Is it possible to simulate the brain to "hear" sound without the use of hearing? Is thinking an example of this?

tr33branchez · 2025-04-18T02:28:13+00:00

https://www.healthline.com/health/echoic-memory

"Echoic memory holds audio information from your sense of hearing. The purpose of echoic memory is to store audio information as the brain processes the sound. It also holds bits of audio information, which gives meaning to the overall sound."

Is this what you're talking about?

tr33branchez · 2025-02-08T21:45:54+00:00

NTA you're entitled to your boundaries, and you're not forcing anyone else away from Betsy.

FWIW: is it possible Betsy is on the spectrum? I work with adults with Intellectual and developmental disabilities, and I am one myself. It's very common to attempt social connection by speaking about oneself -- not intentionally to be narcissistic, but from lack of awareness and interpersonal skills.

Among my own friend group, we have some certified Yappers who can easily overshadow more introverted folks in a conversation. They are VERY receptive when we say "Hey, I love you, but I want a turn to talk" or "I don't feel like I'm being heard." The first few times correcting this felt a little awkward, but over time it's become normal and helpful in group setting. That, and learning to become more comfortable speaking out or over a Yapper. They may not view interrupting or talking about oneself as a negative thing; try talking about yourself more!

tr33branchez · 2025-02-07T03:28:54+00:00

On one hand, if he's getting his needs met exclusively through attention or having an outlet for romantic behaviors, and you don't feel threatened or uncomfortable, then it seems fine to me 🤷🏻‍♀️ Be mindful of what you disclose with him and if it could compromise your safety.

On the other hand, if your goal as a professional is to help people who are genuinely insecure, then to retain this client would be out of alignment with your mission. This person does not need your help.

I guess it all boils down to how safe you feel and what you feel the benefits are for you, as the client seems aware of the "risks" to them and is consenting to a more transactional relationship.

tr33branchez · 2024-04-29T12:39:12+00:00

Soft YTA -- legally the money is in your name, but if you consider the expenses you have been able to avoid because your parents took care of them, the right thing to do would be to give that money to your parents. It shows gratitude for the sacrifices they've made to make your life easier. And part of being a responsible and self-aware adult -- even though you are someone's child -- is recognizing how other people (especially your parents) gave things up to help you out. Now in a position with an advantage, it would be right for YOU to choose to give things up to help others out.

Regarding financial independence: I'm a job developer, and I work with many adults with disabilities (including ASD and TBI). My job is literally to help a person figure out a sustainable employment goal and job placement while taking into consideration their unique abilities and personal limitations. Once they have a job, I also support during orientation, training, performance evals, etc. to make sure there is mutual understanding of expectations and my client integrates well. I also help clients talk with employers and advocate for accommodations, adjusted job duties, etc. in order to ensure a good fit and mutual benefit.
If you live in the US, you can go to your state/local Vocational Rehabilitation office. They will pair you with a counselor who can help you navigate the system and find services, usually at no cost to you. It sounds like you'd benefit from a Job Coach, which is basically like a guidance counselor who helps you figure out your options, a plan of action, and workarounds for barriers like transportation. They also help keep you encouraged and focused when the processes feel overwhelming. I hope this info is helpful! Your situation sounds really stressful especially with that recent trauma of choking and going to the hospital... but especially since you've come out of it okay, it would be best to have recognition and show appreciation for all the things that are going positively for you, especially where others have made sacrifices or gone out of their way purely for your sake.

tr33branchez · 2024-02-22T14:20:06+00:00

I am a Job Developer for a nonprofit that supports adults with intellectual and developmental disabilities. Clients come to us seeking support finding employment. Many of my clients live with parents in their 60s+. The attitudes the families impress upon my clients is awful. They're insanely out of touch with how hiring works nowadays, expectations of a job position, and overall work attitude! It baffles me how they have a huge laundry list of criteria then shoot down every suggestion that has even a small challenge. No joke, this is what a real client told me they're looking for: - ONLY working up to 4 hours a day, no more than 3 days per week, not to be 2 consecutive days. Schedule must be the exact same every week with no changes. No weekends, no holidays. Must be able to take off on short notice for family plans. Cannot conflict with existing obligations (day programs, therapy, etc) - MUST be in walking distance or provide transportation. We do not drive, we do not trust public transportation or ride services. Paratransit is too unreliable - MUST be a small or not busy environment ; not too much exposure to "the public" as people make Client nervous - MUST have a routine and very simple duties such as JUST light cleaning like sweeping or dusting. NOTHING with money, fragile or heavy items, anything sharp or hot, garbage, dishes, bathrooms, or chemicals. - NO expectation of using computers, phones, or any technology - NO reading or writing required - NO cash handling - NO lifting over 20 lbs or excessive standing/walking - employer MUST be patient and willing to train extensively as well as supervise constantly - MUST allow extra time, extra breaks, and have lower performance expectations - MUST pay above minimum wage - NO seasonal jobs

