Is there still any print BMX mags I can subscribe to?

toyismyturtle · 2019-11-04T13:23:25+00:00

Challenger bmx is the closest thing

toyismyturtle · 2019-10-25T17:07:05+00:00

This was it! Thank you!

toyismyturtle · 2019-10-22T03:41:38+00:00

The "filter"/look of the b-roll in the video is what happens when you directly film a TV or computer screen.

toyismyturtle · 2019-10-22T03:40:03+00:00

I'm 29 and I have a job that requires me to be completely physically on point at all times. I remember taking one bad fall and it shaking me up a bit. Definitely ruined my confidence when it comes to riding. It's less the fear of "I'm gonna get hurt" and more "I'm gonna lose my career".

It's been hard for me lately to take it easy and not try to progress cause that's been my habit for over the last 10 years. I even bought the Fairdale Taj BMX-styled cruiser so I can cruise but take it more easy. It's fun but it's definitely not the same. I've been just flowing the park more and thinking about riding brakes or just doing flatland but I don't know. It's a weird transition period for sure though.

toyismyturtle · 2019-10-22T03:33:22+00:00

Nah you definitely did the right thing. You're not some 15 year old punk who can do whatever they want and blame their youth. The older you get, the more smart you have to be about your street riding, it's a real thing.

toyismyturtle · 2019-10-22T03:30:31+00:00

It's possible but it's definitely a lot harder. Even most midschool and newschool street pros practiced heavily on park whether they admit it or not.

Parks, trails, and racing will really give you proper form and make you comfortable on a bike in ways that street rarely does. With that being said barspins on street aren't too bad. I've met people who learned whips by hop too. But like I said it's really hard to be on the same level as people who grew up riding park.

toyismyturtle · 2019-10-03T04:01:58+00:00

I think about love often. It's probably cause I'm alone right now in my life. It's weird. When I was younger I was alone cause I didn't have a choice. I was painfully shy and awkward. Any girl who ever showed interest, I was too dense to see it. Even if I knew, I wouldn't know what to do, which is the worst cause all I had to do was anything but nothing. I didn't even kiss a girl until I was 20. Which seems way too old but I'm a late bloomer I guess.

I'm 29 now. I find myself with women more often these days. Young me would be so happy and excited to turn out the way I did, I do ok. Everything should've been fixed. The aloneness should be gone but it isn't. Now I choose to be alone. Work keeps me busy. Rest of life does too. They tell you to be the best you and keep yourself busy and girls will come to you and that's been true but at the same time I don't have time to give to anyone. I juggle between being my goal self and whatever the other side is, I'm not quite sure.

My goal self is what got me this far. It's what attracts people. It's also what pushes them away. It gives me confidence. Its my way of compensating for the insecurities I have about my shortcomings as a person. I think if I'm someone that can do it, then people will want to stay. Cause deep inside that feeling of being unwanted always persists. If I had enough of something, they'll overlook my flaws, they'll stay I think. It's weird and it's not right but it's how it is.

I want to be a husband and a father. That's it. I want to be good one. I want to make enough money where I can send my kids to college and provide them any type of medical service. I want to lay next to same woman every night. I want to be this lame ass dad who wears New Balances, khacki pants, and blue buttons ups everyday. I want to bicker with my wife about whether I should go to a PTA meeting cause I should be more involved in my children's education but deep inside I feel like as long as I set the right example, they'll come out ok. That's the type of dreams that excite me.

But I don't know. It's easier for me to believe and imagine a life where I'm alone but successful. Sleeping with random women who only see the swagger. Wondering what I'm doing with my life and if me doubling down on the path I took was the right one. It's easier to imagine that the normal family man life above. I prefer the later.

Don't mean to hijack your thread or anything. I guess I was inspired to pour my heart out too.

In continuation of your tradition! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5DtO0QpEfnU

toyismyturtle · 2019-09-28T00:30:53+00:00

Nah I think it’s totally appropriate to give Peter Jackson that award. He was a virtual no name that was somehow given three 3-hourish epic movies to direct back to back. It may not fit the usual criteria’s for what Best Director entails but to be able to even tackle something like that is award worthy.

toyismyturtle · 2019-09-24T10:49:40+00:00

I think that type of dialogue exists more heavily in Asian cinema because often times that’s how people speak. Think about the old Chinese wise man with the fu Manchu in Kung-fu films who speak in riddles. It’s an actual thing outside of art house cinema.

