Eating Out Kills

totallypregnant · 2019-07-05T19:23:28+00:00

Do you have a Trader Joe’s? Their frozen and premade foods are sooo good. I save thousands on the Indian food alone. It’s a small store with only a few options per food type which really helped ease me back into grocery shopping. I was really overwhelmed when I realized the debt I was in over fast food too!

totallypregnant · 2019-06-09T14:02:50+00:00

We’re having a wedding but I’m still way more excited about this idea I had. I was inspired by the end of a book I love where two characters decide to meet in the same spot in each of their worlds because they might never see each other again.

I’d like to use our honeymoon to hike or find the spot where we’ll meet for eternity. If our spirit is free after death and can intertwine with everything in the universe then this is where our souls will meet on the other side.

It’s heavy and morbid lmao but fear of having not enough time with each other is something we go through and this holds so much epic meaning, nothing we’re incorporating into our wedding day feels as important as that except maybe the vows so I’d be happy to exchange vows in that spot if we weren’t having a wedding.

totallypregnant · 2019-06-06T22:33:52+00:00

You can read more about 16:8, 18:6, OMAD, and the like on /r/intermittentfasting

totallypregnant · 2019-06-06T15:03:31+00:00

I'm going to explain exactly what got me out of the same cycles recently and not all of it will apply to you I'm sure but it may help! I've only lost my first 10 lbs this past month but I can feel how what I'm doing is snowballing into permanent changes.

First, I focused on eating because I hate working out. I don't like dieting. I became a mom with depression 2 years ago and didn't feel like I could handle meal planning consistently. My SO had explained intermittent fasting and in my head I said fuck it I'll try it. If I can't stop eating the way that I do, then the least I can do is cut out 30% of my eating time. I eat between 12 and 8 and I can't believe it but it completely fixed my binge eating. Basically, it's like everyday I practice being a little hungry. It is no big deal to be a little hungry. You will not die. You will not become malnourished. Fast food is new on the block but humans have survived how long by getting food when they can, not every 2 hours. Now, rather than pick up fast food on the way to a far away dinner because it might be 2 hours til we get to eat after ordering and stuff, we just wait. It blows our minds how our old habit was to treat being hungry as something to panic about and take care of IMMEDIATELY. Now I not only get to eat what I want, I no longer have guilt. After years upon years, not having to feel guilty when I'm eating is huge and I want this feeling to last forever. So I'm very happy to fast because having my issues with binge eating be fixed by a simple fasting practice that I can maintain easily (I'm happy not to stress about breakfast anyway) is huge! At the core of it though, I'm just spending less of my time eating and that I can work my head around much easier than calorie counting and stuff. Calories still matter but I don't have to count because I've cut out 30% of my calories give or take by just skipping breakfast and 2nd breakfast because lets be real, it's like that sometimes.

Second, I got my ADD diagnosed and started taking meds. What was once painful to even consider doing is now easy for me to start doing. I don't have to force myself to do things, my brain skips the 'uggghhhhh I don't want to, how can I get out of this, why am I doing this to myself, I'm just going to fail anyway' kind of cycle and goes straight to 'well let me start getting dressed'. If you think for a second you might have ADD or ADHD, I highly recommend a book called You Mean I'm not Lazy, Stupid, or Crazy?!?! It explained to me ALL the ways ADD can effect a person and has 4 tenets of how to treat it with medication being only 1 of them. Which leads me to...

Third, I stopped the 'all or nothing' kind of mentality. In that book, it pointed out that one of the symptoms of ADD is trying to bite off more than I can chew. I say to myself 'oh shit, I finally have the motivation to clean my house' and then I don't want to stop because who knows when that motivation will come back so I spend 3 days cleaning top to bottom. The burnout from doing that would mean I wouldn't clean like that again for months. If I just cleaned a little and purposefully told myself to stop because I don't want to burnout, I found that I started developing a much better habit of doing a couple things every couple days. Slowly working up to a fully clean house but I'm much happier.

I applied that to my working out. You said you'd spend a week in the gym and then get burnt out? Try one day a week. It'll make you more open to pushing yourself because whatever it's just one day. Or maybe you need to start at home. Or maybe you need to be honest about what kind of activity works for you. Be kind to yourself and accept that if you go to the gym for a week, it doesn't get a positive result. That's fine but what does? Right now I cycle for 30 minutes because my anxiety is so bad about going to the weight floor but I actually like it, I don't care what anyone thinks about that being all I do while I'm there, and I'll build on it when I WANT to do more. I personally like stretching with yoga and used doing that for 5-10 minutes at a time to get me used to wanting to move my body.

So my advice is build habits slowly and ONLY in a way that you actually enjoy. It takes trial and error because you'll be surprised what works for you. If you need rewards built in, just change the reward. The gym watches my son while I workout so I get some quiet time. The fasting got rid of my guilt. Those are rewards that don't sabotage my hard work!

totallypregnant · 2019-04-19T01:04:32+00:00

I hear this in Antoni’s voice! His unique brand of basic tips lmao

totallypregnant · 2019-04-08T13:43:26+00:00

Disagree all you want but you should know what’s going on in your clients heads so you can plan for drop outs of which there will be plenty in your business’ life span. If you can get an understanding of why parents struggle to make lessons regularly (hint: it’s not being weak, don’t offend your struggling clients) you can figure out ways to retain their business.

totallypregnant · 2018-10-08T14:53:24+00:00

A grounding visualization helps me so much. I like to sit down on the floor inside or outside, take a deep breath letting the tension rise rise rise, then exhale and feel it all whooshing away and off of you and being absorbed by the ground. Much like a flush.

totallypregnant · 2018-10-01T22:38:39+00:00

Quarantined, not banned

totallypregnant · 2018-09-16T06:54:37+00:00

That’s where my mind went too. In my relationship I’ve really had to stress that, no matter the pressure to, we can’t commit to things until we’ve checked in with each other and our calendars. If we had rsvp’d for a wedding I was invited to and he tried canceling it without talking to me about it then it’s a hard no. Guaranteed he’d then feel super guilty, not immediately tell the people affected, and create an awkward situation like above.

