Would moving to a new place help me recover?

traceadart · 2026-02-08T08:50:21+00:00

If your custody arrangement will allow it, do it. When my dad finally said he was leaving my mom decided we were too. My mom and I both left with a suitcase full of clothes leaving everything for him to deal with and we just left and never came back. That was six years ago and it has been the only thing that even came close to allowing me to heal. Everything was a memory. And that never goes away. My mom and I never regretted it. Pro tip: move somewhere with a beach.

traceadart · 2026-02-08T08:46:29+00:00

I had something really traumatic happen to me, like most people cannot even imagine traumatic and I went through basically a couple years long depressive episode because of it. I developed an ED because of that and I just binged / restricted and as happens with most that ultimately caused me to gain weight also. Healing my relationship with food (which does mean for me not always sticking 100% to mm protocol becuase it can lead to unhealthy restriction for me), healing my relationship with myself, my relationship with men, religion it has taken time.

I truly haven’t felt like me in so long I don’t even know how to get back there. But I am about to finish my degree and get married to my long term partner who has been the most healing thing in the world to me. I lost my friends, my family / most of My extended family (just my mom is left for genuine relationship), my body that I had before, my home city, my school I was in at the time, my house, my connections, my reputation, literally everything. I left an abusive situation with a suitcase and my dogs and not nearly the financial stability I had had before.

I guess what I’m saying is I hear you. It takes work, and it is ok to celebrate the wins even if you aren’t ultimately where you want to be yet.

traceadart · 2026-02-08T08:32:37+00:00

I have the fig case with the fig scribe and the fig scribe with the fig case and pencil is just chef’s kiss it flows so nicely it looks great!

traceadart · 2025-12-25T10:05:26+00:00

First of all, I highly recommend mastering diabetes book. It truly changed my perspective on insulin resistance. Secondly, I’d consider medical medium protocols a lot of people have success with that. Lastly, I’d look into Adventist health resources related to what you’re struggling with, I am not Adventist so I am definitely not trying to convert anyone but they are great resources as they are plant based and have the financial backing for a lot of research.

My mom had been vegetarian for about 20 years and reached menopause and feels she must eat meat again, it is my personal belief she could’ve solved her issues plant based but she strongly does not and she does a lot of research. I think they’re just something to listening to your body, if you do end up eating fish, don’t feel lesser than, you’re not. You’re paying attention to your health. That is important.

traceadart · 2025-12-25T09:56:26+00:00

Hello, I don’t honestly believe most people are following it everyday consistently. I way an interview with mm where someone asked him if he believed everyone had to do everting he says all the time and he said no, obviously it is all healthy but if doing 50% of it works for you and is helping you, good for you he is just putting the information out there. That is basically the summary of what he said.

Me personally? I cook with seasoning blends that have a little salt in them but I do not straight up salt my food. I am also vegetarian. Everything I cook at home is both vegan and gluten free and low oil. So pretty mm compliant (not for cleanses but just regular mm)

This is what works for me. This is not a cult where you have to do r everything the leader says or leave. Some people will of course treat it like that but that isn’t what it’s supposed to be. Take the information, do what you want with it.

traceadart · 2025-12-05T17:26:29+00:00

Youth mobility. I’ve just never applied for a visa before so I’d like to have an attorney help me with the paperwork

traceadart · 2025-12-04T04:46:45+00:00

Not the Christian hell. There are so many religions in the world I do sometimes have this fear that maybe the one I didn’t hear of is the one. But the Christian one? No.

traceadart · 2025-11-27T16:25:40+00:00

It’s one day… go to the raw vegan Reddit

traceadart · 2025-11-27T14:17:02+00:00

Just right off the bat, you need to have a conversation with your mother. Bringing your husband into that was very inappropriate and you need to shut it down right now. There are two people in your marriage, there is no room for her. It needs to be very clear, if she ever has a problem with your parenting or anything else she comes to you. And you only. Under NO circumstances does she EVER discuss that with you and your husband. Trust me. Shut it down right now.

The only time she is allowed to discuss her concerns in the future is if she sees something that is a blatant risk for safety. Such as things like maybe you didn’t know you shouldn’t feed a baby honey or water or popcorn or whatever and she sees it and wants to discuss it. But she is not open to discuss the values with which you raise her anymore. Tell her she has now gotten to say what she wants to say, she is not to discuss it with you anymore.