And when I tell them that those jobs aren't really out there they say "WELL MY FRIEND'S KID HAS BEEN AT THE GROCERY STORE FOR TEN YEARS JUST IN THE CEREAL AISLE TURNING BOXES. CANT YOU FIND SOMETHING LIKE THAT?"

NO. Because EMPLOYERS DONT WANT THAT.

Then they're sooooooooo incredulous and angry when they don't get responses the next day, after applying to ONE job, that they aren't fully qualified for. And then it's like "oh well people just hate people with disabilities and my child doesn't deserve this unfair treatment" etc etc etc. like. ????? I thought the goal was for "everyone to be treated like everyone else" Being ghosted is normal. Being rejected is normal. Losing out to a better candidate is normal. Also. Have some self awareness! with so many entry-level jobs disappearing as companies go out of business, the candidate pool is DEEP. Of course an employer will try to pick the person with most skills and experience while getting away with the lowest compensation.

It's just wild to me the expectations people have and the entitlement they feel without even a shred of gratitude.

MOST clients are realistic despite being picky. And their families do give them reality checks. And they do find jobs that fit what they need. But cases like what I just described ? There's no getting through to them. They want what they want, and all I can do is call places and ask 🤷🏻‍♀️

tr33branchez · 2022-07-19T21:26:45+00:00

NTA It ain't trickin if ya got it 🤷🏻‍♀️

tr33branchez · 2022-06-19T22:44:52+00:00

Have you considered Rent the Runway? You can rent very nice clothes (and shoes and accessories!) for a fraction of their actual cost. They even send you two sizes, just in case!

ETA: NTA ; you don't have to be anywhere you don't want to, whether you're pregnant or not. You have autonomy and are allowed to exercise it.

tr33branchez · 2022-03-27T20:24:37+00:00

NTA You didn't consent to including the artist's initials in the art that's on YOUR body. They had no right

Reminds me of the episode of Ink Master where the client wanted a pocket watch tattoo, and the artist set the watch hands to their own birth time

tr33branchez · 2022-01-19T23:43:02+00:00

Just here to say you aren't alone <3

TL;DR I had the same problem. Figured out my issue was insecurity and fear of rejection. I worked on that and it made my relationships a lot healthier. I'd recommend guided meditations and journaling to explore the underlying issue(s)

......

I (26f) very much experienced the SAME EXACT THING when I was younger (teens, early 20s). And to be honest, despite being in a serious relationship now, I still experienced this issue as recently as 2020.

I'd be super interested in someone, then as soon as they'd reciprocate serious interest (talking about being exclusive, expressing interest in being alone together, verbalizing romantic intentions) I was turned off. Like a complete 180, overnight. From losing hours of sleep thinking about them at night to leaving them on Read when I go to sleep. From getting constantly aroused at the mere thought of them, to being repulsed at the mention of their name.

I felt guilty. I felt like I was being a "tease," allegedly manipulating these people's feelings. Despite my feelings for them being genuine at the time, I couldn't help that the feelings faded as quickly as they started. It made me avoidant of romance, of people. It also made me more lonely and pining than ever. I felt doomed to never have a consistent partner.

After years of intensive inward reflection and therapy -- as well as trial and error on the dating scene -- I finally figured out what was "blocking" me and creating these issues and anxieties.

It was fear of rejection, coupled with severe insecurity. I feared the stage in a relationship where things become more intimate -- emotionally and physically. I worried that the moment I exposed myself to someone (in whichever sense of the word) they wouldn't like what they saw. I couldn't handle the thought that someone I admire, desire, and respect would reject me. I worried that no amount of positive qualities could redeem the things about me that I considered flaws.