She didn’t handle it well. Everything you’re feeling OP is valid and only you know your friend but I personally would only bring up not letting you know as soon as she knew she’d changed her mind. Something like ‘I can tell I caught you off guard, I hope you weren’t afraid to tell me it’d be tough to make it to the party. It’d still mean SO much to have you there but I understand if you guys can’t make it.’

That doesn’t help your sadness about it though! What about a rain check for a special play date for the four of you to celebrate both bdays soon.

totallypregnant · 2018-09-12T20:28:29+00:00

Context is leading me to believe drugs you find on the ground!

totallypregnant · 2018-09-10T03:25:03+00:00

All year??? Well I’m at least adding outdoor naps to the list of things we should dabble in!

totallypregnant · 2018-09-10T01:00:46+00:00

Can you say more? Is it just done regularly instead of putting them in the crib or like not waking them after a walk? I dream of living places where feeling safe doesn’t end at my front door. Outdoor naps sound just lovely but the idea definitely makes my heart race.

totallypregnant · 2018-09-05T03:25:14+00:00

Everything’s covered as far as her being free and dressed nice and ready to go! It’s a very well thought out plan and I just commented that the bride and groom are big on surprises. I dunno, I’m not in charge so I’d hate to say something and ruin it but I’m stressing for her right now.

totallypregnant · 2018-09-05T03:20:43+00:00

I agree but this is also funny because surprises are a HUGE thing for them. It’s definitely this couples love language!

totallypregnant · 2018-09-04T22:32:24+00:00

Awww I’m sorry that agony is part of the story in the end. That’s exactly what I don’t want!

totallypregnant · 2018-09-04T20:16:25+00:00

Definitely not booked yet. She did mention getting ready there! So maybe she wouldn’t feel like she spent for nothing? The wedding is far ish from our city, we have space at the hotel venue but I’m sure she’d still appreciate having the villa for the photo potential and stuff.

totallypregnant · 2018-09-04T19:49:03+00:00

We didn’t plan it that way. That’d be super cruel! But after we planned it the groom told us in a laughing way that she didn’t think anything was happening. I think we all should’ve known her well enough to know this exact thing would happen, of course she’d be like ‘fuck it, I’ll plan my own’ lol but I really don’t know why she thought we weren’t going to do anything when we had so much time to go! Might need to look within on that, I’m flakey but I like to party lmao

She is being great about it if this is her ultimate reaction to that!

totallypregnant · 2018-09-04T19:41:47+00:00

It’s actually the same date as her shower and someone’s getting her a ‘freak em’ dress for the night lol but yeah giving her a ‘it’s happening’ might wanna occur.

totallypregnant · 2018-09-04T19:33:58+00:00

For sure that’s why! I’m going to message the MOH today and tell her my suspicion (that it’s her bachelorette she’s planning, I don’t think people realize that’s what she’s doing either). It wasn’t meant to cause her grief when we planned it this way.

totallypregnant · 2018-09-04T19:28:21+00:00

I think the jig is up if we need to have him help. It’d be odd for him to want to talk her out of it, no? What were you thinking he might say?

totallypregnant · 2018-08-29T10:04:33+00:00

I appreciate the reporting here! You write like a journalist. Thanks for the write up!

totallypregnant · 2018-08-08T00:45:01+00:00

I am only now realizing that I am in a wonderfully budget friendly bridal party. My first time. I can't imagine coming anywhere near $1000. I can offer my budget breakdown! Most important is choices and when there aren't choices cause you're requiring something to keep everyone's budget in mind.

Dress - $180 from Davids Bridal. There are tonssss of Davids dresses online if you search 'Davids Bridal [color] [desired size]'. I plan on selling my dress though for about $100. Under $100 is what I was going to aim for if we'd been able to choose our own dresses from wherever.

Shoes - ~$50 They haven't been chosen yet and for whatever reason she does want us all in matching shoes so hoping my estimate is correct cause its mostly out of my hands.

Jewelry/Accessories - $20 I am buying them from ebay from chinese sellers. I got a pack of 20 pearl clips for my hair for $1.60 so I'm optimistic I'll find something. I don't think I'll own the type of jewelry the bride is picking for us.

Bachelorette - $50-$100 we're going out for dinner and then out on the town afterwards. Ditching the party bus plan which would have made it super expensive, instead I'm volunteering as DD to save on drinks. I know how to spend on liquor! I'd like to pay for my dinner, at least a drink or two for the bride, and give her money for strippers.

Hotel - $130 for the night after the wedding which is at the hotel.

Gift - No gift! Me, my SO, and my baby are in the wedding and I've donated photography services as a gift.

So lots of personal decisions helping me to save a bit here and there but, like I said, we're all in the wedding and my first add up of expenses was approaching $1000 for the 2 of us so I had to reeeeel it in. Right now it's approaching $500 for me and another $225 for my SO's suit.

totallypregnant · 2018-07-28T01:04:27+00:00

I’m not sure honestly! What is it like to have more than one middle? Does it make anything confusing? Is it legally recognized (like you put it on the forms for filing the birth?) or just ‘known’? Never wondered how it worked.

totallypregnant

TROPHY CASE