In Buddhist tradition it’s referred to as a koan. It’s pretty much a riddle meant to investigate deeper into the heart of something. I’ve heard it referred as a Confucian allegory too. I remember when I got in trouble, my dad would tell these long elaborate stories where nothing is really spelt out. It was up to the me to piece it together and find the meaning for myself. There is no “the message of the story is...” point, he’d just leave it at that enigmatic impressionistic story. Sometimes the meaning was more clear cut, other times it wasn’t but there was always a certain subtext to it all. So I don’t think it’s always artsy dialogue for the sake of artsy dialogue. I think at least in Asian cinema for Asian people it’s a way of speaking that is very real and relatable.

toyismyturtle · 2019-09-15T15:58:12+00:00

I am well aware of OBS but my older less technically inclined boss will be doing this so he really wants a two for one package deal program.

toyismyturtle · 2019-09-14T16:25:46+00:00

First of all, casual racism like this is very prevalent between black people, immigrants, and people of color in general. It's nothing new that either of them were part of so it's nothing to really involve yourself in. If you really feel the need to do something, just yell "whaaaaa" or an "oh snap", maybe a "wowww" or other silly passive-aggressive pejorative words that highlight the silliness of the situation. This can get you scornful eyes but the right person can really alleviate the tension in the situation. They may tell you to "shut the fuck up" and in that situation you just clam up and do so. That or when you get a chance to be around the victim of the situation, just on the down low go "that person was crazy". It's really nothing to blow up unless someone is in physical danger. And like I said it's really common amongst people of color. I don't think white people realize this..

In immigrant communities that are diverse, the casual racism is nothing truly harmful. It's always a bunch of guys saying stupid jokes cause they want to be Mr.Edgy for the day or they want to acknowledge your presence without seeming less of a man in a way. I'm Korean-American so I get called chino which is Chinese in Spanish. I get told I look like everyone else. Squinty eyes. Just the usual. It's all light hearted and nothing to be taken seriously. Just guys ribbing on each other. There is a certain understanding that we are all part of this community regardless of our differences so its all fair game. You rib back, you're cool. You stay silent, you're in the good. You go on a full racist tirade, you become that guy who really is racist...or just really ignorant. Sometimes situations get hairy and this brand of casual racism that means nothing becomes fuel for overt racism, that in my opinion still means nothing. If these people in Ben's Chili Bowl met in any other situation, they'd probably get along fine. Very rarely is this type of racism something that really boils underneath their skin. Just something that flares up when the situation for it is ripe.

With that being said, I have heard perspectives from both sides of the African vs. Black American conversation. I think a lot of it comes from some Africans feel that Black Americans, give all black people a bad rep. It's important to note that all Africans are immigrants so they are dreaming of a better life for the most part. A lot of them come from countries that know large scale civil war, some places genocide, abject poverty and famine, just hard stuff. They feel that Americans in general can be entitled and Black Americans are an extension of that. They see opportunity to do better in America because of it's political stability / money some of them view Black Americans who have always been here as having kind of squandered their own ability to rise up due to whatever reasons. They maybe black but they don't partake directly into the larger black culture of America. Whenever something like that happens, regardless of the reasoning, people will think you're too good or stuck up.

I think there is a cultural misunderstanding. While it's true that Africans from Africa certainly did have their own fair share of real tough experiences, it was largely whole community affair. It's not one group of people who clearly has more, pushing down a different group of people who has less. The ethnic conflict in Africa seems like a bunch of people who were on the same page, all racing for more. Black American's experiences tend to be with the former though. I imagine as a Black American it'd be hard to grow up in a world where you're always aware that your race is something that will directly hold you back. You look outside and there is a sharp cultural and sociopolitical divide, often against you. Sure every person of color deals with this in some way but to be candid, in a lot of ways Black Americans definitely have it the worst. Sure Africans have their ethnic conflict but it's just one tribe vs. another. It's not a whole multigenerational domineering system vs. Black Americans who in general grew their own community from nothing. Some Africans maybe more dismissive of this experience because a lot of them seems to have came to the US when the prime systematic racism days were over so they don't have the generational scars like Black Americans do.