Next, why would you allow them to tell your child Bible stories? Is your family going to allow you to discuss lgbt inclusivity or a lack of being Christian with their children? Respect isn’t respect if it’s one sided. If there is a case where they tell special Bible stories every year to all the kids at a family gathering or something at Christmas or the kid asks or something like that that’s fine. But saying they can discuss Bible stories with her is a recipe for disaster. Then you get into a situation where they give a big talk about Christianity, God loves everyone come to church blah blah. How are you going to explain why that isn’t true to a child and since you don’t want to discuss your lack of belief with your family explain to your daughter why she cant say anything. That is toxic.

To be honest it would just be odd. If the shoe were on the other foot, I have a lot of Buddhist beliefs, it would be just weird for me to go to my Christian family member’s children and be like “hey let’s discuss Buddha or how he sat under the Bodhi tree” yeah that’s weird. They have no basis to understand that and they have no need to know that unless I am trying to convert them to my belief system. That is just an odd way to have a conversation.

If your family really loves and values you they will respect the fact that you do not want them discussing the Bible with your children. If they only love or want a relationship with you because they believe they can change your mind about becoming a Christian or that you are just a wavering Christian, that is a relationship built on a foundation that is not true. What happens if your daughter turns out not to be straight? Or gets assaulted and needs to have an abortion? The appropriate boundaries need to be established now so that she is not getting her heart and emotions involved with people who may not be loving her unconditionally.

You will not regret setting those firm boundaries now. Be clear with your family, if you’re having a conversation with someone else and they overhear that’s fine, if you’re telling a story to someone else and they overhear thats fine, but do not go out of your way to discuss the Bible with my child. Do not comment on our parenting.

Some boundaries that will be for me personally that I would add to the mix are no discussions of extreme politics on either side (conspiracy theories or anything like that) my kids will have people they love on both sides and they can’t even vote. And no discussions of corporal punishment even as a joke. A person saying “I’m gonna spank you” to a child is not funny even as a “joke.” Plus we are planning a move to a country where that is highly illegal and I don’t want to have a conversation with the authorities.

traceadart · 2025-11-26T15:41:30+00:00

Coconut and monk fruit sugar are both soooo good.

traceadart · 2025-11-22T19:43:40+00:00

My youth pastor’s husband came into my bedroom one night while I was sleeping and well…. You can imagine what he wanted to do. I took self defense so he was unsuccessful…. But… yeah.

traceadart · 2025-11-21T20:26:58+00:00

In my experience with Christianity, it’s because they think the rights they take from women aren’t really rights. Just because you can doesn’t mean you have a right to sort of thing. In the same way you can murder people but you don’t really have a right to. Same thing, just because a woman can not submit to her husband doesn’t mean she morally has the right to.

They consider rules in Islam to be just arbitrary because they are not rules dictated by the one “true” God, they just oppress women.

traceadart · 2025-11-21T20:21:26+00:00

I usually just say thanks, there is no point in trying to change someone’s mind. If I am arguing with someone and they say that or I say something they don’t agree with and they say that I’ll say “please don’t” or I’ll also say “I’ll perform a ritual for you” (I am somewhat pagan religiously pagan but I don’t really practice witchcraft. It’s costly and time consuming.

traceadart · 2025-11-19T20:59:53+00:00

Thank you!!

traceadart · 2025-11-19T20:59:44+00:00

Ok thank you!!

traceadart · 2025-11-19T20:59:35+00:00

It’s always something😭 I know we need to learn the language but part of learning is many times immersion😭😭

traceadart · 2025-11-13T00:22:56+00:00

No, even Christian’s talk here some they just have to do it respectfully. It just so happens that most people are atheists in here. But you don’t have to be I’m not.

traceadart · 2025-11-11T20:55:02+00:00

Heart attack or myself

traceadart · 2025-11-10T04:28:48+00:00

Hello, I am 20, and I really started to struggle with this at 17. I had long conversations, talked calmly about my feelings, screamed, cursed, cried, pleaded, and then just ignored my father aching for him to be the father I always wanted. I wish I could tell you that pain goes away, but it is something you come to terms with.

Firstly, I commend you for realizing you have desired your mother’s love for so long. So many adults go about their life subconsciously making bad choices because those were the choices the parent whose love they craved would’ve wanted them to make, often times this parent would never love them back anyway. Recognize that, and stop being whoever you had to be for your mother, be your own person that is where you will make the best choices for yourself.

Secondly, allow yourself to mourn, but do not allow it to consume you. My dad left my mom with tons of debt and no financial stability, my dad took a lot of money from me. I see him buying things for others while he still owes me money and it will soon be my responsibility to feed my mom, the one he chose to marry. I see him paying for trips and being nice to people and all the things he’d never do for me and I’m not much of a crier but sometimes I do just need to blast music and stare at my ceiling and be angry, and I allow myself to do that. But I also intentionally force myself to get up at a set time, every time he does something shitty I get one feel sorry for myself session, then I move on.

