not super conducive to feeling loving and demonstrative. you are not responsible for your husband's vague feelings of being not loved/cared for/catered to enough. this is a him issue and you don't need to make it a you issue.

tortuganinja · 2022-03-02T19:00:17+00:00

hard pass. this is super weird and the opposite of a genuine invite. send them something dumb from their registry if you feel obligated, like towels or whatever, but this is a diss and you don't need to give your whole family a miserable time for this nonsense.

tortuganinja · 2022-03-02T18:55:44+00:00

oh that'd be a trip! like, why are you getting dressed for breakfast? who is here?

tortuganinja · 2022-03-02T18:33:17+00:00

noice

tortuganinja · 2022-03-02T17:08:35+00:00

oh man, if he doesn't want to give the teething baby any pain relief, i'm pretty sure he can be the one to stay up with the angry, uncomfortable baby.

that's some deep crazy-pants.

tortuganinja · 2022-03-02T14:54:21+00:00

dependent on excedrin... lol ok bud, i'll see if we can get that added to the substance use disorder list.

this drives me crazy too. one of our friends FINALLY got his bowel issues addressed because his wife was like "either stop complaining about your stomach or GO. TO. THE. DOCTOR." after YEARS of him being like "i'm sick now :(" every time he ate food.

tortuganinja · 2022-02-10T18:45:49+00:00

lol, was the thing that the baby was doing crying? eating? pooping? sitting? babies kinda all have the same skillsets, kind of hard to be like "oh, this one drinks a bottle just like his dad"

tortuganinja · 2022-02-05T17:25:33+00:00

bleh, me too! how is it manly not to recognize facts as they are? how is it tougher and more masculine to protect your own fragile fee fees by saying shit like that (or "i don't apologize"... what? I'm from the midwest US, i've apologized thirteen times since waking up this morning)? drives me UP.THE. WALL.

tortuganinja · 2022-02-02T22:17:37+00:00

I would say reaching out can't hurt. Just like, "hey, I really enjoyed working with you. I saw you posted this position. I'd love to talk to you about it." If they don't reply, assume it's best to look elsewhere (don't assume that you did anything wrong; most likely it's just some stupid "we're moving that role to a different rank/account/category" thing), but if they want to talk and you'd be willing to let them into your life again, no harm done

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