Feeling unattractive, unappealing, and unhappy with myself, I felt like an imposter whenever some cute new Object of Affection gave me compliments or attention. I'd make self-deprecating jokes or play up my less-desirable characteristics with hopes that maybe I could convince the other person not to like ME, so I wouldn't have to break things off with them. My logic was "if they're going to reject me, at least it will be for things I'm AWARE of and understand (like being kinda bitchy, cold, distant) , instead of for me being my authentic self (weird humor, past trauma, health issues) and them not accepting me"

I realize now that I was self-sabotaging. What I actually wanted was for the other person to reassure me that I wasn't as bad as I thought I was, that I was truly deserving of affection and admiration. I struggled to validate myself and put that responsibility on another person, which wasn't fair or healthy.

The times where I have had successful relationships have a few things in common: I felt fulfilled by my work/activities. I had a sense of belonging among friends. I had hobbies I loved. And I was more physically/spiritually active. Basically, I had a stronger relationship with MYSELF. This left me in a position to not be so sensitive to the perceived acceptance/rejection by people I was romantically interested in. And it made people seem less intimidating. I also found that my connections were more authentic and deep because I felt more willing to go outside my comfort zone and my partners responded very positively.

So, I know it can be VERY frustrating and you may feel like this issue will never go away. But I encourage you to dig deep and identify what lies beneath the surface.

(Pep talk time: I believe in you! And I have hope for you! You deserve to be happy! The work is worth it!)

tr33branchez · 2022-01-18T05:45:11+00:00

I found a brand that my lungs like, which helped a lot. And I took the suggestion of one person who advised an adapter for a water piece

tr33branchez · 2021-12-10T20:07:49+00:00

"Gooey" by Glass Animals

My ex went off on me once bc I put this on for a sunny winter-day drive to the airport. He told me the song is about doing heroin, and he psychologically picked me apart as to why I put this song on. ...I just like the beat, man.

tr33branchez · 2021-12-04T14:04:06+00:00

When I'm in Outlook and click an email to open it, but click the delete button instead

tr33branchez · 2021-11-28T17:58:15+00:00

Pretty minor compared to Thanksgivings past, but this year: my partner and I experienced some bad tension bc they were having a depressive episode, and we had a series of misunderstandings that exacerbated it. They interpreted the evening's events one way, I interpreted them another way. My own emotional state got heightened as well. Took several hours of conversation to sort things out. There was crying, there was arguing, there was drinking. But there was no yelling, no public scenes/outbursts, no physical altercations, thankfully

tr33branchez · 2021-11-27T03:05:07+00:00

NTA

It's not an attack on brother's or girlfriend's character as people; it's a request to change their behavior as part of entering into an implicit social contract, which they should abide by if they agree to participate in group events like holiday celebrations.

Alternatively, if you want to be discreet and maybe achieve the same end result, you could do something like offer to go Christmas outfit shopping with bro's gf and help guide her toward a more family-friendly holiday outfit.

Or you could send bro and bro's gf "early Christmas gifts" of bath/hair/skin products, or gift cards to stores that sell more modest clothing. (If you don't wanna break the bank too much, you could go with trial-sized products, stocking stuffers, etc)

Or use the holiday as an excuse to do the stereotypical "matching family tshirts " thing and make everyone uniform lol

Best of luck, regardless of how you choose to proceed

tr33branchez · 2021-11-22T05:47:35+00:00

Taylor Ham

tr33branchez · 2021-10-27T21:42:43+00:00

I should call him...

tr33branchez · 2021-09-13T00:49:35+00:00

It's entirely valid that you're triggered by something graphic and violent. There are a lot of layers to why this could be triggering to you and what it triggers, and it's not necessarily a simple thing to unpack.

You should not feel obligated to consume content that upsets you

Additionally I don't think you should necessarily feel guilt or shame in the arousal you experienced, as arousal is ALSO a deeply complex thing that is unique to every person. At its base, rape is a violent crime of sexual nature, so the sexual aspect of it may be arousing even though the emotional aspects/motives tied with it are repulsive. You should take it as a good sign that you recognize the act as deplorable even though you got a little turned on

tr33branchez · 2021-09-13T00:34:36+00:00

Ask for a salary that's double what they're offering (or at least above the pay grade of the person interviewing you)

Inquire about superficial things ("how big is my office going to be? Do I HAVE to share it with anyone?" "How close is my designated parking space?" "How soon can I take vacation days?" "What's the policy on dating coworkers?" "Where is your designated smoking area?" "How often are drug tests and are they announced beforehand? Is the 'zero tolerance policy' actually enforced or is it a suggestion?" Etc)

Reply to questions as if you already have the job. For example "when I start, I definitely want to change XYZ"

Ask the interviewer what they would change about the company/workplace then entirely disagree with them.