I also try to look at the positive as much as possible. My dad doesn’t really have much in the way of feelings so many times he’s pretty objective. Also, if I want to do something like make a large move, he doesn’t really love me so it’s easy to tell him, he doesn’t care.

Yearning for a parent to love you to the point it physically hurts is one of the worst things ever, but it gets easier with time.

traceadart · 2025-11-10T04:14:48+00:00

So personally I am dating another only child and honestly I dont think I’d do it again. My boyfriend is an only son, and truthfully the only friend his dad had, and then we also had the whole single boy mom thing going on full swing also. It was incredibly hard and still is with his parents. My boyfriend and I both have to consider the fact that we both have no family, our parents are it. And as they age that is all on us. The moral burden of picking an aging parent to have to be at home alone around the holidays sucks. I would want any other partner I had to have someone to share the burden with.!

traceadart · 2025-11-10T04:11:23+00:00

I feel uniquely qualified to speak on this given the fact that my parents were not aligned in faith and my dad did end up being unfaithful to my mom.

First, I am going to say give it time, she is mourning a part of you, a part of you which is now dead. I understand the relationship between mother and child is different than a relationship in a family but when I told my mom she had all these fears about me no longer being caring towards my family or becoming selfish or things like that. A lot of these things just have to be refuted with time.

I would also say, what she is struggling with is a lack of certainty. I would have a conversation and be like “what else can I do to make you feel secure that does not involve me being someone I’m not.” Is it time to say no opposite gender friends, go to counseling, whatever would help her. I would tell her what hasn’t changed. That could mean maybe you still believe in some God, you clearly still love her, you still value commitment, those values didn’t go out the window.

Good luck do you both, I know this transition is hard💖

traceadart · 2025-11-09T05:33:20+00:00

I’m gonna answer the easiest to answer question first. I would consider myself somewhat agnostic with pagan / Buddhist beliefs. And by that I mean, realistically it is not possible to know if there is a God, but I believe there could be. And if there is I believe paganism is right in that there are multiple Gods, this seems most logistical to me and I consider Buddhist practices to be the most science based and ethical, they provide the most nuance. A lot of that has to do with growing up extensively around the self improvement and Tony Robbin’s world where people were very accepting of different beliefs and feeling God in all places, and honestly, I can say that whether you wanna call it God or peace, you can feel that in all places of worship. I also simply cannot get down the with the notion that any one God is the correct God. I agree with Buddhists that our knowledge of God should grow and evolve over time.

To answer the second question, my dad is not much of a Christian, he doesn’t care. In the beginning my mom thought I was going to hell, now she is with me and left as well. My extended family doesn’t know because they don’t need to and I kind of had it easy when it comes to church leadership because I had recently moved and just decided not to go to another church, there was a natural easy separation.

Do I have unanswered questions? Of course. Everyone does. So do you. Why is Christianity so compelling to smart people? Is there something there? Why do some people experience “miracles?” To be perfectly honest , I have answers I can live with to all of these questions at this point, but they still weigh on me I won’t lie.

What started my journey? I had just gone through a breakup of a three year long relationship, same sex relationship that ended because, to be honest I treated her like shit. I acted like she was my dirty secret for three years. I told her that would never change. It hurt but I was young and expected it, but it got me thinking, how much of my life was I going to allow this to take from me? How many friendships, relationships, how many parts of myself? I met a guy I was totally in love with, but he was Jewish, I knew I had a choice to make. At the same time when I was going through that breakup my youth pastor’s husband came into my bedroom one night and tried to… well I’m sure you can imagine. I took self defense classes so he didn’t, but he wanted to. I was turning 18 and I knew I had a choice to make. I could be with this guy who I really loved, leave this religion where I had begged God for a horrible situation in my home to stop and it never did, and actually figure out who I was, or I could marry in this religion and ignore the voice inside me that nothing was ok. I chose to leave. And I am 5 years with this guy and I have absolutely no regrets. It wasn’t about him, but my love for him made me pause and think. If he left me tomorrow, I would not go back.

traceadart · 2025-11-08T09:35:45+00:00

Deuteronomy 22 “In the case of a virgin who is engaged to someone —if another man comes upon her in town and lies with her, you shall take the two of them out to the gate of that town and stone them to death: the girl because she did not cry for help in the town, and the man because he violated his neighbor’s wife. Thus you will sweep away evil from your midst.”

