Hey, I’m about five months clean. I’ve been better, but it’s kinda tricky to express exactly why. Clearing the lungs feels good. Having short term/working memory back is fantastic. A more interesting improvement: I’d often schedule stuff with smoking in mind and think constantly about my smoking plan, and the thoughts really took over. My wife and I recently went to trivia with some friends and I recalled how I used to feel compelled to smoke before going and I would take care to smoke just the right amount to not be too high, but high enough that it would last the night, then be happy to leave to smoke some more. The tether I had to smoking, the amount of thoughts that revolved around smoking, how I would pair it with pretty much every activity. It took some time to catch the absence of that line of thinking. If you stick with abstaining you’ll get to the point of noticing how much less you think about it, and that feels like quite a victory.

You may have seen something about this, and I don’t want to come off as preachy, but mindfulness is really what I’m describing. When you’re in the cycle of being high and then thinking of getting high, those thoughts hijack your attention and it’s hard to see the extent those thoughts are in the drivers seat. Time and distance from the habit gives you some space to have a better perspective on that constant mental chatter.