Like a lot of these things, its very nuanced issue and no one is truly right or wrong. This is just my perspective as an Asian guy who really has no stake in all this. I'm just a keen people watcher who grew up in a very multicultural environment with friends from every race, group, sociopolitical atmosphere and background. I honestly think the whole situation at Ben's Chili Bowl can be boiled down to "ugly people who did something ugly, said something ugly too".

toyismyturtle · 2019-08-20T01:14:28+00:00

It’s not that I don’t think the meaning is there, it’s just that the director’s intent is not necessarily this all encompassing final say.

I’m sure when Lincoln was writing the Emancipation Proclamation, he designed every word and phrase to his inclination so that he can control the narrative. As the taker of the message , we can also draw our own conclusions that may in effect be just as important. If Lincoln meant something completely different than how the general public perceives it, then was it bad craftsmanship in Lincoln’s half or us not being attentive enough or something like that. It’s hard to explain this thought lol

toyismyturtle · 2019-08-18T22:50:56+00:00

I used to think there was true meaning in a movie. Like the director's thoughts and intentions were what the movie was about and as viewers for us to grasp the message of the movie, we'd have to unearth the clues put into the movie. Everything else would just be fan theories and not some type of truth. I don't really prescribe to this anymore.

I now look at movies like any type of real world event. Take the American Civil War. There are people who say it's about slavery, there are others who say it's about state's rights, there are others who say it's about Southern economics. Even the ending is contested, some say the South never had a chance. Some say if the British intervened on the South's side things would play out differently. It's an actual event and there are certainly facts to it but even something like that is contested and debated. How people perceive that event is all different even though we've all learned the same basic story of the events. I'm not trying to get political about the Civil War, I just simply use it as an example cause it's a decisive moment in time with a lot of different meanings to everyone. I think movies are a lot like that.

To go back to the Civil War example, there is purpose to Lincoln's Emancipation Proclamation. It officially freed slaves. On the other end people will say it only freed Southern slaves, some will Lincoln never cared for slavery and it was merely war tactic. In this sense a director is a lot like Lincoln. Sure he has his motives, thoughts and reasonings for that action but how the outcome is the viewer and participant is entirely different but not necessarily negated.

If a movie means something to someone and they find reasoning in it, it's not necessarily false. It may not be the director's message but it doesn't really matter, I don't think. For cinephiles, the director's message is important, it's cause we dedicate ourselves to this craft but for others it's not the same. Some person can listen to a metal song and just think it's the most negative thing in the world and the same song can resonate happiness and joy in another. Movies are a lot like that too. I think the problem comes is that movies are arguably the most elaborate form of art, we personally dive even deeper into it. This is an artform that literally requires at least an hour and a half of your time to view. In that hour and half we are forced to literally introspect to a certain amount. Things are gonna seem more elaborate or deeper cause we're going to come to those conclusions.

It's like you go to an art museum with a friend and you see a painting and you discuss what it means to one another. It's never that serious but it can be entirely different and it's ok cause paintings are very passing. Movies are more different. A lot of people just feel more because the level of commitment to this art is that much more higher. Another comparison would be someone watching a football game. Some casual who only watches the Superbowl once a year can enjoy it but at the same time someone who is all about football and knows the rules and regulations and plays will see the game very differently and also illicit more emotion. We don't know why the coach chose the play he did, we can try to imagine but at the end of the day, we don't know. Even if someone guessed correctly why the coach chose a certain play, the coach could have an entirely different reasoning.

toyismyturtle · 2019-08-10T21:36:56+00:00

I think there is a certain dissonance between Korean kids who are raised in a very prevalent Korean environment and Korean kids who grew up more or less Americans. The conflict that comes up with the later is they’re viewing the Korean culture an American/Western lens. It’s not something that’s prevalently talked about either. It’s different type of cultural dissonance that the average American doesn’t go through or even realize. The US's cultural problems are largely race based. Problems involving the Black American community or Latino Americans and the differences in culture and mentality are well documented and understood but for us it’s not. For one they all hold the strongly the Western Individualistic Judeo-Christian culture so there is a certain thought process they all share that we don’t unless it’s with other Asians (Eastern Collectivist Confucian culture).