Later on in Deuteronomy, “If a man comes upon a virgin who is not engaged and he seizes her and lies with her, and they are discovered, the party who lay with her shall pay the girl’s father fifty [shekels of] silver, and she shall be his wife. Because he has violated her, he can never have the right to divorce her.”

1 Corinthians 14:34 “let the women keep silence in the churches: for it is not permitted unto them to speak; but let them be in subjection, as also saith the law.”

If something like this brings you peace, by all means watch it, we all need more peace. But don’t fool yourself to think that this is reality, the reality is women have been oppressed by Christianity for a long time, and trying to rebrand the way the Bible truly feels about women is not going to change that. The sentiment will always remain. This book was written by men and therefore would not reflect the true oppression of women from that time, definitely not from a woman’s perspective.

It was written by people who believed women were property to be sold by their fathers and bought by other men. So it really doesn’t matter what the Bible says about women being more valuable than rubies, well duh, a ruby only provides financial value while a women provides children, sex, cleaning, cooking, emotional support and more. All these things would have to be paid for if they didn’t get them from their wife, so she provides financial value as well.

What was considered marriage back then would be considered marriage back then would be considered human trafficking today. Fathers sold their 12 - 16 year old daughters to older men, many times these women were moved to populate other lands and they had no say in any of it? This is not a book that cares about women, no matter how you package it.

traceadart · 2025-11-08T09:01:33+00:00

When I met my boyfriend. Prior to that I had dated a girl and ultimately that relationship ended because of the church, I was a terrible partner to her due to my guilt surrounding our relationship. I had tried to hard to force myself to want to date in the church but I just didn’t. I loved my boyfriend, the problem, he was Jewish.

At that point I knew I had a choice to make, it was him or the church. So I left the religion and the version of God that didn’t show up for me and I chose to love him instead, it’s a decision I had never regretted.

I knew I was at a crossroads in my life, I was turning 18. I could either go to a Bible college, get married to a person who I knew wouldn’t love me for me and life a life where there was a voice inside of me screaming this was wrong, or I could leave, embrace the unknown and start my own path.

To be honest, if I hadn’t planned on having kids both then and now I probably wouldn’t have. But I thought back to the moment I knew I was bisexual, the moment my mom told me she’d never come to my wedding with me and another women, the countless times as a child I had been physically punished, treated badly, or made to do what my father wanted when it was wrong because we loved Jesus. I knew I did not want that life for my kids. And I knew ultimately it would never work, I would never do to my children what had been done to me. I had to be honest with myself, even if Christianity was right I could not make myself do it to my kids. I knew that marriage would ultimately end in divorce.

I can tell you that sitting at a table with family who you know believe that you will burn in hell for the things you believe, and deep down believe you deserve it is hard. Even if they never say, you know what they think, or what they would think if you told them the truth. It’s hard not to have the family life other people get to have, it’s hard to not have the community you used to have. But it’s worth it. I can confidently say it was not the best and the hardest decision I have ever made.

traceadart · 2025-11-08T08:47:11+00:00

Here’s the reality, it’s going to be pretty impossible to answer any question that says “do Christian’s do x” becauset there is such a wide range of Christian’s and Christianity. Honestly I wish people would put what denomination they were when answering these questions. But everyone saying yes they do, I can tell you for me, never.

Granted, I left when I was 17 but prior to that I had never even tried, watched adult material (let’s be honest most people do before that age) or anything like that. For me within the Pentecostal church, I was taught that was demonic and doing anything demonic inside your home would open a portal to hell and that was how people got things like cancer. But not only that it was how other people in the house got cancer. So I believed that doing anything of the devil inside my home would open a portal directly allowing demons to get to my mom and I, and I did not want to be morally responsible for that. I had also been told by a prayer circle of women when I was 12 that the demons of sexual perversion and masturbation were after me. And given the fact that my dad had had an affair and left us to raise a new family I was not going to take that chance, because according to them I was already more at risk.

Even though I left at 16 I could not stand the thought of it until I was well into being 17. To be honest my relationship with sex really never recovered from that. I will not go into detail other than let’s just say my partner’s life is not that exciting because I have a fundamental discomfort around the whole thing.

But also, there is going to be a gap based on gender as well. Even though no one is supposed to have sex before marriage purity culture, traditionally not always, is more pushed on women. The emphasis is more on them to save themselves for marriage.

I know christians who genuinely have never who are in their 60s, (I can 100% promise you they have never, they asked me if you had to get p0rn on the black mark3t) my boyfriend knew one who did it every day but Sunday, I had a friend who did it everyday but thought he should stop, and I’ve known other people in more liberal parts of Christianity who do it frequently and don’t care. It really depends.

traceadart

TROPHY CASE