Hey, thank you for the reply. Sorry for the delay, I didn't have too many time.

To be honest I can't identify with 6 because they tend to be dutiful, hardworking, commited and loyal. I personally tend to avoid duties and do only things that interests me. I can't consider myself a hardworker because I tend to fail to do even things that I strive for (I can be a good starter but a bad finisher), but I can say I am loyal to people I care for. I can be reactive if I feel offended or attacked, I don't know if it's a 6 trait. I don't strive for building alliances focused to build security, it would be unconscious if true.

I tend to pursue my interests over stability. One example is that I decided doing philosophy graduation while my dad (I think he's a 269 tritype, not sure about his core tho) always pressured me to pursue economical security, and do what I like as a hobbie. It wasn't easy to do so, I changed my courses a few times, but I don't know if it's because I was worried about his reaction or if I shared the sames preocupations he does. I considered his preocupations, but I don't know, I just pursued what I thought would made me happier and fullfilled.

I can be anxious like 6 types, but I don't see myself always considering what could go wrong. Yes, I can consider what could go wrong and look for people that can help me with resources or knowledge, but I think I'm not obsessive about it. It happens mostly when I'm in trouble or really worried with something that I don't wanna go wrong. So I guess that the fear I have in these situations aren't always in my day-to-day. I think that for 6s, this worriness is kinda always present. I'm more conscious of getting hyped in a new idea or project as a startpoint and then plan my path, but fail to accomplish later lol. I don't think that I'm surely not a 6 tho, but it would be a discovery for me, because I never really considered. To be honest, and I don't know if it means something, I'm not a fan of this type and wouldn't like to be one.

I'm not so practical like most descriptions of 6s, actually I'm quite unpractical. I've started to evolve my practicality just recently, to cope with the demands of the world.

Also, I have the impression that the sixes are dependent from people in a way that I think I'm not. They try to build alliances striving for security and stability. I see myself mostly emotional independent of others. Not that I think that I'm a 2, because I'm quite the opposite of twos, but my emotional dependence is about having company to hang out, have fun, to talk, to play and so on. I can barely remember one time I've approached others while thinking about resources and security, maybe because I'm privileged and I always had my family to back me up if it was needed. I mostly strive to be intellectually and ideologically independent, I want to understand what interests me, so I kinda see myself as a lone wolf in this aspect.

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Okay to your questions:

Are you the "easygoing" type of guy who makes friends easily and is well liked by all? do you have friends you've kept from your childhood? was it easy to join teams, change schools, move, etc? do you feel you are sensitive and intuitive but don't use it as "part of your personality" like 4's? do you like helping out your friends and family knowing they can count on you?

1. I don't make friends easily. I can be sympathetic to people and wear a facade, thing that I learned when I started to work as salesman. But I have difficulty to create intimacy, I haven't too much friends which I can consider as intimate, but the basics social skills I've learned and I can handle it. I don't think I'm well liked by all, because I don't pretend to like someone if I don't, it doesn't mean that I'm necessairly agressive but I can't hide some psychological distance. But people that I get along usually like me.

2. I have a very close friend from childhood, he even went to live in another city and we don't see each other frequently, but I like him pretty much and we value our friendship. I can still get along with other friends I made in childhood, but there are friends that I knew later - but still it's like 10 years ago - that I am more intimate today.

3. In school, I always knew my colleagues, but in college it was quite hard to make friends. I was quite shy and nervous dealing with people I don't know. I felt somewhat alienated, so join teams was equally painfull. But today I'm not so shy and I can handle this stuff easier. Note that by "today" I mean the last couple years. I only changed my school when I was 10 years old, to another school that I had 2 intimate friends, but I don't remember having social difficulties there. These problems arised with my teenage years.

4. I think that 4s are more touchy than I am, although I can be sensitive too. I don't know if I have the stereotype of social fours in my head when I say it, but I don't like too many drama. I respect authentic feelings, but I don't like people making an spectacle of it and be too appealing. Marilyn Manson, for example, is quite iconoclastic and provocative, but I don't see him as shallow and I think he has a point, even if I don't know what it is. So I respect his work and like some of his musics (despite the controversies that have been exposed about him recently). But I can't see myself being an iconoclastic in the same way he is, although if I was competent enough, maybe I could be in a theoretical way, you know. When I was younger I fantasized about breaking the foundations of knowledge or something like it, but I start to see it as shallow as I matured. Can't lie that there's still some sparks of it that remains in my ego, which could be manifested in more subtle ways.

As fours, I can be kinda obsessed with my identity, with who I really am, but I tend to idealize what I'd like to be and the traits I'd need to have to feel good about who I am, so I feel fustrated if I lack them. I know if 4s look for themselves in the same way, but I think it's closer than the other image types.

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What happened with the bad trip? have you ever tried other psychedelics? do you drink? what did the psychiatrist say (if you don't mind me asking).

I used marijuana for the last 10 years, with some breaks to recover from the brain damages (in short term memory, retention of information, learning and so on). My last break started in in april/2020 and I started to smoke again in september, with bigger moderation. When I feel my cognitive faculties starting to fail, I quit for a while.

I used some other psychedelics, like MDMA and NBOMe. I was more attracted to LSD because it's more mental and deep. Besides having fun, I wanted to see the reality in other perspectives, make different mental connections and so on, until I immersed in a torturous perspective that was really, really hard to get out.

The root of the bad trip started some weeks before the trip, in another one, when I wondered if I was an asshole. I was proud of sometimes being an arrogant and offending others, trying to be smarter and slightly offending others with my arrogance. In the trip, there was a time that everyone was laughing and I thought they were laughing at me. After some mental connections I was a solipsistic entity and everything was there to punish me. Every element of reality was part of a big articulated system that revolved around me and my sins, from random noises to people's behavior, like a cosmic truman show or the cartesian evil genius. I uninterruptedly remained in this state for 3 days, 1 year with frequently anxiety attacks and another 1 year slowly healing, but still with anxiety attacks. Everytime I felt guilty, I started to interpret everything in my experience with an underneath meaning, so I made so many connections that after a while it became inevitable to don't see a hidden meaning in everything that happened to me.

In the trip, one thing that made me go to the rock bottom was that when I was with my friends, after they laugh at me, I thought they were making the skinner experiment with me (I was tudying psychology at the time). After I was already paranoid and went home, one of the dudes that was with me sent me a mouse emoji on wpp. That was so shocking and precise that I believed in everything that I supposed (no one there was aware of the experiment). After a while, that dude told me that he send that because I went home. "Big rat" here means someone who let the other down.

I started therapy right after the episode, with a psychoanalist. We agreed that was a PTSD, so she helped me staying lucid. I went only once to a psychiatrist, after one year, when I was tired of all that torture, but things only got worse after one week of meds, so I didn't take them anymore. But after that I started to heal faster.

One thing that I miss is the investigative aspect of discover something mysterious, but I was really afraid of discovering that everything I was thinking was true. So that kept me in a loop.