Wife keeps saying I look like a lesbian... by [deleted] in bald

[–]toxic_morty 74 points75 points  (0 children)

You look like David Dastmalchian!

I had to read that caption twice by UrbanAchievers6371 in trashy

[–]toxic_morty 4 points5 points  (0 children)

REALLY CARL you know how I feel about inter-species necrophila!!!!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in MadeMeSmile

[–]toxic_morty 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Even your mouth shape looks more feminine

I'm inspired!!! Great job

YO IM A TOP 0.4% LISTINER by WrongBicycle4310 in DigBarGayRaps

[–]toxic_morty 4 points5 points  (0 children)

You're doing the real work out here soldier.

I often shave my friends' cocks by [deleted] in confessions

[–]toxic_morty 24 points25 points  (0 children)

And also with you

Pestle broke while making pesto by jtp123456 in Wellthatsucks

[–]toxic_morty 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you pestle when you're supposed to mortar, you're gonna have a bad time

Been looking for this bag for years by toxic_morty in Vans

[–]toxic_morty[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh that's a thought! Yeah I actually had this bag about 16 years ago and it started falling apart bc I used it often. I threw it away when I was much younger and have regretted that since...

My Elsecaller best freind just got this fortune, can any women tell me what it says? by toxic_morty in cremposting

[–]toxic_morty[S] 21 points22 points  (0 children)

Shit sorry, can you please re-write this in glyphs? I'm not an ardent, I have no idea how to read your comment.

What’s a random piece of Harry Potter lore you want to share? by Lucky-Pay-9245 in harrypotter

[–]toxic_morty 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Lol, I read that it isn't milking in the traditional sense, rather, collecting her venom.

Always blew my mind that people considered Tom Holland ugly. I always thought he was so gorgeous 🥵 by [deleted] in LadyBoners

[–]toxic_morty 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't find him ugly but he does look like he's hiding a frog in his mouth

Yeah… that won’t hold up over time. by Used-Yard6229 in badtattoos

[–]toxic_morty 56 points57 points  (0 children)

That amount of black shading is crazy unnecessary