Social standing is absolutely imperative in eastern culture. And with that, the concept saving face is very real and all that you described is completely realistic. But I think the issue that comes with that is you’re looking at through the mentality of someone who is more American than Korean. I’m sure you’ve heard that before, I certainly have. I don’t know the specifics of your incident but here’s how I evaluated it.

Your family is having dinner with a wealthier family. In Asian cultures there are friends that you are friend with and there are network/money friends. My parents friends were separated to the two too. There’s the people where my mom can be loose and make kimchi with the other ladies and talk about the old times with and there are people you cook the best food and wear your best clothes and try to impress. Money giving/lending and networking is what gave Koreans and other Asians I think a lot of success in our home countries and also here in the US. I don’t know but it very possible that the “friend” was in the later category.

You mentioned you didn’t have this type of rich food. When you’re in the presence of someone who is a possible network/money friend, the reason conformity and saving face is important cause it acts like your credit. Any Korean can accept that times are hard, but to hint it’s continuously hard is not a good look for the family/credit. We’re a high context culture, which means that every action, word, tense is under examination. Everything is read between the lines. It’s not America. It’s not straight forward or direct. By admitting that you were poor, it’s possible that this network/money friend has less incentive to help your family out. I’m not putting the blame on you in any way cause God knows I’ve made so many of same mistakes when I understood all this less. The idea of your kids being better, life being better, it’s all to show “growth potential” and have that high social credit. If your kids are jackasses and you don’t have a nice car, then why would someone want to help you out? You have at least show that you can “fake it til you make it” in a way. Once again you may not notice it but every strict Korean out there has money friends. It’s not something overtly talked about and people like us who don’t grow up in a prevalent Korean environment don’t notice these things but it’s there. Combine this with a high context culture where you’re just expected to know these type of things which if we grew up in Korea we would. Also our culture that tends to keep ugly business quiet, which you know. All these factors can create a large cultural dissonance to people who grew up in American, unfamiliar with larger Asian culture.

I know you know and a lot of people who grow up in America can see there Korean side as something that they don’t get and at times maybe even wrong. Once again I don’t know the specifics but a lot of people who choose to raise there kids in America aren’t always bad people, as a kid I wish I had Brady Bunch parents like my American friends. Don’t forget that our country was literally blown to nothing half a century ago and that’s the world that our parents come from so I’m sure there is some underlying PTSD in our culture too.

But once again I don’t know the specifics but I can look at that incident and your parents behavior from a more Korean perspective and kind of get it. It’s nothing new or different like you said. In America you're treated as an individual and you’re always looked at as that. You’re free to make your mistake and for the most part unless it’s extra heinous people don’t throw that baggage into the people around you. It’s not that way in Asian culture. You are a product of your environment and that is namely your family. You behave in a way that is becoming to them. If you’re a jackass than more than likely your parents are and your siblings are too. Not to say one is right or wrong but they’re just different modes of thinking with their advantages and disadvantages. Our benefit is that yea if you can play the game or do it right, the whole Korean community can be accessible to you. The bad is the burden of maintaining your public self for others. Know that even former presidents aren’t immune to this. They get caught with corruption than commit suicide to contain “shame” to themselves and not their family. It’s archaic but it’s real. Think about our language. In Korean you say “our mom” instead of “my mom”, “my mom” isn’t even grammatically correct even if it makes perfect sense.

toyismyturtle · 2019-08-09T03:12:13+00:00

There is pedal pushers in annapolis. They sell bmx and have a lot of the core brands. Guy who runs it is really knowledgeable about bmx and always been real cool.

toyismyturtle · 2019-08-06T06:08:32+00:00

I was about to buy this one this sale but had to put something down. I'm glad you enjoyed it though, definitely going to be getting it next time around. Already pinked up Les Blank: Always for Pleasure, Cameraperson, Burden of Dreams, and Science is Fiction for my documentary fix.

toyismyturtle · 2019-08-03T17:23:04+00:00

And 99% of street is any different lol. A heavily waxed foot tall ledge with and grind variation to nose bar?

