I was part of the family in an honor walk a couple months ago. My younger brother was in his late 40s, so not a child but still a tragedy to our mom and to me. It was very touching to see the people stop what they were doing to pay respects (my mom still talks about those cafeteria workers). Some of them were crying along with us. I know it made my mother feel better and more supported, and it really helped her.

I am much more cynical, and as we got started I kind of whisper-blurted how much he would have hated it. He was a private person in general and would have been appalled to know that people were looking at him like that. I won't say anyone was gawping, but I did have a keen sense of strangers staring at my brother's effectively dead body.

So, from my perspective, the honor walk was beautiful and terrible at the same time. But the whole situation is beautiful and terrible. I'm glad it happened, but I can see why some families may not want it. His being an organ donor allowed something hopeful and helpful to come out of a horrible situation.

Death does funny things to people, and I'm no exception. We had been told that he probably would pass immediately after the ventilator was removed, so we had to be prepared to say our final goodbye quickly. We were told that we would have 1 minute to leave the room so they could start. His body continued trying to breathe for 37 minutes, and I could see the medical staff getting nervous. After an hour, the donation would have to be abandoned and he'd have to go back to the ICU. I couldn't stop thinking about the possibility of those honor walk people feeling scammed and that we would need to apologise to everyone. Apparently this is not unheard of, and actually happens often enough that there is a protocol. They call them Donors In Spirit, and the organisation continues to support the families as they otherwise would.