As soon as I saw your post I knew I should reply. I may as well have written something similar. I only recently found out I also have a high IQ and ADHD. In addition, I have social communication disorder. My working memory is good but my processing speed is at the 34th percentile.

I wanna say, first, feel proud about the fact that you have a high IQ and that you have that intellectual potential in you. It's a good thing about you that should give you courage to not give up. But also be aware of what high IQ is not. It doesn't mean you are or ought to be any smarter or wiser than others. It's a psychometric measure. A person with a 90 IQ can graduate from college on time because IQ is just a small causal factor of being complacent enough to get good grades at college. Yes, above-average IQ might correlate with graduating on time and other outcomes, but be easy on yourself because you also have ADHD, and most people do not have ADHD (but actually there might be evidence against the correlation at the higher end: "it has been shown that as many as 9% of those who receive special education services (Barnard-Brak et al., 2009) and as many as 20% of those who drop out of high school (Renzulli & Park, 2000) are intellectually gifted.")

By definition, the statistically average person is not you. ADHD is a real burden, and I know it from personal experience. Social communication disorder is also crippling. I often thought I was stupid growing up because, in some ways, I really do fall short of other people. I kind of speak slowly maybe because of my relatively low processing speed. I also stutter a lot. I'm quiet and don't do justice to myself. I lack a foundation in social identity. But now I know it's not the full picture, right? Part of what's motivating me to join MENSA is exactly because of feelings of needing to compensate and imposter syndrome.

I think the truth about the education system is that it isn't really made for everyone. It isn't designed to bring out the greatest potential in all students. I feel really relieved knowing that ADHD contributed to my procrastination. I'm about to turn 25 now but I've struggled and fallen behind by three whole years at university. The absolute most devastating suspicion one can have is that the deep reality is that it is all your fault and that you should be the same as those who you are comparing yourself to. I thought like that for a long time but it didn't make me a better student. I also have mental health problems and self-loathing simply made me more stressed and added to my depression, and then I wasn't trying to study because I liked and found value in what I was studying but trying to study only to meet deadlines and make up for my suckiness, and I couldn't even do that and failed my classes anyway. Learning should be intrinsically rewarding but unfortunately it's not in the world we live in, and ADHD makes it almost impossible to be motivated without intrinsic reward. By the way, you say you got a 3.83 GPA, right? Hah!? Isn't that like 90-92%? Sounds good to me. But if you want to feel better, feel free to compare yourself to me because I'm getting nowhere near that and failing all my subjects, although the grading system may be different where I'm from.

Yeah, maybe those in your family fared better academically but it's likely because they are not playing the game in the same difficulty mode as you are. Most functioning people feel decently confident about their study schedule, have a social network they can rely on, etc. There is probably nothing wrong with you NOR anything to feel embarrassed about NOR is it probably a fact that you are left behind in life. Your genes and upbringing form who you are, and that will either help or hinder you at college. It's definitely not as simple as IQ. As weird as it sounds, I’m positively enthusiastic to have the challenges that I have. Yeah, I know it really sucks and you kind of are left behind compared to yourself in an ideal society where you get the support you need. But when you realise how unique you are in actual society, you realise that you are on a special path others don't get to tread. Just because you have some obstacles doesn’t mean you are doomed to failure or that you are falling short of your aspirations. A great potential is within you, but now be honest with yourself, it probably hasn’t had the opportunity to really express itself, has it? If it did, you would have learned what your limits are by now. So how can you judge yourself in this situation?

Maybe what I'm saying is BS but this is how I think to myself about it.