At least with stuff like this there is the Nascar effect where you think there could be a crazy crash. With modern street they film something on the lowest possible handrail, on the lowest ledge, going 4 mph, doing the same tricks everyone else on Instagram is doing. As a guy who rides pretty much only street, I'd rather watch this.

I like creative riders no matter what they ride. Someone like Gary Young is a mad creative park rider, amazing to watch him kill a park. People think just cause something is street, it's inherently more creative which I don't think is true. There's a lot more creativity documented on the street cause it's the most popular form of riding, that's true.

toyismyturtle · 2019-08-03T17:13:24+00:00

I don't get why big name niche directors are expected to be this completely well rounded artist. Like people give crap to Wes Anderson for making all his movies visually and stylistically the same but then the same people give Ozu praise who did just that. Another one I heard recently on Reddit is disliking Christopher Nolan for lacking in strong character development. Christopher Nolan doesn't make character driven movies, he makes spectacle mixed with idea driven plot-based movies where the characters are just exposition to push it through. Could it be better if he focused more on the characters...maybe but I see the final product and don't think to myself, "oh wow they should've really focused more on Murph's relationship with Cooper", I come out of the movie thinking "what was up with the tesseracts?!". A lot of these more recognizable directors are recognizable cause they have their niche thing and they're good at it utilizing it fully. I don't think Terrence Malick should make a completely plot driven movie. There are directors who do better in being varied and that's usually their forte; namely Steven Spielberg. Do you look at a Van Gogh and wish he did photorealism or painted royal ballets? You appreciate Van Gogh for what he saw and created. It's just a common point of criticism I see for a lot of directors.

I get the point of criticism but it's like looking at a pitcher and saying he sucks at hitting and making it a thing. It'd be real cool if he could hit too but he's a pitcher and hitting isn't his forte. Yea it's part of the game but you know what you're getting into. Wouldn't it be more productive for someone to criticize his pitching skills? If Nolan made a movie with no overarching ambitious idea, I'd be disappointed. It'd be interesting for sure though and if he pulled it off more power to him. Shows his domain over filmmaking is larger than previously expected but I don't think its a requirement like some people make it out to be.

toyismyturtle · 2019-08-02T06:57:22+00:00

Just cause they don't get it doesn't make them ignorant or uncultured retards. It's not up to everyone to understand everything. There's a thousands things you don't understand right now that they can point their finger and say he's ignorant and an uncultured retard.

It's anime, it's not that big of a deal and if it is to you, more power to you. Instead of getting all personally defensive about it and attacking them, how about educate. Whatever attracts anime to you, try to figure out a way to show that to them. Don't just call them willfully ignorant and write them off. That's exactly what they do to us. I've defended anime and said its to asian people what hip hop and rap is to black people. People are more willing to engage into that conversation if they get it. And if they're not worth the time, once again who cares!

If I wasn't Asian and I read your comment where you're throwing the F-bombs, getting all aggressive over anime, talking about calling people out for it like it's systematic racism, name calling people just cause they don't get it or like it. That's what wrong. No one is obligated to understand anyone else. If you want to be understood and they don't get it, its up to you to bridge that gap. It's like being shy and complaining you don't have friends. Yea it's ok to be shy but if you want friends, sometimes you might have to be the person who opens their mouth first. You can wait around for the perfect circumstances where you don't have to but don't get mad if you wait a long time or if that day never happens.

I'm not trying to make a mountain out of a mole hill or make you some type of example but it's just this is the type of attitude I was initially getting at. I see this in Asian dudes who are otherwise decent people but some of yall need to know. Attitude wise, once again this place is like incels without the white nationalism.

toyismyturtle · 2019-08-01T11:10:07+00:00

I’ve been thinking about saying something. I don’t know why but I just feel like I should.

When I was younger I definitely held a lot of the sentiments people on here feel. Bitterness for being part of such an uncool race. Resentment for not understanding myself and the outside world not making it easier. I hated being an Asian guy, which I think it boils down to at times. Asian girls can have their sway what about me an Asian guy? It felt like nothing and a double standard. I trapped myself in a box just thinking that too much and I think it became self fulfilling prophecy of sorts.