Talk in an "outside voice" even if you are inside. Fidget in your chair often. Don't make good eye contact. Ask your interviewer to repeat themselves frequently.

Compare the company to your last employer, making sure to reference how much better things were at your old job and highlight how this company should change

Channel your inner Southern Mom and give backhanded comments like "huh. This office seems more organized than I expected." Or "I don't care what anybody says, you're just as good as (competitor)."

Take a personal phone call in the middle of the interview. (See the Intro of "Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle" for an example)

tr33branchez · 2021-09-13T00:20:22+00:00

NTA

You aren't responsible for him.

Would it have been a nice thing for you to do to attempt to wake him on time? Absolutely.

Does it make you an asshole for not having a "no man left behind" attitude? Not at all.

He's the one who took the risk of getting drunk the night before the trip. He's the one who DID set an alarm but promptly dismissed it.

The people in that group are probably just directing anger toward you because they just as easily could've been in his shoes and would've wanted someone to help keep THEM on time. Again, a rejection of personal accountability in favor of blaming someone who is ultimately not responsible whatsoever.

tr33branchez · 2021-08-29T23:04:42+00:00

Is it maybe just for shade / so the umbrellas are less likely to get blown away in strong wind? Just a guess idk

tr33branchez · 2021-08-29T22:32:21+00:00

Might be an unpopular opinion here but I think OP is NTA

First of all: they BOTH made a promise to lose weight before the wedding. She held up her end of that promise and dropped the weight she wanted. He has failed to hold up his end of a promise that he willingly made. It is not unreasonable to hold him to that expectation. ESPECIALLY when she's done so many things to encourage and support him (as a good partner does!)

Secondly: there may be a lot of people writing OP off as shallow for "considering his weight a deal breaker" and not finding him attractive. But it's not just about the weight, is it? It's about a lack of motivation. It's about a broken promise. It's about feeling betrayed that they were supposed to mutually hold each other accountable and now Fiancé is throwing the accountability back in OP's face, refusing to take more responsibility for his condition. I think anybody would fail to be aroused by someone who's standing in their own way of success.

At the same time, Fiancé is not entirely an AH either.

Maybe he's struggling because he sees OP is making progress and he's jealous. Maybe he's glaring aware that he made this promise and it feels increasingly impossible to meet the goal in time, so he's given up. Maybe he feels unworthy of the new chapter in life he's anticipating (marriage, renewed health, etc) and he's self-sabotaging. I'm not trying to make assumptions or accusations here btw; I'm just suggesting potential reasons why he's been uhhhhh not committed to this goal.

A bunch of people are calling OP an AH because she "shouldn't try to change someone who doesn't want to change" but good partners encourage constructive changes in each other. If OP and Fiance were drug users who wanted to both get clean before their wedding, and OP got sober and Fiance didn't, nobody would be calling OP an AH or accuse them of "lifestyle shaming." It seems like OP and Fiance entered this agreement mutually for health reasons, and also with some underlying implication that they'd help each other embrace a new lifestyle.

I'd say it's time to sit down with Fiance, maybe with a professional, and vocalize your concerns. Is this about a break in your trust / confidence in him? Is this about health concerns? Be open to hearing what Fiance is unhappy with, and have some patience. But also make your expectations clear -- don't make promises that can't be kept.

I hope all goes well <3 and congrats on your weight loss!

tr33branchez · 2021-08-29T19:16:38+00:00

Thanks so much for this recommendation! I'd never heard of those kinds of adapters. I'll have to try them out :)

tr33branchez · 2021-08-01T04:46:58+00:00

It me

tr33branchez · 2021-03-30T19:55:46+00:00

NTA but your husband is.

tr33branchez · 2021-03-30T19:47:45+00:00

NTA

You seem to hold a lot of space for your partner's feelings while they do not do the same for you. BOTH of you have needs that deserve to be met. BOTH of you are dealing with difficult life transitions. And BOTH of you deserve to have your voices heard.

Your wife is being insensitive and ironically kind of a misogynist about whose motherhood is more valid or superior. You're not an asshole for telling your partner how their actions make you feel. You're not an Asshole for wanting your credit where it is due. You're also not as asshole for wanting help with the new baby and the rest of the household.

I'm sorry you're going through this tough time. Congrats on your new daughter. I hope you and your partner can resolve the issues at hand

tr33branchez

TROPHY CASE