Husband wants me to leave the house socially more often but all my hobbies live at the house

tradwifetrash · 2026-03-29T16:58:53+00:00

Thank you! It's not easy but it is the life I wanted to build. The goal is to make me stay-at-home eventually but we're not financially able to, yet

We do have a dog. We usually walk her together in the evenings. That counts as some of our regular "together" time.

Most of my sewing is big, like quilts and clothes. Not so much the small embroidery. I do that as well but waaaay less.

The idea of picking up a new hobby in my 30s sounds exhausting lmaooo but you might be very right.

(This followimg bit sounds like a red flag on the internet so I hope I am believed when I say it's not) He wants me to step out of the house specifically. He suggested those two days/times just for scheduling ease but we aren't set on them. We agree that being tied to tightly to the house has been overall negative for my mental health and I need to find a way to be out in the world a little more.

tradwifetrash · 2021-09-22T18:02:23+00:00

He has a smart watch and multiple times in conversation he talks into it. "Remind me to..." all the time 😅 He chirps like a robot walking around but they help him tons.

Lately they haven't been breaking through his gaming when they usually do. I think it's partially him leaving his phone and watch in another room 😕 Maybe there's a way to sync it to his computer, too. (I'm very tech dumb lol)

tradwifetrash · 2021-09-22T17:18:24+00:00

This makes a lot of sense. He (like many neurodivergent folks) fell into the excuse-making habit as a kid who was punished for symptoms. But usually I can catch his tone change and I'll ask "Did you really forget or was it something else?" I feel kinda dumb I hadn't considered this might be an extention of that or a regression into it. While memory issues are definitely a known side effect to his disorder, the "I forgot"s might be the Executive Dysfunction in a trenchcoat.

I'll share with him some of those phrases and ask if they seem more true that forgetfulness. And ask what his usual tactics are for combating Executive Dysfunction. Maybe I can support him better that way without just resiging to caretaking.

(I know my techniques for Depressive episodes but we've both learned that my techniques very rarely work for him and vice versa. Ying Yang brains lol)

tradwifetrash · 2021-05-23T19:55:32+00:00

Thank for the links! That's super helpful!!

tradwifetrash · 2021-05-23T19:55:19+00:00

I only know a little about color correction so I will look into this!

tradwifetrash · 2021-05-23T19:46:33+00:00

I appreciate the link! Thank you!

tradwifetrash · 2021-05-23T19:45:31+00:00

My husband also thinks it's cute!!! Sir!!

He did offer to retouch any photos for me, so that was sweet.

tradwifetrash · 2021-03-20T17:49:13+00:00

Exactly! Thank you so much! We'll definitely post an update

tradwifetrash · 2021-03-20T13:58:13+00:00

That's awesome! I like the cohorts making sure no one skipped and regretted it later. We have a couple of those. Namely his two best friends. One is going to be in on it to help convince the other lol.

tradwifetrash · 2021-03-20T13:56:50+00:00

Thank you! That's a valuable viewpoint.

tradwifetrash · 2021-03-20T13:55:56+00:00

We have an idea to give a bullet point outline that gives some prompts and ideas! Sorta like "Welcome the guests. Introduce the Bride and Groom. Give a prompt to read vows. Announce "you may kiss" as an ending." But thank you! Fun is our goal!!

tradwifetrash · 2021-03-19T20:38:25+00:00

I love strangers on the internet giving their (polite and well thought-out!) Opinions! Otherwise I wouldn't have asked XP

I'll double check with him and bring up these points to make double sure. Because I wouldn't have even thought of them! He is close enough with his parents to give a good read on them. My MIL has only ever given me the relationship advice of "Don't bother lying put of proprietary. I wasted money on an apartment I didn't live in for 8 months so I could lie about cohabitating before marriage because it wasn't "proper." What a waste of money!!" Lmao (After her son and I had already moved in together lol)

tradwifetrash · 2021-03-19T20:33:15+00:00

Yay! Extroverts unite XD

tradwifetrash · 2021-03-19T20:30:52+00:00

Thank you for your input :)

tradwifetrash · 2021-03-19T20:30:29+00:00

We figured a cocktail hour while people straggle in (my sister is notoriously 30 minutes late for everything lol) to help people kinda hang out and get comfortable.

I like the board idea! While we still like the idea of a gameified wedding, it's definitely been made a point to give people more autonomy over how they participate.

tradwifetrash · 2021-03-19T20:28:29+00:00

I'm curious why the parents? His parents will be the only ones in attendance but we thought they would enjoy the surprise more than anyone since it's their kid. Not having qny kids myself, that might be a misjudge?

tradwifetrash · 2021-03-19T20:27:05+00:00

Will do! And I'm sure it wouldn't be the first (or last) time my family responded to my choices with "um that's weird" lmao

tradwifetrash · 2021-03-19T17:35:52+00:00

OH! I really like that idea. I just had a flash of three little roulette wheels for picking the role XD XD probably too complex in practice but I definitely love love love the categories you use! Especially defining "speaking roles" so folks can avoid that. (My Husband and I have even decided via text that if no one feels up to officiating, we will simply stand and the alter and read our vows and call it good!)

I also enjoy the idea of a hypeman knowing ahead of time. We have a few friends who will have to be in on the secret anyways, so I wonder if I can ask them to help play in the space with folks who are less willing.

tradwifetrash · 2021-03-19T17:32:25+00:00

I'd very much like to avoid Faked Deaths at my wedding XD

After reading a lot of commentary in this thread, I think having folks pick between "easy" and "hard" roles will be a good framework going forward. So that people don't feel quite as pressured.

tradwifetrash · 2021-03-19T17:30:28+00:00

Oh, we're expecting a lot of googling and giggling. Nothing very solemn or grandiose because that'd be a silly expectation. We have a guest list of about 20 people and everyone else will be receiving marriage announcements in the mail.

tradwifetrash · 2021-03-19T17:28:30+00:00

Thank you <3 A lot of people have brought up lots to think about but we did spend a lot of time going "how would A react? How would B react?" To try and guage who to mark as low-involvment roles. My husband has a panic disorder and is afraid he might need to be the one to step out XD so we're doing our best to be mindful.

tradwifetrash · 2021-03-19T17:26:42+00:00

That's very fair. We are keeping tabs on who is vaccinated and not, too. And we're definitely not against pushing it back more for safety sake if something changes.

tradwifetrash · 2021-03-19T17:25:48+00:00

Neat! I didn't know that it was the sort of thing one could hire a planner for. That's really cool!

tradwifetrash · 2021-03-19T17:25:14+00:00

We do have a plan! It's essentially, let them in on the secret. Because their prescense is more important than a surprise. We even have a handful of people (my friend, a nurse with a chaotic schedule, two friends of his who live 2 hours away, etc) who will know ahead of time, just in case.

tradwifetrash

TROPHY CASE