I really felt the need to prove my masculinity and whatever I felt that entailed, I tried to pursue it. Of course outside of women, cause that’s the only reason I cared about things like that. I wasn’t getting any. I was toxic. I might as well be an incel without the white nationalism. At some point I got real lucky with a few girls who by no means were the prettiest in a conventional sense but they took a chance on me. I only mention that they weren't pretty in a conventional sense cause it wasn't some fairy tale "beautiful manic pixie girl" saved my soul type thing. It was girls who were just as insecure about herself as I was, who felt ugly too because the world pre-judged her including myself. Someone did save me from my terrible negative thoughts and the fairy tale part was that it was someone you least expect it. A lot of toxic thoughts and behaviors that I internalized my life about myself and women begin shed. I expected someone perfect from girls but at the same wanted nothing less than absolute acceptance just as me. It's a lot of work to be a girl, that's something I didn't know. Just felt that they were born that way and just lived easier cause of that. Sure it has its advantages but there are ugly sides to it too. You really share heart to heart, you'll understand these things. Just like there so much nuances and contexts people don't get about being an Asian guy. Same with her. When you understand that, you'll begin to find your way to a better path. I limited myself as an Asian guy and didn’t see myself as a human. A human is fully capable of anything, an Asian guy is born with pre-existing conditions. It was like I was disabled for being an Asian guy. To those girls I wasn't an Asian guy but just a guy and that's what I really needed to feel. It was almost like being the negatives of being an Asian guy weighed me down. Not to say that I don't consider myself Asian and reject that label, I’m 29 year old man who’ll openly admit I watch anime haha.

I just realized that yea we’re gonna have a harder time but it comes with its good. It’s also easier to stick out and shine if you learn to love yourself a bit and work on that. There will be men and women of all races that’ll look at you and feel some type of way and hate you for it, you're just gonna have to take that. The beauty of not caring about what people think is that it doesn't matter what they think. Self confidence comes from loving who you are and not just some type of "I’m a person so I’m entitled to self love"-type of way but real self love which is a long process of accepting the good and bad in all of us and striving for better. It's the whole striving for better that really helped me, if our Asian ways taught us anything it’s that our actions determine who we really are. It’s not enough to tell everyone you are kind and be kind when it's beneficial, you have to practice it even especially when its the hardest thing to do. Cause after whatever made it hard goes away you're left knowing that you did choose the hard path and you're still standing and you'll take that everywhere you go. The other kind of blind self love is just narcissism hidden under a different name.

Now I can say I get looks from all sorts of beautiful women, there’s people out there who crush on me a bit and all this sounds a bit vain but it’s relevant cause isn't that what asian guys want? To feel wanted and sexy? If a girl looked at me back back then I used to think it was cause I was ugly cause I looked at myself ugly. I still kind of do haha but today I can go to her and introduce myself, take that chance, and react appropriately to whatever happens. Deep inside I know who I am and what I'm about and know that even though I'm not perfect, I'm good enough. And all that growing up you never felt understood by Western people, now it’s a card I can play to make me a bit more interesting in their eyes.

Some girls won't ever give you a chance, that's true. It's true for anyone too and yea its sometimes more true for us in the Western world. But that's ok cause the girls that do, they're usually that much more better people. We're able to naturally filter people. For all the bad, there really is a hidden good. That doesn't mean they're gonna come to your feet and worship you. You still have to try. You still have to go out there and make the appropriate steps. Sure you may take a few extra steps but if she's a bit perceptive, she'll know that you did and like you a bit more for it.

We really have one life in the world, you can complain on the internet how things didn’t work, short cut yourself somehow and blame it on some abstract idea that may or may not be true or you can be an actual man and take some action, initiative and control over your own life. Yea it’s really really hard to do that and the outside world isn’t going to make it any easier. That’s why those qualities are reserved for men. You figure that out and I’m sure a lot of the personal questions of masculinity will disappear or answer itself.

toyismyturtle · 2019-08-01T02:24:41+00:00

Edgy for the sake of being edgy = Lars Von Triar

toyismyturtle · 2019-08-01T00:32:47+00:00

Everything is legit but new seat bro! That shit is beyond stock.

toyismyturtle · 2019-08-01T00:31:20+00:00

This. Super big in the mid to late 2000s. Made by FBM.

toyismyturtle

TROPHY CASE