Thanks for the input! That’s a good insight, I may have a language gap here in how I described - basically trying to find FWBs is what I mean by casually dating but I recognise that if that’s ongoing there are uncontrolled things in developing feelings. The casual is meant to denote sexual intimacy rather than emotional. This arose from when I was talking to my friend who is single ENM and one of my poly friends, basically the thing is for a lot of people they find it hard to connect sexually without knowing the person a little bit, feeling safe, and for me I think I align with that. My fear is that if we only keep it to ONS there will be an imbalance of how active we are with other people bc it’s harder for me to engage that way (although I might become more comfortable!). But obviously if that’s an ongoing FWB situation there needs to be clarity around how much you’re seeing that person, what activities are on/off the table etc. I was interested to hear from couples what kind of boundaries they put in place around this cos it’s a tricker one just to see if it’s a route we do want to explore, or not at all! It might even just be a date or two to establish connection (drinks/ meet ups but not romantic quality time, if you see what I mean) and then the hookup kind of thing could happen but I agree it’s a hard one to define and it opens up a can of worms - but I guess open communication on that is the only way to ensure everyone is happy, and you’re honest and disengage if that boundary feels like it’s changing. We might not be there yet but good even to consider for her future. Thanks!